Wednesday, February 15, 2023

100 Nude Ideas (41-60)

This week I'm responding to Nude & Happy's 100 Nude Ideas ("to increase nude time and nudist friends") - illustrated with my own photography. Over 15 years of nudity, spread across five installments. It all starts here.


#41 Hang and display your nakation pictures.

I'm an art photographer, so nakation or not, I do hang naked pictures I've taken (of myself) in my house. I pick ones that aren't overly explicit, because they need to be appropriate for General Audiences. But they're unmistakably naked. I know there's a question of authenticity involved in advertising a version of nudism that shies away from full exposure, but you can do an awful lot with the power of suggestion, while minimizing the risk to yourself in a culture of gymnophobia. I think that's a worthwhile compromise.


#42 Be a naked model.

This is basically my job. Sitting in for a nude art drawing class is a well-worn cliché among aspiring nudists - I've toyed with the idea myself, though I never got around to trying it. I like posing for a camera, though. It may be less meditative, but it's more dynamic. I like art that reflects scenes you might actually encounter in the world (though they may be rare), more than the abstract - i.e., naked people in some sort of a context, over lifeless nude bodies in a studio.


#43 Have a naked Christmas.

Unfortunately, this wouldn't fly with the rest of my family, but I did manage to do it in 2020 during self-imposed quarantine. Nevertheless, I always find some time to hang out naked during the holidays. I like to decorate the house, set up the tree, and even wrap gifts naked. If there's snow, I might even shovel the walkway or build a snowman - wearing nothing but boots and a pair of gloves!


#44 Feature in a Spencer Tunick installation.

This is another nudist bucket list cliché, albeit for good reason. I'd love to do it myself, but I haven't had the opportunity. I imagine that with the amount of people involved, it would be an interesting experience. However, Spencer Tunick isn't the end-all be-all of the nude art world. Being involved in any kind of nude art project (besides my own) would be incredible. I haven't often modeled for other photographers, but I did feature in some promotional materials for a nudist resort once!


#45 Go to a naked bowling event.

I've heard about these. And I have only myself to blame for not ever having been to one. I guess bowling isn't really a priority activity for me. It's indoors. It's social. People will probably be drinking. And as far as sports go, I don't find bowling to be especially thrilling. I'm surprised karaoke isn't on this list - that's another activity I've heard of people doing naked that doesn't especially interest me. I'd just as soon go hiking through the woods looking for a waterfall to skinny dip in. I prefer outdoor adventures to hanging out inside.


#46 Allow only nakedness on your boat.

I would have to have a boat first. I've been naked on my kayak, but I don't think it really counts when it's just you, and especially not if you're not enforcing the rule when other people use it. I think a similar case applies to things like backyard pools - or my bedroom, where "nudity is required" as per the sign. As far as gently pushing people to step outside their comfort zone, it's a fun idea. But I think it loses some of its appeal in practice. I prefer a friendly recommendation to a strict mandate.


#47 Go skinny-dipping.

I've done this more times than I can count. Even if you exclude swimming in the pool at a nudist resort. One time, I slipped off my speedo while swimming with a bunch of college coeds after a game of beach volleyball, and they all followed suit. It sounds outrageous, but it's true! Mostly, I'll find opportunities away from prying eyes. I only regret that I don't know more people (not necessarily nudists) who can enjoy this activity without making it overtly sexual.


#48 Have a walk on a beach naked at night.

I've gotten close to doing this a couple of times. Once, while camping on the beach (but we weren't alone). And another time, I was walking with my family on the beach at night, and I stripped naked to take a quick dip in the water. I just don't get to the beach often enough. I've spent lots of time walking the streets at night, though, in the quaint suburban neighborhood in which I used to live. It was a good outlet - if risky - during a time when I didn't get a lot of opportunities to be naked outdoors. But I learned to hate motion sensing porch lights. These days, the proliferation of surveillance cameras has just about killed this once harmless activity.


#49 Open the door naked to a delivery.

I have not done this, although I have been tempted to greet religious proselytizers this way. Opinions vary a great deal on whether this practice is problematic or perfectly fine. I think the stakes are relatively low, but it does veer into "exhibitionist" territory. I don't believe people have a "right" not to be exposed to the human body, any more than they have the right to dictate another person's state of dress when greeting them at their own home. That said, we do live in a gymnophobic culture. I don't want to upset anyone, or get into trouble. And I wouldn't want my behavior to reflect poorly on nudism in the mind of an uninitiated outsider.


#50 Happy Nude Year!

I like to ring in every new year in the nude. So don't invite me to a New Year's party unless you're okay with me being naked. Actually, as an introvert, I don't mind staying in. But if you want to get me out, I could be swayed by the promise of an opportunity to finally go streaking, after all these years of fantasizing about it. Barring that, a clothes-free or even an ABC party might be fun. One way or another, there has to be nudity involved. Even that one time I celebrated downtown, I was naked underneath my winter coat. When the clock struck midnight, I flashed my partner, on the street in the middle of a crowd. I don't think anybody else noticed. You'd be surprised what you can get away with when everybody's attention is distracted by something else.


