Monday, June 8, 2015

"Super Hot"

My gender identity is somewhat at odds with my sexual orientation. If I were attracted to men, then I would have some incentive to transition and become a woman full-time. As it is, I'm attracted to women, and although my penis frequently gets in the way of me presenting as female, I kind of like the idea of using it to bring women pleasure.

It's a matter of statistics. The majority of the female population is attracted to men. A minority is attracted to women, and probably even less than that is attracted to a man who likes the idea of being a woman. I still get attention from women when I'm presenting as one, but I feel like it often involves checking out my clothes, or evaluating me as a rival for the attention of men (of which I get more than enough).

When I do get "clocked" as a man crossdressing as a woman, the female sex unanimously gives me more positive attention than males. Girls like sensitive guys who are interested in understanding the female experience, a lot more than guys like guys who "trick" them into checking them out by dressing like girls. And I really appreciate that. But it's completely different from a girl checking you out because she thinks you're hot, and wants to jump your bones.

Evolutionarily speaking, most women are going to be instinctively attracted to masculine characteristics. It's one thing to say that even when I'm wearing a dress, I'm still "really" a guy, and women are still going to be attracted to that. If men are responding to my sexual cues, though (even the straight ones, I mean), then I doubt I'm sending off the signals women are wired to respond to.

At the risk of stereotyping, women are typically going to be more attracted to things like muscles and facial/body hair, and clothes and activities that are culturally associated with men, and not dresses and long hair and smooth skin and painted nails and things like that. Not that there aren't exceptions, but they more frequently come à la carte, and the woman who likes a man fully presenting as a woman more than one looking all manly is going to be rare.

And that's one of my concerns about embracing my female gender identity, because I really like getting that kind of attention from the opposite sex. I've worried in the past about whether I'd get more attention from girls if I embraced my masculine side more, but I really enjoy (and prefer) being feminine. Nevertheless, my recent experiences building up a little bit of muscle tone, and jogging shirtless at a nearby park, have borne out my hypothesis.

Just the other day, I was coming around the trail, which circles a water park, and I spotted a hot girl in a bikini standing just inside the fence. I may have kinda checked her out, and then continued around the loop. Next time around, I see her hanging out by the fence with some friends, and when she sees me, she stands up in front of the fence, with her back to the pool, and unties her bikini top and flashes me! I hear one of her friends say, "I saw that guy yesterday," and then one of them shouts out, "guy in the black shorts, you're super hot!"

You know you're doing something right when teenage girls are flashing you just to get your attention. It makes all the effort I've put into exercising more and indulging less in junk food totally worth it. And if I were presenting as a female that day, I doubt that would have happened. Still, I'd hate to lose out on all the fun of getting dressed up in girly clothes - men's fashion is so dull. I guess I'll just have to stick to being bigendered, and reaping the advantages of both sides of the gender coin.

If I can play up my masculine cues to draw female attention, and then still indulge in female pleasures, then maybe that'll make women like me all the more! After all, when the one girl said she saw me yesterday, that must have meant she saw me in the hot pink swim shorts I was wearing shamelessly that day, which no manly man I know would be caught dead wearing in public. There are worthwhile advantages to being straight and non-homophobic, I tell you!

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