Bare Scouts

In a recent post, I expressed some measure of wonder at the direction life has taken me - that I've become so enamored with wilderness recreation (provided there are opportunities for naked communion), despite quitting Boy Scouts when I was a kid. Consumed by fears and anxieties, I don't think I was capable of appreciating those activities - e.g., rock climbing, white water rafting - back then. But I feel like if I had a chance to redo it with the mindset I have now, I would enjoy it.

It's the same thing with sports. Although I'm not competitive by nature, visiting nudist camps has instilled in me a great love of playing volleyball, to the point that I find myself practicing alone, lamenting not having access to a league, or even a group of friends with similar interests. As someone who dreaded gym class in school, and always got picked last for teams, I was convinced I had no athletic talent - something that I no longer believe to be true. If only we weren't expected to figure things out so early. We throw all these activities at children, to help them find what they like, before they are even fully formed. But once you've grown up, you're expected to be set on your path. It's difficult to find opportunities without the momentum of having done it since you were young.

I had an idea while out hiking nude up a partially dry riverbed, and I can't decide if it's brilliant or bonkers. As you know, my enjoyment of wilderness recreation is largely incumbent on being able to mix in the feeling of being naked in the great outdoors. (Maybe I'm weird, but I think doing something naked makes it a lot more fun). What if there were an organization designed around just this sort of thing? You could call it... Bare Scouts! Of course, my first thought is that people would freak out, thinking it has something to do with mixing children and nudity. As a nudist, I want to state for the record that I see nothing wrong with kids engaging in nude recreation outdoors - provided they're supervised by responsible adults. But there's no reason this organization would necessarily have to involve children. I just think it would be fun to base it loosely on the scouting model. You could even design merit badges to be awarded to members for completing various activities naked in nature!

Let's brainstorm. First of all, in order to meet the requirements for a given merit badge, a supervising scout leader must sign off on it (photographic evidence is encouraged). All requirements must be performed completely naked - without shoes or any kind of cover up, unless otherwise indicated. Ideas for merit badges could include:

*hugging X number of trees of distinctive character;
*skinny dipping (with different badges for river, lake, and ocean);
*hiking and biking X number of miles (shoes and packs permitted);
*paddling a canoe or kayak (safety gear permitted);
*standing under a waterfall;
*performing a rock scramble;
*dancing in the rain;
*hiking by moonlight;
*setting up and striking camp;
*collecting firewood and tending a fire;
*campfire social (sitting around a campfire in a group, roasting marshmallows, telling ghost stories, etc.);
*animal sightings (with a checklist for different animals encountered);
*spelunking/cave exploring (safety gear permitted);
*taking in a scenic vista;
*cleaning up the environment (picking up trash);
*tending a garden (plant a tree, trim a shrub, water flowers, etc.);
*leaf peeping (collect a red, gold, and orange leaf on a single hike);
*cross-country skiing (boots, hats, and gloves permitted);
*answering the call of the wild...

Any more ideas? I know nudists are a minority, and there isn't nearly enough interest to support an organization like this (and that's to say nothing of the potential for bad actors to slip in and exploit the opportunity to turn it into something different - alas, we cannot have nice things), but doesn't it sound like fun?

Hunting Bare

I've spent a lot of time outdoors over the past four summers, in the wake of the pandemic-induced lockdowns of 2020. Two years ago, I published a series of nude-in-nature self-portraits titled Dendrophilia, which was the culmination of eight months (from March to November) I spent exploring the woods, posing naked with distinctive trees. Last year, I published a series titled Bare in the Woods, which saw me posing naked in a bear mask, alongside rivers, in caves, and climbing on rocks.

I don't want to condition you to expect a prominent nature series to be published every year come fall - especially because I could stand to take a hiatus and focus on my backlog, instead of generating more new content - but I do like having projects to work on beyond simply getting out into the wilderness and posing aimlessly in front of the camera. Not that that doesn't have its draw, but I do so much of it already.

This year's project was fairly spontaneous - I had had the idea in my head, but it was only on the spur of the moment that I decided to follow through with it - and represents a much smaller scale effort that I accomplished within just three excursions stretched across only a 10 day period. That said, I had fun shooting it, and I'm pretty happy with the results. I'll be glad to finally retire that bear mask - it's warm, and when I wear it, I can't see, or hear properly; which makes posing difficult, and also limits my ability to monitor the surroundings for approaching hikers.