#51 Work from home naked.

I don't have a conventional employment history, but I do a lot of work at home on my computer on a daily basis, and there's no reason for me to be any more dressed than I usually am around the house - which is to say, not at all. If you're lucky enough to be able to work from home, this is really a no-brainer if you're a nudist. In my case, sometimes I get to work naked out of the house, too, but that's only because some of my work involves being naked on camera.


#52 Go to a costume party as Adam.

This is a perennial nudist favorite. I haven't exactly worn it to a party, but I have "dressed up" as Adam before (and Eve, for that matter) for a photoshoot. One of my unfinished sewing projects is to construct a flesh-toned g-string with an imitation fig leaf stitched to the front, for minimal coverage without risk of full exposure. I think it would make for a cheeky swimsuit, or it could double as an Adam costume.


#53 Meditate naked.

While I can appreciate Eastern mysticism, I've never gotten into the habit of meditation. It takes a lot to quiet my hyperactive mind. Nevertheless, I have multiple photos of me sitting naked in the lotus position, just because it makes for an interesting picture. One time, I even did it in the middle of a gurgling stream! At any rate, my "spirituality" (such as it is) encompasses being naked outdoors while reflecting on the beauty and the tranquility of nature. I think that's close enough.


#54 Buy a house or a caravan in a nudist resort.

What nudist hasn't thought about owning a place on the grounds of a nudist camp? I know I have. I feel like this is a significant step beyond membership, though. I like the idea of having a place I can go to where I can relax naked, close to the action, while not worrying about textile neighbors. I just wonder how I'd feel living in a place where I couldn't indulge my impulse to pull out my camera and pose for some photos. Maybe when I get older, this might be an option.


#55 Play video games naked.

How else would you play them? For a nudist, a lot of these items are just normal occurrences. I'm just waiting for virtual reality to get to a point where I can simulate the experience of being naked in public, without the risk. I'm pretty sure you can already hang out with people in a 3D pseudo-space, without anybody even having to know you're not dressed (if you don't want them to). As for nudity in video games, I definitely think there should be more. I'm the kind of player who searches for nude mods and outfits my heroes in the skimpiest armor available.


#56 Go to a naked sauna.

I don't think saunas are very popular around here - they're not that common. I have been naked in a sauna at a nudist resort, though. On those cold, rainy weekends, sometimes it's the only place where you can get comfortable. That is, if the temperature in the sauna isn't too hot.


#57 Go on a naked camping trip.

If you ask me, all camping trips should be clothing optional. Unless it's just too cold. You're out in the wilderness; you're roughing it. It's natural to get naked when you're surrounded by nature. I just wish this mentality was common enough that I would encounter other naked adventurers outdoors, and not feel like I'm the only one. Even on trips when I can't stay naked (due to proximity to other people), I'm always looking for an opportunity to slip away from the crowd. Of course, when you go camping on the grounds of a nudist resort, it's all nude, all the time!


#58 Chill with good music naked.

As I said before, like with many other items on this list, when you're a nudist, this just becomes second nature. I've spent many hours listening to music naked. I've even spent a lot of time practicing my guitar nude. I like to listen to classic rock and blues, but one of my favorite contemporary artists is Miley Cyrus. I like her music, but I also like her rock 'n' roll spirit, pro-LGBT politics, and sex-positive attitude. She has a reputation for being "scandalous", but she's a performer. I actually think she's pretty down-to-earth. And, like me, she's not afraid to show off her body. "I'm completely naked but I'm making it fashion."


#59 Get to a naked yoga class.

I'm intrigued by the popularity of this trend, especially inasmuch as non-nudists may be contributing to its success. I haven't been to a class, as I'm not really into yoga, but it seems like it would be a great learning experience for textiles - on the comfort, naturalness, and perhaps surprising non-sexuality of social nudity. If only this approach could be applied to other activities like sports, fitness, and hey - gymnastics!


#60 Invite your best friend to spend a day at your nudist club.

I think nudists are sometimes in the habit of deluding themselves about the likelihood of other people in their lives being interested in nudism. When you're a nudist, it seems like the most natural thing in the world. But to a textile, it's got to appear pretty crazy. Still, that's no reason not to make the offer. You never know for sure - until you ask. I wasn't brave enough to go to a nudist camp myself until I asked someone to come with me who said yes. We were immediate converts. Later on, I was able to get my brother to join me on a couple trips. He's open-minded and sympathetic to the appeal of nudism, but I don't think he's committed to the lifestyle the way I am.

(To be continued...)

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