But then, later in the day, I went for a walk in the park, because we were having beautiful summer-like weather. And, as I've gotten into the habit of doing lately, I dressed in my jogging shorts, without a shirt. In fairness, I can't say that I was in full guy mode, as I was still wearing women's shorts (with pink highlights), and carrying a sparkly drawstring bag (the kind you might expect a tween girl to carry - yeah, I have really girly tastes). Plus, there was no hiding my long hair. But you'd think the whole shirtless thing would give away pretty quickly the fact that I'm a guy.
You'd think. But then, I've even had people at nudist resorts look twice when stepping into the men's room, or - imagine this sight - catching me at the urinal. Apparently, not even exposing (or using!) my penis is enough to discourage people from reading me as female. I'd been increasingly getting the impression that gender was simply a costume you put on (hair, clothes, and body grooming go a long way), but then there seems to be something naturally feminine about me, because I've had this problem since I was a kid, long before I ever started presenting as a female.
At any rate, while I was walking past a family on the trail in my shirtless splendor, a little girl glanced at me and asked her daddy, "why does that girl have no shirt on?" I could only shake my head and keep walking. I should be flattered (although it's undeniably an uncomfortable situation to be placed in), but it seems I can't win either way. Frequently when I'm at the park watching a friend's kids, and I'm dressed up like a girl, I have other kids asking me why I'm wearing girl clothes (though to be fair, it's usually some combination of my voice, or somebody calling my name, that gives me away). I guess I can't convincingly pull off male or female! I suppose the truth is that I'm something in between...
Very interesting experiences and reactions you've been having lately.
ReplyDeleteI know I react to you both as a male and as a female, and I feel equally comfortable in either mode. I just like you. When I see your long, blonde hair and sexy legs I get turned on to your female side, and when I see your hard cock I'm excited to think of you being sexually excited and sharing that wonderful feeling with others. It all works for me! I'm an equal-opportunity appreciator of beauty and sexual freedom.
By the way, I love you in both of these outfits. I envy those who get to see you in person.
Ah, yes, I have been having some adventures. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI like your open-minded approach. The world needs more of it. I don't expect people to force themselves to like things they don't like, but we could all do with a little less drama when exposed to those things we don't like.
For example, I've never been really attracted to anything masculine-oriented, but during the process of my sexual liberation, I've learned to appreciate some things I wouldn't have before, and that's not a bad thing.
Our culture is used to certain things, and unused to others, just as a matter of habit and tradition. But the barriers that restrict non-conformers from expressing themselves are an obstacle to freedom.
Ultimately, I shouldn't feel like I have to conform to this or that rigid expression of my gender - I should feel free to just be me! Hopefully the culture is moving in that direction - it's kind of looking like it is. Only time will tell. And if I can be a vanguard for that change, then maybe my isolated, eccentric life will have some meaning after all. :-)