Some're to Fall

Even though we're constantly being reminded of it, it's still easy to forget - and hard to imagine - that the world looks different to different people. Although I do have an appreciation for fashion, I tend to take it for granted (because it's how I personally feel) that the unclothed human body is the ideal form of beauty, and that clothes are there to frame and accentuate - like the polished backing that sets off a glittering gem - not to cover and obscure. So that, the skimpier the outfit, the better it looks (provided the person wearing it is attractive to start with, of course). Which is why I love summer fashion so much.

Some like to bundle up; I like to strip down.

Matters of taste are notoriously subjective - this I know. That's the appeal of freedom. Everybody gets to make their own choices, and the result is an abundance of diversity. Something for everyone. Of course, it's human nature to advocate for your own interests, but what gets to me is when cultural pressure is applied in order to lock out certain choices. You don't have to like skimpy clothes, because you don't have to wear skimpy clothes. But it's a consistent pattern that people who do (or would, if they had the agency) like to wear skimpy clothes receive a lot of judgment for their choices, often deterring them from doing it.

We're a social species. Not all of us are as fiercely nonconformist, and immune to peer pressure as I am. In fact, I'd wager that most people are not like me in that respect. We want to fit in. We want to be accepted. It takes a lot of courage to buck the trend and stand out, and stick to your guns while doing it. If I were even a smidge less independently-minded, I'd have given up on presenting as the gender I feel like in my heart, a long time ago. I haven't. But I worry how many people are out there suppressing their identity and their happiness in order to feel that sense of belonging that we all crave.

And the result is that the mainstream tends to railroad minority interests. Isn't it enough that these interests are in the minority? Do we have to exert pressure to stamp them out entirely? If it were simply the case that nobody else liked to walk around with a lot of skin exposed, I'd be disappointed, but I'd be out of luck. I could make a case for my approach, but I can't control how other people think. But the fact that there are people out there who would probably join me, but don't, out of a fear of judgment - well, that just riles me up. If you don't like it, don't do it, but leave others alone to do their thing!

And when you put a moralizing edge on top of it - as there always is, in matters that relate to beauty and the human body, which are inextricably entwined with the aesthetic element of our fundamental sexuality - you're rigging the game against me. I can't say, "but it should be okay for people to walk around town in string bikinis" (much less nude) without losing respectability and sounding like a single-minded pervert (as opposed to a connoisseur of aestheticism*). The opponent has, in effect, hollowed out the base of my argument so that merely standing on it causes it to collapse. It's sabotage!

I wanna go where the weather suits my clothes.

*[This might be a tough claim to swallow, as most people are not attracted to most people they encounter. Perhaps I'm being idealistic, but think about the feeling you get when you do encounter somebody you find attractive, and then imagine getting to see more of them. I keep thinking back to pool culture, and how quickly we become acclimated to a veritable panorama of bare skin. Also, there's a confidence factor involved. Self-consciousness may inspire average-looking people to cover up, but it's the moralizing and the slut-shaming that's jealously heaped on people who should be showing it off that feels distinctly unjust to me.]

The reason we're not limited to an academic discussion of hypotheticals here is because it all pivots on the fulcrum of what we're allowed (or, more importantly, not allowed) to expose our children to. Anything that's deemed inappropriate for children is naturally going to take on an edge of taboo - since it's a form of knowledge that will be actively denied of them. To think that such an ingrown notion will instantly disappear the moment they reach maturity is nothing short of magical thinking. The effect is that we will always carry a little bit of shame surrounding these topics, because it's what we were taught in our most malleable years. (For things like drinking and smoking, I have little sympathy, as those are detrimental to the health. Sexuality, while perfectly natural and healthy, is fraught with complications. But awareness of human anatomy? We're talking about the fundamentals here!).

And that is why conservatives* in Wisconsin are currently trying to criminalize nudism, despite the fact that science and unbiased reason back up the claim that there is nothing harmful about people being exposed to the human body from a young age. (How insane is it to outlaw the sight of what every single one of us possesses beneath our clothing?). Why does it feel like we're moving backward; that our civilization is regressing? Haven't we reached a point where we can simply be unclothed humans without assuming that it will turn us into unrestrained sex fiends? Or that we can admire the natural beauty of the human body - simultaneously holding its erotic qualities in our mind, while recognizing the distance between our imagination and the reality before our eyes? Clearly, we have not. And I'm growing tired of waiting around for the rest of society to evolve. I didn't get thrown into this American experiment just to die with my dreams unfulfilled.

Being undressed is not an adult activity.