I value any excuse to spend time naked in nature, especially when there's some purpose beyond that activity, like working on an art project. Although nude recreation should be its own justification (and it is), the rest of society often doesn't see it that way, and so it's a mental comfort to feel even a little bit legitimized by the work that I do. Plus, having a good concept raises my photography one small step above the "fine art nude", which itself suffers from frequent misinterpretation. To wit, it creates a framework through which to share my appreciation of the artistry of the human form, matter-of-factly, and yet with plausible distinction from the tasteless vulgarity that characterizes so much pornography.

Anyway, this is something of a sequel to Bare in the Woods. It pushes my cloning technique to the forefront - which is something that was under-represented in the previous series, and only sporadically featured in Dendrophilia before it - by adding a hunter. With a coonskin cap and a wooden replica rifle, he's something of a nude Davy Crockett. I tell you, I'm glad my "costumes" are so skimpy, because not only is it a chore to lug props through the wilderness, but it gets hot fast wearing anything when I'm running around shooting in the heat. But, they do add some welcome character to my clone shots.

I had no big plans for the narrative, but I was very excited that I was able to shoot a proper climax and conclusion - in the "bear cave", and then with a bear on the mantel above the fireplace in a cabin/pavilion (what a perfect spot!). It's only with luck and a little derring-do that I can shoot in the places I sometimes want to shoot. Opinions vary, but it's a risk I think is worth taking, all in the name of art. -_^

Hard Shadow

Despite how it looks, it bears noting that you can't actually see my erect penis in this image - just a spot on the ground where it has prevented the sunlight from reaching. Which begs the question, is it the organ that's indecent, or is it the idea that the organ represents? In which case, the offense is in your head, not in the picture. And those ideas aren't immutable. They are a product of conditioning. Can you imagine how frustrating it is for those of us innocents who are stuck living in a world that insists that our beautiful bodies, and the life-affirming pleasures they can generate, are an abomination to be scorned and hidden away? Why must we suffer, for the evil that's in your hearts? Pray, tell me. Because that's not what freedom looks like to me.

Inventory

I keep the photos I take in folders on my computer labeled by day, sorted into folders by month, and by year. I don't take pictures every day, but I do take them more days than not. Not all of it is self-portraits, of course, but that is my most frequent subject.

Anyway, I've started doing an inventory of all the content I've left unfinished (processing it for sharing) since the fall of 2021 (which is where I left off when Patreon committed its act of injustice against me). Even though all I'm doing is writing folder names down in a text document, as a sort of index to guide me to where there is still work to be done, just getting it organized has been enormously helpful to my headspace. It's no longer a jumbled mess of unidentified folders scattered across three years of photos - it's a neat list I can check off as I go along, getting the work done that's been ignored and piling up for years.

To think that, even now, I'm still recovering from the effects of the way Patreon treated me, and the impact it had on my health (both physically and mentally). If there were any cosmic justice in this universe... but I don't believe in that idealistic bullshit. I've seen too much to maintain such naive delusions. We inflict so much unnecessary suffering on each other, just because we're superstitious about sexual pleasure. I can see a better way; so why doesn't anybody listen to me?

Nevertheless, I'm still trucking along, leaving what impact I can on this world, in the vain hope that when it's all said and done, my having ever existed in the first place will have been worth it. I just wish I'd been born to a more promising species. One that deserved me, and had its shit together enough to recognize the potential in me, and the means to utilize my talents for the betterment of all. Because that's what I want to do. But all I see around me is regression, and the resentment of anyone who promotes progress. Humans are either dumb, or scum. And neither alternative inspires much confidence.

Addendum (2 days later): Much of the relief I felt has evaporated, now that I've completed the inventory and realize how much work there is to be done. Going back to October of 2021 (fully 3 years ago), which is when the backlog starts, there are approximately 200 separate folders (that is, days) worth of photos in various stages of incompletion. Some of these folders might have a handful of photos that need watermarks. A great many of them have multiple videos that need to be canvassed for screen caps - which is a tedious job. We're talking three summers' worth of outdoor recreation, among other things.

I should be glad I have enough content to guarantee posting will continue without undue interruption for years to come, even if I were to put down the camera and not take another shot from this day on (and we both know that's not going to happen). But the task ahead intimidates me, and I know I have a lot of great stuff that I'm excited to share - there's just so much of it that it's going to take a while to sort through it all. And heaven forbid I should have an accident or a medical emergency and miss the chance to release it to the public, or lose the use of my right arm due to excessive clicking and dragging (I'm not even kidding), before all is said and done. (Having anxiety means you frequently think about these sorts of things)...

Outdoorsman

Life takes us in strange directions sometimes. I wouldn't have thought, when I was younger, that I'd turn out to be an outdoorsman. I mean, I remember Cub Scout camp fondly, but I quit Boy Scouts within one week of leveling up - though probably on account of the social aspect. One thing I like about the wilderness is solitude. Having said that, I still find myself wishing I had some companions on the same wavelength as me (and who could keep up with me).

