And What's Wrong With That, Anyway?

I don't even waste my time on the soul-sucking website that is Reddit anymore, but after an exhilarating month of vacations, I was exhausted and resting at home, bored and apparently starved for drama, because I decided to skim /r/nudism for the first time in forever. (The truth is, I miss having discussions with people about nudism, but nudists can be cloisteringly dogmatic sometimes). And there was one thing that stood out, and that I felt like addressing, that echoes some things I've heard elsewere in the news and on social media lately, on the subject of public nudity, in the context of such activities as naked bike rides and pride parades.

So, in response to a query about nude protesters marching in a pride parade, one seasoned debater and cunning linguist remarked, "U wanted to show ur pp and nothing else." [The entire quotation is copied sic erat scriptum for effect - honestly, I can't help reading it and hearing a petulant five year old's voice in my head]. I wanted to address that criticism, because it seems to me that we expend so much effort these days trying to bypass a straightforward reading of reality in order to fall back on the most politically correct stance available (example: restricting adults' access to porn because we don't want curious teenagers to seek it out).

Thus, the typical response is, "it has nothing to do with showing my penis", when the more accurate response would be, "yes, I do want to show my penis; what of it?" Instead of trying to convince the other side of our different approach, we bend over backwards to make it seem like we're already in agreement. But this doesn't work, because it's not genuine. Of course, it's very unlikely to convince someone with the more straightforward approach, either, but at least you maintain your honesty and integrity that way.

The tragedy is that we live in a culture that hypocritically abhors freedom of choice, and has learned to grasp legitimacy by couching its criticism in moralistic concerns over "the greater good" of society (or, often, children). Ironically, it's the same strategy whether the conservatives are trying to codify the Bible into law, or complaining about the liberals enacting a nanny state (oh, you mean the type that takes health care choices away from women, and wants to make self-expression of a sexual nature illegal?).

Before you close the loop of your own chains by accusing me of advocating public acceptance of something so universally (well, almost - few things are truly universal; let's not creatively interpret the facts) reviled as adults sexually exhibiting themselves in front of children, understand that by doing so you would be leaping right to the conclusion the prejudiced malcontent quoted above so perfectly teed up for you. I'm not (necessarily) advocating for men to expose themselves in public for sexual gratification. I'm just saying, wanting to "show ur pp" doesn't imply a sexual motive, and can be backed up by a lot of beneficial arguments. You've been led hand in hand to assume a negative interpretation, and you're walking right into the trap.

"Showing ur pp" in public, to strangers (yes, including children), entails a lot of health benefits. And not just to you (although it is very freeing), but to the people you're showing it to. It promotes body acceptance and positivity, while combatting shame and body image disorders. It helps resolve hangups and unhealthy curiosity that can lead to poor sexual development. It supports the tenet of freedom that our country was founded on, and demonstrates diversity while simultaneously emphasizing our shared humanity. And it contributes to our artistic freedom of expression, through which our individual identities can flourish. And if you are doing it primarily for pleasure? I guess I missed class the day they taught us that pleasure is a bad thing.

These are all the same principles that are propped up by nudism and the LGBT community alike. But just because the argument sounds unseemly (due to prejudiced assumptions), and is capable of being hijacked by unscrupulous agents (what argument isn't - including the argument this one is countering?), does that mean we aren't allowed to make it? If nudism is anything more than a farce (and I believe it is much more than that), then we should not shy away from the argument that society would benefit from more penises (along with the rest of the bodies of both sexes) being shown in public.

It's not an easy stance to market, but it's the truth, and isn't that what we believe? We should spend time figuring out how to convince the rest of the world of what we already know, instead of molding our position so far that it becomes accepted by the mainstream, at the cost of being unrecognizable from the counterculture ideology it started from. And what even is the point of that?

In short, a world where everyone is used to seeing human anatomy (as opposed to being frightened by it) would be a healthier and more productive world, and that's the world we should be working toward creating, no matter how the argument sounds on paper. All these people who freak out when exposed to a penis in public? They just need to see more penises in public. They'll get over it, and we'll all be better off for it. Let's stop catering to their neurotic delusions, to the detriment of us all.