*[A note on partisanship. Although these measures far too frequently receive bipartisan support, conservatives rightfully bear the brunt of the responsibility for them. Liberal politicians should absolutely be held accountable for their spinelessness in not standing up to conservative rhetoric. However, saying that they are just as responsible as the party that consistently brings these issues to bear in the first place would be delusional. It has been proven time and time again that these are issues conservative politicians are concerned about (or, more accurately, know that they can bolster their reputation among their gullible constituents by pretending to be concerned about). When you bring a bill to the table that's been disingenuously labeled the "Child Protection Act" (it sounds like a cliché but this is literally the case in Wisconsin), you're guaranteed bipartisan support because the alternative is political suicide. And that, my friends, is what we call "justice" here in these United States.]

Why should I pay to see your art?

Question: Why should I pay for a subscription on a fansite when you share so much of your art for free?

Answer: This is a very good question, and I hope that what I have for you is a very good answer. Both as an artist and an exhibitionist, I enjoy sharing my self-portraits with other people. I do it for myself as much as for the rest of you who like to see the pictures I take. But though it is work I would do for free (and have, for many years), I still believe artists deserve to be paid for the labor that goes into creating art, if for no other reason than it justifies them spending that time creating art and not working a different job. If you like art, and think it has value, then artists should get paid. Otherwise, there would be no art.

I'll come straight out and say, I'm not a good businessman. I wasn't born to a wealthy family of venture capitalists, I don't understand the calculus of economic risk vs. reward, and I don't have an entreprenurial bone in my body. But I'm creative, and expressive; that's why I'm an artist and not a business owner. That said, money doesn't just enable us to afford luxury, it's a requirement for survival. And I believe my dedication to the art of nude photography over a span of more than 15 years (with my earliest forays into the genre dating back to 2002!) possesses salable value. I'm not just an amateur hobbyist. This is my life's passion.

But you don't have to take my word for it. Art can and should speak for itself; I share more than enough of it for you to form an opinion on what I do. The fact is, there are people out there willing to pay for it, and I'd be a fool to turn them down. That leaves you with a choice. I've never wanted to lock my art - and my voice for self-expression - behind a paywall, excluding those who can't afford admittance. As a starving artist, believe me when I say I know what that's like. That's why you will always be able to enjoy a meaningful portion of the fruits of my labors free of charge. At the same time, I want to reserve special privileges as a reward for those who are able and willing to help support me financially (in whatever small part).

So, what do you get when you subscribe to one of my paid accounts? For now, there are two things of consequence that I am offering. One of them is quantity. Although I like to share many of the best works I produce with wider audiences, paying fans get access to everything. Even in my most prolific year on Twitter, I posted 143 images publicly, while in that same time, I shared 882 images with paying fans. That's a lot more variety - and a much greater chance of finding something you like. That includes entire photo sets and alternate poses not seen anywhere else - scores of good quality images that simply never made the highly exclusive "PR reel". Plus, you'll get behind the scenes views and a deeper insight into my mindset and photographic process. And though I take all feedback into consideration, as a paying fan, your opinions and suggestions about what I shoot will hold extra weight.

And that's not even the best part. Reserved solely for subscribers is nearly the entirety of my videographic output, uncensored and unrestricted by regressive community standards. You've seen me in still frame after still frame, and occasionally in multi-frame animations. Paying fans get to see me in full motion video - fully naked, and fully aroused, too. Imagine your favorite image of mine, and picture it not just as a photo set with up to a dozen or more variations, but in motion! In the same year cited above, I posted as many videos as there are weeks in a year - but for subscribers' eyes only. Most of them are relatively short exhibitions (so you'll never get bored!) of me engaged in various nude activities, indoors and out. But from time to time, fans will get an extra special treat. For just five bucks you can see it all. Then you can decide for yourself whether it's worth it. So go on, give it a shot. I'm sitting here without any clothes on, just waiting for you to come inside.

Bare in the Woods

As a sort of companion to last year's photoseries titled Dendrophilia, in which I spent the better part of the year seeking out and posing nude with interesting trees, this year I decided to recycle the bear mask I'd bought for my Goldilocks-themed shoot last fall, and, in service of my dual passions for naturism and photography, pose naked out in the woods as if I were a bear.

Focusing around rocky mountain hillsides and flowing river valleys, I sought out multiple locations in which to shoot over the summer, where I thought the presence of a bear would be appropriate. And now that fall has arrived, and winter is around the corner - when my love of outdoor nude recreation will be forced into hibernation until the spring - I can close the book on this project and show you the fruits of my labors!

As a nudist, what separates me from the rest of the population is that I'm actually more comfortable when I'm NOT wearing clothes (climate-considering). When I get dressed, it's not for my own sake, it's to make OTHER people more comfortable. And while I can enjoy being naked anywhere (truly, just about anywhere), the truth is, I really like being naked outdoors.

