Try This On For Size (Swimsuit Edition)

It's back to the fitting room! I love trying on swimsuits. They look so hot on my body, and seeing me in them makes me feel super sexy. It really kills me that I can't realistically wear them anywhere (because they pretty much broadcast the fact that I have a male body, and most of them don't do an adequate job of covering my package from all angles). If I were a girl, I'd be a total knockout...

But first I tried on this flowery, white dress. I thought it looked pretty on me, but it was one of the more expensive ones, so I didn't buy it.

I also decided to try on some full, one-piece swimsuits. This turquoise number looked fantastic on me! It's a little plain from the back, but the front is so cute, and the color is just perfect on me! I was able to get a reasonable price on it, so I bought it, even though it's a tad too short on me - it tends to slip down at the top, and when I pull it up, there's a lot of pressure on the one point where there's the least fabric and I need the most coverage - my crotch. So, maybe not realistic for me to wear, but totally worth it even if just as a[nother] photo prop to add to my wardrobe.

I was surprised to find some one-piece Speedo swimsuits on the racks for once (not men's Speedos, mind you). I wanted to try some of them on, so I picked out a few in interesting designs and colors. But even the biggest size they had was clearly too small on me (as you can see in the above picture), so I unfortunately had to put them aside... :-(

These pink bottoms looked cute on me. If I were a girl, I'd have no complaints, and I'd definitely wear them if I had a top to go with them. But they come up a little low on me - a frequent problem I have with these otherwise sexy low-cut bottoms is that my package tends to tug them down in the front, sometimes leaving a gap. Great for fetish balls, maybe; not so much for family swimming pools. They're also slightly sheer (I wonder what they'd look like wet!). Again, if I were a girl, I'd totally wear them (I've seen girls get away with wearing things like this before), but for me, they don't quite meet the bare minimum requirements for adequate coverage.

I fell in love with this bikini the instant I spotted it on the racks. It's of a very unique construction. A lot of bikinis are very samey - not so much in designs and colors, of which there is a lot of variation, but they tend to conform to certain standard forms: string bikinis, solid bottoms, bandeau tops, etc. These bottoms consist of a front-back piece (sort of a "hammock") attached to a string that goes around the sides (not unlike an adjustable string bikini top), and can be tied off. As such, they have much less coverage around the sides than typical bikinis - even the string variety. I like the style a lot. It's more akin to one of those "pouch" bikinis that fetish shops make for men (though they unfortunately don't make them in styles as cute and girly as this one), with maximum thigh exposure - it's very sexy.

And, as you can see in these pictures, there's less coverage in the back, too. It's not quite a thong, but it does have a tendency to ride up your butt a little, and there's much more cheek being exposed than usual regardless. I love it! Plus, it's made of a very soft and comfy material. And did I mention how cute the design is? Cute, and sexy - just my style! Practically speaking, the bottoms don't keep me contained very well (which is to be expected), but the top fits me nicely, and the cups are good and rounded, which goes a long way in giving me the appearance of breasts. I think I could definitely wear it with some shorts. Either way, it's so much fun to wear, I definitely bought it.

This bikini just looked adorable on me. The narrow black-and-white stripes are very stylish, but the frilly fringe is cute and girly, and a beautiful shade of coral. This is another one of those suits that I'd wear if I were a girl. But it has the typical problem of the bottoms being stretched too much to cover me up. It was also one of the more expensive ones, so I had to pass it up.

Do you remember that Tinkerbell-colored dress I mentioned in my last edition of Try This On For Size? Well, it was still hanging on the rack, looking all pretty, so I decided I'd try it on just for the hell of it. It's a little longer than I'd like, but it's very elegant, and the skirt comes up in one spot to show off at least a little bit of my leg. You can tell in the second picture that the back is all out of sorts, on account of the zipper being completely busted. My roommate, who is an occasional seamstress, said she could try to find a way to put it back together. The dress is in pretty rough shape - it's definitely a fixer-upper - but it was only $3, so I bought it.

I wouldn't want to wear something as rough as this to an actual formal occasion, but I personally don't mind if it's stained and worn out - it still looks pretty. I just wish I had some excuse to wear something like this. It just seems a waste to wear it for no reason at all, like if all you're doing is driving to the store and back; and it would be impractical to wear on occasions where you're going to be active. If I had more like-minded friends, I think I'd definitely like to get into the habit of periodically throwing dress-up parties, just for fun, with no pressure to look perfect...