Showering With Strangers

I recently had the opportunity to visit a new clothing optional (not specifically nudist, but open-minded) campground that I'd never been to before. For the sake of privacy, I'm not going to name it (as this isn't intended to be a review), although perceptive and/or well-traveled readers may be able to deduce the location. It's a rustic campground, with an atmosphere of new age spirituality - which I don't mind, being someone who has dabbled in neopaganism in my younger years. It was sparsely populated on the Saturday I arrived (and most people were dressed), and almost empty the next few days. Which was alright, since I only needed a place to sleep while vacationing in the area. But it was still nice to have a base of operations where I could walk around naked.

Anyway, the story I want to tell you is about the showers. The campground has two shower facilities. One centrally located in the poolhouse, and another near the entrance gate. The poolhouse showers are just a row of shower heads hanging from the ceiling, with no privacy partitions and in full view of the pool. The upper bathhouse is more traditional, with separate facilities for men and women. Although even there you get a row of shower heads, walled off from the rest of the bathroom, but open to each other. I never encountered a single other person at the upper bathhouse during my stay, but I preferred to use the poolhouse showers for their more open and (particularly) coed quality.

I'm a nudist (and more than that, an exhibitionist - although one who knows how to behave), so I have a lot of experience and no reservations about showering in front of strangers (or even people I know). That said, since the pandemic, I haven't had a lot of opportunities to visit nudist resorts (I've been satisfying my hunger for nude recreation free range, by going nude alone in the wilderness the past few summers), so it was a little bit more stimulating than I expected showering in the poolhouse that first night, with other people.

Here's how it happened. When I entered the poolhouse Saturday night, there was a young couple getting ready to swim in the pool. As I entered the shower area, the woman (who remained dressed in a one piece swimsuit the entire time) was rinsing off. Given her attire and demeanor, I got the impression that she might have been unaccustomed to social nudity, so I picked the shower head in the back corner and kept to myself. She subsequently got into the pool, after which the man she was with removed his shorts before rinsing off in the shower and then joining the woman in the pool. I had considered taking a dip in the pool myself before continuing with my shower, but it was a small pool, and I didn't want to encroach on the couple, or spook them with my level of confidence being naked in front of strangers.

So I just continued with my shower. In the past, there have been times when I've modified my shower routine in front of strangers, to reduce the amount of time I spend scrubbing my nether regions. But I decided that if we've all agreed to shower in front of each other, we might as well stick to our regular routines. Besides, I've seen other people scrub themselves pretty diligently, and it has to be done, right? Problem is, rubbing my dick in front of strangers can sometimes get me a little excited. It's even been known to happen on occasion while alone in the shower at home.

Rest assured, I behaved myself. I wasn't even fully stiff. But there was noticeable enlargement. It's all natural, right? Although even the thought of presenting a somewhat more impressive profile to anyone who might glance over was enough to keep me mentally stimulated. I'm a human being! (Also, I'm a model, so I know I'm easy on the eyes, and that in itself boosts my confidence). I tried my best just to focus on finishing my shower. But while I was engrossed in the substantial task of shampooing my waist-length hair, two young women, both nude, entered the poolhouse and began to shower. One of them even grabbed the shower head directly next to mine! I know "prudists" abhor the impulse to show off, but I couldn't help feeling thrilled at the opportunity to exhibit my body - damp and coursing with vitality - in front of others.

In case it bears repeating, I behaved myself. I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done any other time I've been focused on the act of taking a shower. I just enjoyed the sensation of being part of a free body culture, until I had finished toweling off; then I left. What's the point of there being beauty in the world if we're not allowed to admire it? Which brings me to my next subject. The lighting in the poolhouse was sparse and largely natural, but it somehow looked incredible. There were some mirrors on one side of the shower area. Not as many as I would have put there, but enough that I could catch a glimpse of myself showering from the near corner (as I discovered on a later day).