It's not a sexual thing. And it doesn't require an audience (although it's often hard to find privacy on this overcrowded planet). Obviously, weather is a factor, but I love the feeling of the wind and the sun, and the rocks and the grass, without the sensory-dampening buffer of clothing between the elements and my skin. The feeling of primal freedom that comes from being clad only in the sky - especially surrounded by nature - is honestly a spiritual experience for me.

I lament that opportunities to enjoy this sort of thing are so limited, and that even when I can, there is often the fear that, if discovered, my activities would be misunderstood. Because of this, getting naked in the woods can be a conflicting experience. On the one hand, it feels perfectly natural. But on the other, your social conditioning is telling you that you're doing something wrong. So you're sneaking around, hiding from any people you might come across. But then, that's how most of the wildlife behaves anyway.

I enjoy the artistic challenge of creating nude self-portraits for a number of reasons. Among them is the fact that it gives me an excuse to be naked in beautiful locations, and it gives me something to do while I'm there, involving a lot of physical exertion which is good exercise that keeps me in shape.

The truth is, I would pursue opportunities to be naked in nature even were I not an artist. But when I'm able to capture pictures that showcase the artistry of the human body amidst the beauty of our planet, I feel gratified in that it justifies my activities and inclinations, and gives me a chance to share my perspective with the world. So that, hopefully, in the end, people won't think I was never anything more than an inscrutable eccentric or a weirdo pervert.

Although I might be that, too. :-p

Mixed Messaging

As a creative-minded photographic artist interested in online activism, I appreciate seeing the advocacy images people come up with and share on social media. I even like to join in with my own on occasion. But sometimes, I have to shake my head at what I find online. Take the image below, which suffers from a disjointed tone. Ostensibly promoting topfreedom, it talks of equality, but seems to lack self-awareness. The fine print at bottom (a pretentious six lines of copyright for what effectively boils down to a composite of two stolen images) suggests a nudist or body-positive interpretation, but the choice of two impossibly beautiful models undermines its overall message (tip: it's possible to pick attractive models who are nevertheless not quite so out of the ordinary).

At a glance, one would be forgiven for mistaking this image to be a simple piece of eye candy. And don't get me wrong, these two people look incredible (this would not be a bad advertisement for bisexuality, if not also for crippling self-consciousness and body image disorders). There's nothing wrong with admiring their chiseled physiques. Except that, again, the fine print employs typical nudist jargon to cast aspersions on those who would share the image for more superficial purposes. It's softcore porn masquerading as nudist advocacy, that tries to grasp legitimacy by condemning pornography. Amazingly, the post manages to alienate both of its potential audiences. Nudists will be annoyed by the amplification of unrealistic beauty standards, while porn hunters will be put off by the admonishment of their "sexualized" motives (although let's be honest - they don't give a shit). The only cause this banner flies for is skin-thirsty hypocrites hiding behind the purifying sheen of nudism.

The final squirt of whipped cream on top of this debacle of a wannabe topfreedom meme is the fact that the two photos are specifically pointed out to be of unknown origin, while the person who edited the piece together spends three lines advertising their name and social media links. I respect the creativity involved with pairing text and images together to get across an idea (in another life, I might have been a clever ad-man), but it's ironic in this case, not only in that the result is so lackluster as to cast shade on the author's desire to take credit for it, but that the meat of the post - the two photographs - remain uncredited. Granted, these sorts of images tend to get passed around a lot, and it can be difficult to find their source. Then again, an inquiry on Reddit could potentially yield an unexpectedly fruitful result. But I'd be surprised if the author went to any trouble at all to track them down. Despite the fact that a journey of this kind can be a lot of fun. (It's not much, but a literal 30 second search on Google turned up the name of actor Kellan Lutz - and that's a start).

Can we agree to try just a little bit harder next time?

Belonging

What I find most interesting about this article (in which nudist travel bloggers Naked Wanderings reviews Bare Oaks Family Naturist Park) is that the author(s) haven't just reviewed the facilities they visited, but were actually able to record a demo video on the grounds. I'm sure they got special permissions, and they certainly have the reputation - and the proven skill - to do it justice. There can be no doubt that I am not the only one who envies their lifestyle, touring the world and producing quality content in support of the naturist lifestyle.

But I'm also caught thinking that they are so lucky to have found the lifestyle they love, that they have an opportunity to work passionately to support. I support nudism, and am invested in advocating for it, but even if I had the people skills to do something like this, I worry that I have too much of a preoccupation with beauty and sex-positivity to be viewed as "pure" enough of a nudist. And the reality is, I love nudism, but the lifestyle is still not a 100% perfect fit for me. And I fear that that perfect fit doesn't exist.

