Dropping The Other Shoe

I started the day in a hopeful mood; I just took my whole family out to vote, followed by a celebratory "democracy brunch" at our favorite local restaurant (which just happens to be owned and operated by immigrants). As an aside, the bill came out to about half of what I earn in an entire year as an artist these days (it wasn't that expensive, that's just how little I make). I know things are really bleak right now, but I genuinely see a bright future ahead of us. Perhaps I'm being idealistic (and I've certainly got my sleeves rolled up, because the work's not going to do itself), but I believe that as bad as things have gotten, it's finally galvanized enough of us to recognize the problems with our system, and motivate us to fix them.

But now, things have taken an ominous turn, and I'm feeling a bit disheartened again. Although it's not unrelated to politics, it (probably) has nothing to do with voting (although the administration's techno-fascist stranglehold on social media is enough to make me wonder - like how Zuckerberg de-platformed No Kings on Instagram during their nationwide protest last weekend). Blogger delisted one of my posts today. I'm going to gloss over the fact that it wouldn't even tell me which post - I had to sift through thousands of them to find it, but it turned out to be a post in which I had recently replaced a video with a subscription link (as discussed previously). Normally, in these circumstances, the best strategy is to lay low. But, out of frustration - and perhaps some level of spite - I pressed the button to request a review. Now, this is one of those cases where technically, I may indeed be in violation of the rule, but it's the rule itself that's unfair. The result, though, is that I may very well lose this blog in short order.

And it seems to me, that it's not much of a stretch to interpret this whole mess as my livelihood being threatened by AI - since its tendrils are being felt increasingly every day. Just recently, on JustForFans, I've been having content tags "recommended" on videos I've uploaded. What this says to me is that they have AI scanning every video uploaded (because there's no way they have enough biological eyeballs to do that work). And that terrifies me. Because no matter how many times the people behind JFF assure us otherwise, I do not trust for one second that this AI is not absorbing my content and feeding it into the hivemind. Without compensation (as the techbros grow ever fatter on our labor), and without my consent.

I know it's passe to even talk about privacy these days, but when mass video surveillance became ubiquitous, people (rightfully) had concerns about their privacy. Not only those who feared no longer being able to commit crimes in obscurity, either. I don't feel that I can even get into all the reasons right now, but the notion that "if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear" is bogus. Privacy is valuable even to people who aren't criminals, not least of which because it's easier to "profile" and discriminately target people the more you know about them. Also, the law isn't the only thing that can hurt people who don't conform. There are plenty of people who just want to do their own thing without hurting anybody, but also without being judged and shamed or singled out for their outlying behaviors.

Anyway, I've long felt that the dangers of mass surveillance were strongly mitigated by the limitations of human eyeballs. It doesn't matter so much that there's a camera on every street corner, because you couldn't possibly have someone watching the feed every second of every day. You run it on a loop, and if there's, say, a report of a crime, then law enforcement can pull up the records within so many days and specifically watch the relevant portion. Otherwise, all those hours of meaningless footage gets lost, as it should be.

AI changes that. AI can watch every second of every day. We're getting closer and closer to Big Brother. And that's scary enough, but knowing how imperfect AI is - false positives are rampant right now. It'd be bad enough if every violation, no matter how minor, on social media was litigated, but to think of how many innocent people are being swept up in these raids... I worry about the chilling effect this is going to have on people's speech. How long will somebody like myself - an honest artisan of the erotic arts - even be able to exist outside of the gated warrens of the adult sector, where people are treated like subhuman animals without rights or plain human dignity? Let alone, the limitations it places on the reach of my voice.