Not to sound narcissistic (I'm getting tired of making that disclaimer), but I looked incredible in that lighting, scrubbing my damp body down (the open layout prevented any issues with fogging). I wanted so badly to record a video of me showering, but I refrained, on account of there being a sign explicitly forbidding the use of cameras in the poolhouse. The campground has pretty reasonable common sense rules about photography (which is a refreshing change of pace), that I took advantage of to shoot some self-portraits while the place was pretty much empty. I didn't want to push their hospitality to the breaking point - even though I found myself alone in the poolhouse that last day, rinsing off after striking camp under the hot morning sun.

So I restricted my photographic endeavors to the more remote and less populated upper bathhouse, but it just wasn't the same. I wouldn't know where to begin in setting up the right conditions in a more private location. It kills me that there can be visual stimuli in this world that I, as an artist, consider to be sublime, yet because of our taboos and hangups (even in a relatively open-minded and body-baring community), they have to go undocumented. Like a perfectly cooked meal, arbitrarily left to rot uneaten. Somebody show me a world where this isn't the case!

Skinny Dip Falls

I was disappointed to hear about the controversy surrounding access rights to Skinny Dip Falls in Chautauqua County, NY as of this spring. And I wanted to get out there and experience it before it was too late. Reports seem to be mixed on how serious the situation is. I personally witnessed a nosy neighbor monitoring vehicles parking in the nearby turnout. But though "no trespassing" signs were posted on the adjacent property, the creek was still clearly marked out for public fishing. And I was not the only nude hiker in the gorge that day.

I've freehiked wilderness trails before, and gone skinny dipping countless times at rivers, lakes, and on beaches. But almost always in a surreptitious manner. What's novel about this spot is its history and reputation for nudism (clearly marked, in one of the more conscientious examples of spray painting on rocks that I've seen). Unlike other occasions, where I've been anxious about running into other people, it was exhilarating being able to hike nude and not worry about who I came across (as they would have been amply warned of the possibility of encountering nudity). Indeed, I did encounter a few people while hiking nude, with whom I traded a friendly (and completely unselfconscious) greeting. Most notable was a group of four seasoned hikers who had entered the gorge ahead of me, one of which was himself hiking au naturel (and sporting the nudists' telltale all-over tan).

We need more places like this in the world. Places where people can enjoy the natural beauty of our planet, and do so nude if they choose, without worrying about offending others who make different choices. Places that aren't fenced in and don't require admission fees (although I wouldn't mind paying $7 for the peace of mind to enjoy this trail without hassle or fear of being towed or ticketed for trespassing, while contributing to the local economy - which we most certainly did do while in the area). Places that aren't rooted to a landed community that, no matter how friendly, will inevitably make you feel like a guest and an outsider (with an intimidating list of rules, when all you really need to do is just use common sense). We need to do what it takes to keep these precious few places available to the public, which means fighting for them, but also using them responsibly and practicing good stewardship of the environment.

Because if my experience in the natural paradise of my own metaphorical backyard is any indication, it's not generally the people who want to take their clothes off that are a public nuisance; it's the drunks and the self-entitled egoists who can't see past their own desire to party, and who think the planet is their trash can, that tend to ruin it for the rest of us. And when I tell you not to blame their mess on us nudists, I say that as the naked person who has repeatedly had to pick up others' trash while shaking my head at the tasteless, bigoted graffiti with which they've stained the natural landscape we all must share. Let us not lose sight of who the true villain is here. Because it's not the person who just wants to take advantage of a hard-to-find opportunity to enjoy nature without wearing clothes.

Cosplay Malfunction

Preface: Back when COVID hit, I was working on a homemade version of the iconic metal bikini that Princess Leia wears in Return of the Jedi (because the mass-produced Halloween costume that I bought was too conservative for my tastes). Last weekend was the first time I got to trot it out in public, at the first convention I've attended since the pandemic. It is, by nature, a very skimpy cosplay, that is held together by a series of small snaps. I've done my best to ensure that the costume is secure, and indeed my experience wearing it went off without a hitch. However, there was a moment while I was taking some self-portraits on the rooftop patio of the convention center, that one of the snaps popped open while I was maneuvering myself into a lying position on a bench, leaving me briefly exposed from the back as the self-timer counted down (hence the photo evidence - I swear this situation wasn't contrived :-p). I was in a remote location when it happened (which is the reason I felt comfortable taking so many liberties with my poses), and nobody else was around to witness this temporary wardrobe malfunction. Nevertheless, it got my imagination running.