I'm just too much of a unique individual. I would love to meet a community that had all the same core beliefs that I have, with which I could share a mutual and unshaking respect. To which I could give my talents and my passions fully and wholeheartedly, to represent and advocate on behalf of. Instead, I feel lost and alone, drifting in a sea of people I can only ever relate to to a point. I like the idea behind the concept of "finding your tribe", but my search has been in vain all my life. I don't think I have one. And that makes me sad. Because I could be so much more than I am. If I could only find somewhere I belong.

Freedom Versus Beauty

In a comment on a recent post on this blog, I wrote "freedom is high up on the shelf, but I live and die for beauty." And I was thinking about that. The reason I place beauty above freedom is because, to me, beauty is happiness. And the way I see it, the purpose of freedom is to give us the ability to pursue happiness (since happiness is so mercurial that it can't simply be prescribed). Perhaps freedom has an intrinsic value apart from its utility in steering us toward happiness, but I can say that if I had the ability to be happy at the cost of my freedom, I'm not sure how valuable freedom would be anymore. Isn't that why all these conservatives who are perfectly content with the way things are (or used to be) are trying to take away our freedoms?

Anyway, it led me to an interesting thought experiment. If you had to choose between two alternatives, which would you prefer? A world in which all are free to go nude, at the cost of everybody being ugly...or a world in which everyone is beautiful, but nobody is permitted to go nude? Of course, it begs the question of whether there is any value in beauty if it's covered up. What if I said you could be surrounded by beautiful naked people, but you couldn't take your own clothes off?

I can say I would be hard-pressed to choose between those two alternatives, but neither one would be totally satisfactory. The ideal, of course, is to have both - freedom and beauty. But I do feel as though I'm often made to choose between the two. To spend a day alone and naked in the woods, or clothed with friends? To visit a nudist resort filled with old and sagging bodies, or put on a swimsuit and surround myself with bodies that are less ravaged by age? My solution is to alternate between the two, as opportunities arise. But I still dream of a world in which we can have both, simultaneously...

Public Showers

I've been sorta preoccupied with showering in public this summer (since even before that stimulating experience showering with nudist strangers), at campground bath houses and pool locker rooms and the like, sometimes even pushing the boundaries of where I remain uncovered. I figure, I don't wrap up in my bathroom at home, going from the tub to the sink; if it's understood that these are shower facilities, there should be implied acceptance of incidental nudity. The lengths to which textiles will sometimes go in order to avoid exposure is absolutely mental in my opinion, and I refuse to engage in it beyond reason.

Sometimes nudity is the most sensible state of dress.

It's not that I'm unconcerned about the ethics of appearing naked in front of "nonconsenting" strangers. After all, in this gymnophobic culture, I am made to feel like a monster for even thinking about enjoying the sensation of being undressed in public. But I feel very differently about the human body than most (it would seem), and while we're forced to cover up anywhere and everywhere, there are certain places where I think nonconfrontational, nonsexual nudity simply belongs.

How do I wrap my hair if the towel's around my waist?

It's not that I actually want to expose myself to unsuspecting strangers - something that hasn't happened all summer long in the relatively uncrowded restrooms I've visited (the risks I take are always carefully calculated), it's just that there is a remarkable dearth of opportunities in this culture to simply engage in and be surrounded by adherents of the sort of "free body culture" that I enjoy and crave to experience on a far more regular basis than it is convenient to do in this society.

Individual stalls offer privacy, but the open format is more fun.

I accept that I have minority views, and perhaps I deserve to live shut up in an isolated community with other eccentrics like myself. But until I'm forced to do that, I'm a part of this society, and I believe in the freedom to pursue a lifestyle that makes me happy. And I believe there is a meaningful difference between the casual nudity I want to engage in (no matter if it might make some people uncomfortable sometimes) and the antisocial sort that's predicated on being a nuisance and a threat to the happiness and wellbeing of others. It's really quite simple: it's the difference between a naked person minding their own business, and a naked person minding your business. Once you start minding the naked person's business, you've become the nuisance.

When your body looks this good, it's a shame to cover it up.

I just hope it never comes down to being a matter of letting the courts decide. In my defense, I bend over backwards (in spite of how it may seem to those who have never experienced the daily drive that I feel to be naked as much as possible) to try to avoid the possibility of that ever happening. Yet of all the vices I could have, the tendency to want to strip naked isn't the worst one by far. And though saying this might make me sound insensitive to the concerns of others: really, the harm of seeing a naked person has been entirely overblown. In 99% of cases, it is minimal to non-existent - many reports even include positive reactions. If encountering a naked person makes you feel uncomfortable, the best thing you can do is strip down and join them - you'd be surprised at how good it feels!