I have no leverage, but more importantly, I have no community. I want to join a union. I want to talk to other people who do the same kind of things I do, and have the same kind of issues I have. Granted, I'm a loner, so networking doesn't come naturally to me. But am I completely out of bounds in thinking that maybe we're being deliberately isolated, so that we can't work together? Usually, you can find discussion forums somewhere where people are talking about how crappy a product is (like a social media platform, for example). Every time I've had a problem with sites like Patreon, OnlyFans, and JustForFans, all I can pull up in search is ads for those services, and content (how are other people selling their stuff if every effort I've made to self-advertise - something that doesn't come naturally to me - is met with hardened resistance?). Even their subReddits are relatively empty, or devoid of any meaningful meta-commentary. Am I the only human being on this planet who produces pornography and has a rational, thinking mind? I know that can't be true, but I'd be inclined to believe it from what little I've been able to find out there...

In lieu of polishing this post, I'm just going to publish it, because I don't know how much longer I'm going to have a platform with which to raise my voice. :-/

Aiming For My Foot

I'm taking a risk in even bringing this up - not least of all because talking about it removes any plausible deniability (the defense of ignorance), but also because drawing attention to your own misdeeds is obviously a fool's errand. But I am nothing if not transparently honest (even to my own detriment), and I want to take this opportunity to point out an injustice, as well as plead my case. All of my posts on this blog are backed up, but that doesn't eliminate the serious inconvenience and, more importantly, considerable emotional harm it would cause me if this blog I've been writing on for the last 16(!) years suddenly vanished.

When I started up my computer today and navigated to the Blogger dashboard, I received a notice of changes to the Content Policy, which will become effective on December 16. A link to the policy provides no indication of what has changed, and since I don't have the policy memorized, I can but guess. (I'm sure that's a strategic choice by the company - to maintain a position of power by keeping the userbase in the dark). One part in particular stood out to me, although I have reason to believe that it is not a new rule - just one that I had most likely ignored in the past, because it had no relevance for me at the time.

Rest assured, adult content will still be permitted. Blogger teased revoking that privilege once before (over 10 years ago - where does the time go?) and, to its credit, backed down amid a shitstorm of justified outrage. The part that concerns me is the one that outlaws the monetization of adult content. First, some background.

I'm an artist. I'm also a free thinker. I started this blog 16 years ago to explore subjects that run adjacent to my artistic pursuit - pondering questions about the aesthetics of beauty, and the place of nudity and sexuality not just in art but society overall - as much as to share some of the art I produce. Back then, monetization wasn't even on the periphery of my vision. Nude self-portrait photography started as a private hobby, and only grew over the years into my life's passion.

It's only been in the past six years or so, with the proliferation of independent creator-oriented platforms like OnlyFans and its competitors, that I've been able to start getting back a fraction of the value I expend making the art I enjoy sharing with appreciative and like-minded audiences. Eight years ago, I participated in a personal project that involved posting my art daily for an entire year (in tribute to the first such project I engaged in, ten years prior, which marked my formal introduction to the exciting world of nude photography), right here on this blog.

Now, Blogger has never been the ideal platform for video content. I had toyed with the idea of selling my videos on XTube in the past. However, although I do not place limits on myself when it comes to exploring the gratifying realm of physical pleasure, my work is primarily oriented toward artistic nudity, and I resent having to resort to narrowly focused and frankly distasteful porn sites in order to share it. That said, there are no real alternatives. I can't post the kind of videos I produce on YouTube - the platform would never allow it.

In any case, the project in question occurred at a time after XTube had gone belly up, and before I started experimenting with OnlyFans and its ilk. It's only in the past year that I have gone back and begun replacing the videos I've posted here on this blog (itself an endeavor I've been working on for almost a full year now) with links to my subscription site on JustForFans. Which I am only now realizing is likely against the rules (albeit depending on your interpretation of the wording). But isn't that my prerogative? Why am I being singled out because my vocation involves nudity or sexuality? It's not like there aren't content filters in place.

This is a capitalist country. More so than a religious conservative haven, or a nanny state (because, unfortunately, neither conservatives nor liberals have the market cornered on sexual repression). We have individual liberties. If I choose to do this work (legally!), and share it with consenting audiences, why am I not permitted to advertise it, and seek new customers? We have an administration that is getting filthy rich by lying, cheating, and stealing, while dismantling our federal government and the world order. Yet I'm facing the possibility of losing 16 years of work, just because I thought I might be able to get a few bucks out of it - fairly? No, I don't accept that! I'm not going to comply in advance. If you want to take me down, then fuck you. But I'm not changing who I am.