What if - hypothetically speaking - this had happened in the middle of a crowd of convention goers? Now, I'm an exhibitionist. Skimpy outfits bring me joy - whether I'm the one wearing them, or somebody else is wearing them. I'm wearing a thong under my costume, because I want to be covered (for liability purposes), but I don't want to be covered any more than I have to. I'm not shy. I would walk around the convention in just the thong if it were socially acceptable. In fact, I have walked around this city in a thong before (in the right circumstances). But this is a convention, and I'm supposed to be in costume, not undressed just for the hell of it.

So let's say I'm walking around in a skimpy costume, and a wardrobe malfunction occurs. My skirt is held on by a series of snaps, and if a single one fails, the entire skirt would collapse to the floor. Even if I were to grab for it the instant I notice it falling, chances are there would still be a brief moment where I could potentially be flashing a crowd of people - even if I made every effort to cover up as quickly as possible. I'm sure staff would say, "if there's any chance of your costume falling off, you should be covered up underneath." But in my case, that would defeat the very nature of my costume. And in my defense, I saw women walking around the convention in little more than a thong without even a skirt covering their butt. It's not like there would be any point at which my genitals would be exposed.

Regardless, let's suppose it happens. Now consider what you would do if you were a bystander who, like me, enjoys skimpy outfits, and happened to be holding a camera in your hands when the malfunction occurred. I think that under normal community standards, it would be considered impolite to snap a picture of a person thuswise indisposed, under the assumption that they are exposing something they weren't intending and probably aren't comfortable exposing. But in my case, I'm only covering it up to satisfy community standards. If I were the one experiencing the malfunction, I'd want somebody to snap a picture, because it's the only way I could be thuswise exposed without incurring fault. I'd want somebody to document that moment. And I'd want everybody who witnesses it to enjoy it - if that's the sort of thing that floats their boat - guilt-free. Because although society tells us this sort of thing is taboo, I say we should be allowed to enjoy it.

I guess what makes it tricky is that you don't know who's an exhibitionist and who's not (unless you already know the person), and it's better to play it safe and avoid the risk of embarrassing someone at the cost of missing the golden moment. On the other hand, I'm not saying "cosplay is consent" (consent to what, exactly?), but if you're walking around a convention in a skimpy outfit that's in danger of potentially exposing you at any moment, chances are you're not super uptight about complete strangers getting a look at your body. I wish people would snap more candid pictures of me in various positions (especially from behind!), instead of having to ask for my permission and then getting a canned pose, or worrying that I would be offended if I ever saw the picture they sneakily snapped of me while I was lounging unawares (I want to see those pictures, too!). I'm not walking around half naked because I don't want people looking at me! I guess I just have rare insight because I know what it's like both to be the sexy cosplayer and the hopeful voyeur. We could all learn something if we spent a little time walking in the other guy's shoes.

Or the other girl's heels, as the case may be.

No Excess Baggage

Sex has so much baggage. And while we place some of that baggage onto sex artificially, there will always be a certain amount that legitimately comes with the territory. Sex is messy. Sex tugs at people's heartstrings. Sex can carry health risks. And in certain couplings, sex carries the risk of pregnancy. Which is a big deal.

I'm open-minded, but I don't want to have or be surrounded by people having indiscriminate sex all the time. That's why I support people being able to be naked together absent a sexual context - i.e., nudism. But sometimes nudism takes it too far in de-emphasizing sexuality, to a point where it no longer even matters what people look like, and it's almost considered a sin to admire another person's body.

I want to spend time admiring people's bodies. Attractive people. As little dressed as possible. I feel like this is so hard to find - looking, for the sake of looking, without the expectation of a sexual coupling (and the frustrations, on both sides, when that turns out not to be a mutual goal). I mean, sure, we do it all the time, but we have to hide our intentions, and you can never get enough of an eyeful without either committing to a sexual relationship, or coming off as a total creep.

That's why I like art - the exhibition of aesthetic beauty, for viewing without further commitment - and why I support, as nudism does, a culture where nudity isn't treated as an invitation to sex. I just don't want to lose the part where we get to experience delight at the sight of the human body. Because it gives me so much pleasure in life, and it's a harmless joy (paradoxically feared by so many people) that I never feel I can get quite enough of.

