Cosplay Malfunction

Preface: Back when COVID hit, I was working on a homemade version of the iconic metal bikini that Princess Leia wears in Return of the Jedi (because the mass-produced Halloween costume that I bought was too conservative for my tastes). Last weekend was the first time I got to trot it out in public, at the first convention I've attended since the pandemic. It is, by nature, a very skimpy cosplay, that is held together by a series of small snaps. I've done my best to ensure that the costume is secure, and indeed my experience wearing it went off without a hitch. However, there was a moment while I was taking some self-portraits on the rooftop patio of the convention center, that one of the snaps popped open while I was maneuvering myself into a lying position on a bench, leaving me briefly exposed from the back as the self-timer counted down (hence the photo evidence - I swear this situation wasn't contrived :-p). I was in a remote location when it happened (which is the reason I felt comfortable taking so many liberties with my poses), and nobody else was around to witness this temporary wardrobe malfunction. Nevertheless, it got my imagination running.

What if - hypothetically speaking - this had happened in the middle of a crowd of convention goers? Now, I'm an exhibitionist. Skimpy outfits bring me joy - whether I'm the one wearing them, or somebody else is wearing them. I'm wearing a thong under my costume, because I want to be covered (for liability purposes), but I don't want to be covered any more than I have to. I'm not shy. I would walk around the convention in just the thong if it were socially acceptable. In fact, I have walked around this city in a thong before (in the right circumstances). But this is a convention, and I'm supposed to be in costume, not undressed just for the hell of it.

So let's say I'm walking around in a skimpy costume, and a wardrobe malfunction occurs. My skirt is held on by a series of snaps, and if a single one fails, the entire skirt would collapse to the floor. Even if I were to grab for it the instant I notice it falling, chances are there would still be a brief moment where I could potentially be flashing a crowd of people - even if I made every effort to cover up as quickly as possible. I'm sure staff would say, "if there's any chance of your costume falling off, you should be covered up underneath." But in my case, that would defeat the very nature of my costume. And in my defense, I saw women walking around the convention in little more than a thong without even a skirt covering their butt. It's not like there would be any point at which my genitals would be exposed.

Regardless, let's suppose it happens. Now consider what you would do if you were a bystander who, like me, enjoys skimpy outfits, and happened to be holding a camera in your hands when the malfunction occurred. I think that under normal community standards, it would be considered impolite to snap a picture of a person thuswise indisposed, under the assumption that they are exposing something they weren't intending and probably aren't comfortable exposing. But in my case, I'm only covering it up to satisfy community standards. If I were the one experiencing the malfunction, I'd want somebody to snap a picture, because it's the only way I could be thuswise exposed without incurring fault. I'd want somebody to document that moment. And I'd want everybody who witnesses it to enjoy it - if that's the sort of thing that floats their boat - guilt-free. Because although society tells us this sort of thing is taboo, I say we should be allowed to enjoy it.

I guess what makes it tricky is that you don't know who's an exhibitionist and who's not (unless you already know the person), and it's better to play it safe and avoid the risk of embarrassing someone at the cost of missing the golden moment. On the other hand, I'm not saying "cosplay is consent" (consent to what, exactly?), but if you're walking around a convention in a skimpy outfit that's in danger of potentially exposing you at any moment, chances are you're not super uptight about complete strangers getting a look at your body. I wish people would snap more candid pictures of me in various positions (especially from behind!), instead of having to ask for my permission and then getting a canned pose, or worrying that I would be offended if I ever saw the picture they sneakily snapped of me while I was lounging unawares (I want to see those pictures, too!). I'm not walking around half naked because I don't want people looking at me! I guess I just have rare insight because I know what it's like both to be the sexy cosplayer and the hopeful voyeur. We could all learn something if we spent a little time walking in the other guy's shoes.

Or the other girl's heels, as the case may be.