Vote for Democracy

To my audience in the United States, please vote. Our democracy depends on it.

I know that politics can be dull, hard to follow, and often divisive. Under normal circumstances, the two parties we're stuck with tend to seem more alike than different. I spent much of my adult life identifying as a conscientious non-voter, so I get it. But these aren't normal circumstances. Not only is the current administration corrupt and incompetent to an unprecedented degree, but it's attacking our Constitutional rights, and indeed the very foundation of our democracy.

Immigration raids. Concentration camps. Data centers. Crypto scams. The price of gasoline. Gutting social services. The rising cost of health care. Preventable epidemics. Deregulating food safety. Censoring the media. Stealing taxpayer money to fund vanity projects. Sacrificing our natural resources to Big Industry, amid an escalating climate crisis. All the lies! Sabotaging our elections. Dismantling the separation of powers. Compromising the courts. Weaponizing the justice system. Demolishing the White House. Misusing the Presidential pardon. Unilaterally starting a war of choice in the Middle East, with devastating economic repercussions for the entire world. Threatening our allies. Colluding with our enemies. And I haven't even mentioned the Epstein Files coverup! The list of grievances just goes on and on and on and on...

Although we can't vote out the President in this midterm election, there is still much at stake. The MAGA movement appears to be cracking under the pressure of its universally unpopular Christian nationalist agenda. Our Republican representatives in Congress refuse to hold the administration accountable for its numerous crimes against the law, our Constitution, and humanity. But if we can vote enough progressive Democrats into office, we can start to turn the tide.

Make no mistake, this will only be the beginning of a long period of reconstruction. But it could be the start of an exciting transformation. We, the people, have the power to guide this country into a future greater than it has ever seen before. To re-assert our rights, and make sure the government gets back to doing what we created it for - public service, not exploiting the populace for the benefit of ultra-rich campaign donors.

But to do this, we need YOUR vote. Don't sit this one out (or the next one, or the one after that). Let the crooks at the top know where you stand. Because they WILL take your silence as consent. And the only thing evil needs to triumph, is for good people to do nothing. So do something. Get out there and make your voice heard!

I hope to see you at the polls this Erection Day (or sooner, if you can swing it). Nothing would make me happier.

The Railroad Scene

It's a shame exhibitionism has such a bad reputation (among the universe of sexual fetishes); I doubt I would get much credit for the creative ways I come up with to indulge this desire (at least in fantasy). For example, the hotel elevator roulette - hopping on an elevator naked and riding it to the top (or bottom) of the hotel and back, and banking on it not stopping to pick anybody else up in the interim. Or freehiking roulette - picking a nature trail to hike naked, and banking on not encountering any other hikers before you make it back to your clothes. I know, I'm terrible. And I just came up with another one.

You know how, in those old cartoons, the villain would capture the damsel in distress, and tie her to the railroad tracks? Well, I just spontaneously thought of an exhibitionist version of that scenario. Using ropes and bondage cuffs, you could tie a person up, naked and spread eagled in the garage, directly across the path of the garage door. (Note: please don't attach anything TO any part of the garage door mechanism, as that would be extremely dangerous). And then let that person wait anxiously for the inevitable moment when somebody opens the garage door, completely exposing them to the street and anybody walking by!

Well, it was a chore photographing this concept all by myself. (Bondage, as a rule, is hard to do alone). I had to scrounge around for items to attach the ropes to - I used a ladder and a wheeled clothing rack (not the most secure items, to be sure). And then there was no way I was going to be able to finagle myself into the cuffs, with ropes pulled relatively taut, in ten seconds while the self-timer counted down. I'd love to do the concept again, more cleanly, with better rope mounts, and perhaps a remote shutter release. But in the meantime, I just recorded a video of me playing with the apparatus. It's kinda long. But I had fun with it.

Oh, and no, I didn't open the garage door. That part's better left to fantasy. :-p