To summarize, in a textile culture, you don't get to see people naked unless you're in a sexual relationship. In a nudist environment, you can see people naked but you're not allowed to enjoy the view. I'm just looking for the middle ground, where we can appreciate naked beauty - even for its erotic appeal - yet without comitting to a sexual relationship.

Unnatural

Human nature makes a lot more sense when you consider that man is just another animal driven by instinct. Civilization is, largely, a positive influence, but exposure to it tends to foster the illusion that it is the norm rather than the exception.

So, I was talking to a person who enjoys the conjunction of nudism and swinging (a taboo subject among conventional nudists), and I was struggling to formulate a response that is respectful of nudism, yet neither hollowly dogmatic nor judgmental of an open and unrestrained approach to sexuality (which I support - in principle; it's much harder to put into practice). How do you tell someone who likes walking around naked in front of strangers and openly having sex, that walking around naked is perfectly natural, but openly having sex is not? I mean, isn't that pretty much our prime directive?

And I came to a conclusion. What if nudism isn't natural, after all? I mean, the kind of nudism that's just as buttoned up (maybe more so) as textiles are on the subject of sex. Sure, it's perfectly natural to walk around naked without draping man-made fabrics over our bodies to preserve a completely arbitrary sense of dignity. But what if it's also perfectly natural for people to constantly be having loads of sex, out in the open, with multiple partners? Speaking in an evolutionary sense, our sex drives are a powerful instinct. There may be risks inherent to indiscriminate sexual activity, but you can't argue that nature favors the "spray and pray" method. It's civilization that seeks to dampen this wanton sexual behavior.

Now, I believe in the merits of civilization. And I think we should be more discriminate in who and how we fuck. I'm ruled by the complex intelligence of my brain, not solely by my baser instincts. But the fact remains, it may be no more natural to pretend that we shouldn't be fucking around all the time than it is to pretend there's any good reason to wear clothes. This would explain an awful lot of the difficulty nudism has trying to convince the world that naked people hanging out doesn't automatically carry a sexual connotation, and why it seems (to non-nudists and sexual progressives alike) so hypocritical on its face for nudists to go to the trouble of shattering the nudity taboo but then come to the decision to still preserve our taboos around sex.

Let me state this clearly. I believe in the non-sexual version of nudism. I support it, and I actually prefer it to the alternative (which is a nude-friendly swingers' lifestyle - and why wouldn't swingers be nude-friendly?). But let's not kid ourselves into thinking it's natural or even obvious. And let's stop getting endlessly frustrated with the multitudes of people who get it wrong. That's like figuring out calculus and letting every person who never got past algebra drive you up the wall. Accept that this misunderstanding is, by necessity, going to be widespread, and then work on trying to correct people with more patience and empathy, instead of writing off everyone who ever gets it wrong as an idiot or an enemy. Most people alive don't get as much sex as the force of natural evolution (and their appetite) intends. So let's give them a break.

Undercarriage (An Artistic Exception)

Every so often, while I'm bent over combing my hair out after a shower, I'll get a glimpse of myself in the mirror we have propped up in the bathroom, and the sight will catch my eye. I find it particularly intriguing, for whatever reason, when my genitalia is hanging extra low. Such an important part of my anatomy, so seemingly tenuously attached to my body!

It is a prurient sight, perhaps, but I'm not trying to photograph it in a vulgar manner, which would be all too easy to do. I just find it an interesting view, as a photographer of the human body, from an artistic and even scientific perspective, almost more so than a sexual one. The simple fact is, you don't usually get to see this angle because of our gymnophobic attitudes and sexual taboos.

Now, if we're being honest, not everyone looks good from this angle - not even I look good from this angle every single time. But I groom myself and photograph myself with the intent to create artistic bodyscapes that look pleasing enough to eat dinner off of. And when I accomplish that goal, there isn't a single reason in the world that adequately justifies preventing me from sharing that view with interested others. And (contrary to the specious "nobody wants to see that" argument) there are, always, interested others - if you know where to look.