Try This On For Size (Frustrations)

Come join me once again in the fitting room. It's easy! All you have to do is grab a few things off the racks, take them to the fitting room, and then get naked!

Okay, you'll probably want to keep your underwear on while trying on clothes. But don't let that stop you from stripping nude just to take a few pictures! Because how often do you get to do that while you're out shopping?

Now, let's try on some clothes!

This pink dress was just adorable, but, unfortunately - and not for the last time this day - it was kind of a little, shall we say, "transparent". It's too bad, because the lacy strip through the middle that shows off a little skin is super flirty. Now, if you ask me, wearing a dress that practically amounts to a "second skin" is kind of sexy in and of itself, but I really don't think those high-definition nipples and obvious bulge would go over very well among the general population, especially when I'm trying to go incognito. (I'd prefer not to have to go incognito, and just have everybody accept me as a beautiful man in a dress, without trying to pass as a girl, but society doesn't work that way...yet).

This thing here was something between a black dress, a trench coat, and a one-piece suit. I thought it might be an interesting and more feminine alternative (for formal occasions) to a women's-cut business suit, but the fact that I was more interested in what was underneath it doesn't bode well. In fairness, though, black outfits really don't photograph well in this light. (It's a good thing I'm so pale!).

Oh my god, this shirt-dress thing was so soft and comfortable! I could totally see myself lounging around in it like a pair of pajamas. Unfortunately, though, like the pink dress above, it leaves nothing to the imagination. I have very little "body dysphoria" directed at my genitals (they serve their purpose -_^), but if ever I've hated having a penis, it's when I'm trying on clothes designed for vagina-bearers. I loved this piece to death, but it just didn't make sense for me to buy it, because 1) I could never really wear it out, and I'm getting sick of filling my closet with beautiful things I can never actually wear (it's getting depressing), and 2) I would probably never wear it as pajamas or "just around the house" because - let's be honest, if I'm in a setting where I don't have to hide my penis, I'm not going to be wearing anything. So that's that. :-\

I'm still looking for that elusive perfect prom dress. Add this one to the long list of ones that just don't fit me. A shame, because I loved this one - the cut, the style, and my god, the color! It was more of a reddish orange (coral, really) than the pink it looks like in this picture, but regardless, it was beautiful. But I couldn't even zip it up all the way. By far, the number one issue I have with fancy dresses like this is that they don't fit around my [apparently] massive rib cage. Not that I don't have a thin enough waist, or wide enough hips, or even a chest that's too flat (although that one is often a problem, depending on the cut of the dress). No. It's my stupid ribs. Or in some cases, my wide shoulders. I swear to god, somebody needs to start a clothing line designed for men who like ultra-feminine, girly dresses and other clothing (including shoes! - my god, it's impossible to find cute shoes in my size; all the size twelves tend to be super-tacky - like, why? just because I have big feet doesn't mean they aren't cute!). A niche audience, perhaps, but one that's under-represented! Hell, I'd even volunteer to be the spokesmodel!

Anyway. Here are a couple more nudes - because, why not? Life can always be improved by a few more nude selfies. Don't forget to share!

See you next time!