Thursday, July 4, 2019

Swimming Equality



I couldn't possibly blame you if you thought I was shameless with regards to skin exposure - I've certainly outgrown the considerable amount of modesty I once had. But the truth is, I do sometimes get self-conscious walking around in skimpy swimsuits in public. Not because I don't enjoy it - after all, I do it because I enjoy it, and I fight for the freedom to do it because I want to be able to enjoy it even more. But because I genuinely don't want to cause any trouble or be a nuisance to anyone. (I'm just willing to do so in the course of standing up for what I believe in strongly).

Yet all it takes to reassure myself that my choice of attire isn't quite so beyond the pale after all is one glance at the way the women around me are dressed, even in perfectly G-rated, family-friendly environments. You could argue that, e.g., string bikinis are "inappropriate" swimwear (and I'm not talking about thongs, here - just regular bikinis), but as long as it is neither criminal nor uncommon for women to wear them, without being eyed suspiciously as potential sexual predators, then it is only fair for men to have the same freedom. #egalitarianism


And for the record, I'm willing to wear a bikini top for the sake of equality - in fact, sometimes I do, depending on the circumstances - until such time as women earn their deserved freedom to go topless in public (after which point we can all get started working on bottom freedom). It's just that, from a purely anatomical perspective, there's not much practical purpose for me to do so. And in certain contexts (e.g., a crowded pool vs. a spread out lake), I fear there would be an even greater outcry over the bulge in my bikini bottom. Which do you think is more scandalous: a man wearing a Speedo, or a man wearing a bikini? At least the former has some historical precedent.

Moreover, wearing a bikini top would increase the confusion (in myself as well as others) when it comes time to decide in which restroom to relieve myself, given how little fabric there is to cover certain rather revealing aspects of my anatomy (as opposed to when I'm fully dressed). As I said, I'm not trying to freak anybody out. I'm just trying to live my life as authentically as I know how, while pursuing the things that make me happy. If everybody else in this ostensibly free country could permit me the liberty to do so, that would be fantastic. You don't have to live the way I do. Just don't try to make me live the way you do. Okay?

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