Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

I like CFNM (clothed female, nude male). I also like CMNF (clothed male, nude female), as clichéd as that may be. And, of course, NMNF is always a blast. But it seems to me that much of the time, CFNM ties in with humiliation, often involving guys embarrassed by the size of their penis. Now, I can understand the erotic appeal of humiliation (at least in theory - or fantasy), but that's not what it's about for me.

I suppose it's more of a traditional exhibitionist thrill - being exposed in front of others - albeit with the conceptual twist that you're not the one actively exposing yourself, but are the victim of others wanting to expose you - you just happen to like it, which is not necessarily the anticipated response. I suppose it's a form of responsibility deferment (I'll have more to say about that in another post). If it's true that "you can't rape the willing", then it's similarly true that you can't violate an exhibitionist by exposing him.

If somebody is trying to expose you, then they are giving their consent to be exposed to. If, on the other hand, you elect to expose yourself to someone, you have to deal with the possible repercussions of that person not wanting to be exposed to (a not unlikely possibility) - or, at the very least, the added complication of obtaining their consent beforehand. Which can be a perfectly exciting part of the scene, but let's be honest, spontaneity can be fun, and sometimes you just want to cut to the chase.

What we are provided with, then, is the exciting (to an exhibitionist) prospect of being exposed, in a situation where the consent of all parties is implied; which lets us relax and enjoy the exposure without the nagging guilt in the back of our minds, instilled by a culture that preaches that exhibitionism is a harmful and selfish fetish. Not selfish in the sense of seeking self-satisfaction - as all fetishes pretty much do by definition - but in the sense of (allegedly) doing so at the expense of (and without regard to) the supposed harm it causes others. At least, according to stereotype.

If, on the other hand, you get off on the non-consent of either party, then you're welcome to interpret it that way, because it will still just be a harmless fantasy - which is where these kinds of desires are best satisfied.