I have zero interest in hunting and fishing, which are so popular. I like to hike, bike, and kayak. But the greatest feeling in the world is hiking through the woods on a hot summer day (no cold weather adventures for me), finding a swimming hole to cool off in (even if it's just a tiny creek), and then drying out in the sun on a rock. And if I can do it naked, it feels a hundred times better. I know that might sound weird, but it's perfectly natural. Life's too short to deny ourselves these healthy, harmless pleasures, on account of some arbitrary societal taboo.

Workload

I have the will. I have the motivation. I have the attention span. I get up in the morning, and I'm prepared to sit at my desk all day processing photos. It needs to get done. I want to get it done. The backlog is only growing, never shrinking. But I can feel the nerve damage in my arm from too many hours at this computer. My mind's ready to work, but my body is shutting down. What can I do? If I push through it, the damage will get worse. If I put it off, I'm shirking my duties. If I switch to another part of the process - shooting photos rather than processing them - then I'm just sentencing myself to even more work in front of the computer later.

So much of what we do these days is at a computer. My side project (designing a video game) involves working at the computer. My other side project (hosting a blues/rock music log) involves working at the computer. My recreation (playing video games) involves sitting at the computer. Communicating with my family and friends online involves sitting at the computer. And I have to reserve my strength for the marathon task of designing a year-end photobook for my family (mostly not involving self-portraits), which takes up all of November. If I switch from one activity at the computer to another activity at the computer, it doesn't solve the problem. And if I hamper my ability to do one thing at the computer, it will affect everything else I need to do at the computer. I don't have sick leave. I don't have disability. I don't even have a real job, so if I don't hussle doubletime, it makes me feel like I'm not deserving of a paycheck, even though I don't actually get a paycheck (it's insidious how that psychology works).

I think I need to re-evaluate some things. Like why I'm killing myself for a hobby that doesn't pay commensurate to the work I put into it (I know the answer is that I'm passionate about it, but that's not going to keep me intact to continue doing it). I need to re-adjust my attitude about it, and start saying "fuck off" to the email notices that tell me how long it's been since my last upload, and demand (figuratively speaking) that the hosting platform start paying me before it's able to make those kinds of demands on my time. And I really should get a new computer chair, maybe even a new computer desk. It's just so hard to find a chair I like - I bought one the day the lockdowns commenced in March of 2020 (already four years ago), got it home, and didn't even like it. So I'm still sitting in a chair I've had for I don't even remember how long. And you have to match the chair height to the desk height, taking into account the position (and padding) of the arm rests - which aren't always adjustable. How does anyone do it? I'm not made of money, either...

Clones (Three Different Ones)

I just shot this image today. (This is what I do). I'd usually sit on it for months if not years before sharing (only because I've got so much else already in the queue), but I really liked it and wanted to show it off. Plus, it generated some thoughts in my head. Three thoughts - one for each clone depicted.

1) I feel like creating images like this one should earn me a free pass to walk around naked with immunity. "See - it's worth giving me this freedom. I'm making beautiful art!" Not only would I not have to sneak around - imagine the interesting images I could come up with in the city!

2) I know that asking my fans whether I'm a talented artist is preaching to the choir, but I can't really show off my best works to an impartial audience for evaluation, because the very subject of my art - nudity - is taboo! But I really want to be acknowledged, and told that my skill has improved (compare: my first clone shot from 16 years ago), and that there really is something to what I'm doing here. I mean, I already believe it. But I need the psychological reinforcement, from somebody who doesn't just think I'm hot (because - I'm sorry for the stereotype, but it's statistically true - perverts are known to be indiscriminate towards matters of artistic taste).

3) I feel like the images I create are more interesting (because they're novel) than the dime-a-dozen images of naked women you'll find in artist society. But people won't even give them a chance, because they're conditioned to view men's bodies in a certain, limited way. I started this journey with zero interest in the aesthetics of male nudity, but I've totally turned myself around. People are missing out on a wonderful new kind of beauty, because they're too narrow-minded. Maybe what I do helps in some small way. But change takes too long. I'll be rotting in my grave before I can see the fruits of my labors. What's the point of that? I mean, I'll still do it. But what kind of bumbling fool designed things this way?

"What a colossal, immortal blunderer! When you consider the opportunity and power He had to really do a job, and then look at the stupid, ugly little mess He made of it instead, His sheer incompetence is almost staggering."

- from Catch-22, by Joseph Heller