I Saw Her Standing There

Perhaps I shouldn't reveal my tricks, but I've always taken a hands-on, behind-the-scenes approach to my photography, because one of my goals as an artist (and an activist) is to enable other people to follow in my footsteps, and join me in the kind of work I do.

I actually stitched this shot together from three different shots. Two for the figure, and one to better expose the window (I've talked about the need to do this before). For the figure, I had one shot where I really liked the way my face looked, and another that featured my cock perfectly. Another thing I've discussed in the past is the unique challenge of photographing an erection. Let me tell you, a good model could hold a pose for hours, but a tumescent penis is constantly changing. So I decided to stitch the two together. I used all of the tools at my disposal - from my admittedly modest toolbox - layer masks, bandage, clone stamp. But I think it turned out well!

P.S. If you have any question as to how much the impressiveness of that erection has been manipulated, here's the original for comparison. I made only minor modifications to the figure - stitching, not enhancement. ;-)

Instagram Porn

(Sorry, no link)

Instagram likes the square format, right? I never could get into Instagram. Too mobile-biased. I guess that would make it pretty handy for sexting, but then I'm pretty sure Instagram has a relatively conservative user policy regarding erotic images. Seems like there are easier (and more liberal) platforms out there.

A Naturist Talks

Adapted from The Naturist Talks featured on Naked Wanderings.

These [mock] interviews are always fun (I've done them twice before - once to give sex advice from the perspective of a nudist, and once on the subject of common taboos). They have a little bit of the feeling of those old MySpace quizzes, where you get to talk about yourself and then share that information with others, but with a little more substance (since we all know how vapid those MySpace quizzes were), and the opportunity to spread awareness of an alternative lifestyle. So, without further ado, let's begin!

Tell us something about yourself.

Since I'm a bit of an "internet personality" (not saying I'm famous, but I do have a "brand"), I try to make an effort to guard a lot of the private details of my life that random strangers on the internet don't really need to know (without being excessively paranoid, I'd like to think). But I'll say that I'm in my early 30s, and live in the northeastern quadrant of the United States. I'm unconventional in a lot of ways; I live a largely reclusive lifestyle, and in addition to being a nudist, I am also transgender, and an erotic model and photographer. That last one, in particular, gives me a unique perspective on nudism, but while my views probably don't represent the majority of lifestylers (on the other hand, I am a genuine nudist, and not a swinger - not that there's anything wrong with that), I certainly think they're worth sharing.

How and at what age did you become a naturist?

As I've recounted on my blog before, I have memories of enjoying the illicit thrill of nudity going straight back to my childhood; although those opportunities were few and far between back then, and I didn't have the proper vocabulary to describe them, since I didn't know about nudism at the time. In my adolescence, those experiences merged seamlessly with my sexual awakening (because I didn't have anybody to tell me not to interpret those experiences in a sexual light, and they seemed no less taboo - not that I have any regrets about that). I don't know if this is how I developed my exhibitionist tendencies, or if those tendencies were what caused me to have those experiences. Regardless, it's interesting to note that, among other people, I was so reserved as a child that I didn't even like to wear sandals because I thought they were too revealing! (Sometimes people do change). On the other hand, maybe that's why I feel nudism is so liberating. You can just let it all go.

It wasn't until after I had graduated from college, when I heard some friends and acquaintances joking about going nude around the house, that I discovered that nudism was an actual thing. Then I got really curious, and did some research, and started going nude whenever I could - mostly in my room, or when I was home alone; occasionally, I would walk the streets late at night. That was when I started identifying as a nudist (mainly in anonymous online communities), but it was a couple years later that I finally found a sympathetic friend to join me on a visit to the nearest nudist camp. We both enjoyed it, and the rest is history. Now, I'm out and proud to all my friends and family on Facebook, and this is our eighth year in the social nude recreation scene!

Is naturism allowed in your country and what’s the public opinion?

I don't know how illuminating this answer will be considering that I live in the United States, but I'll answer it anyway. Nudism is generally permitted by law, albeit only on private (and isolated from public view) property. There are nude beaches, but they always seem to be in jeopardy, their existence riding largely on the momentum of tradition. Otherwise, public nudity is widely frowned upon, although you'll occasionally have protests like the World Naked Bike Ride, or a Spencer Tunick art installation, that tend to go off [mostly] without a hitch. But these are widely understood to be special exceptions, and do not reflect everyday attitudes. It's not illegal to be a nudist in this country, but it does tend to carry a social stigma; as a result, some nudists keep their lifestyle a secret for fear of losing friends, family, or their job (although the extent to which these fears are well-founded is uncertain - Americans are a neurotic bunch). Overall, I'd put us pretty high on the world index of naked freedom, but that doesn't mean we don't still have a lot of room to improve.

What do you think is the best and worst thing about naturism?

I suspect that my answer to this question will be controversial, because I'm not what you would call a conservative or traditional nudist. But I'm still going to be honest. I'd say the best thing about nudism is the occasional opportunity to see a beautiful person naked - in the flesh, as it were - the likes of which you rarely get to see even (or especially) given the sexually-saturated nature of our culture and media. The feeling of being naked and free is great, and runs a close second, but it's the hope for a chance to get that rare glimpse of heaven that got me hooked on the lifestyle once upon a time, and keeps me coming back year after year.

As for the worst thing about nudism, I'm going to say it's the community's allergic reaction to cameras. I understand why nudists shun cameras, but as a photographer, it makes me supremely sad to think about how hard it is to document the lifestyle (you'll notice that every picture I've used to illustrate this post was taken indoors, in spite of the fact that nudism thrives outdoors), and that so much beauty is being kept hidden away from the world because a lot of people are self-conscious about their image (despite how laid-back nudists are supposed to be) in this digital age.

And because I mentioned a second choice for the 'best' category, if there was a second worst thing about nudism, it would have to be the conspicuous lack of younger people. Sadly, nudism deserves its modern reputation as a refuge for aging retirees, when I would prefer it to be the pinnacle of health and fitness that I've seen in faded advertisements from ages past.

Do you consider yourself a naturist, a nudist or an occasional nudist?

You've probably noticed by now that in every question that uses the term "naturist", I've replaced it in my answer with "nudist". Much can be said about the subtle distinction between these terms, although practically speaking they amount to synonyms, one of them being more popular in Europe, and the other in the United States. I consider myself a naturist because a love and respect for nature is part of my enjoyment of being naked, but at the same time, I prefer the term "nudist" because it seems less pretentious. It doesn't try to hide the fact of nudity behind a distracting allusion, which actually seems contrary to the straightforward honesty that I like about this lifestyle.

Do you find it easy to make naturist friends?

Outside of nudist resorts, I find it very hard. But inside, it couldn't be easier. I don't have experience with a lot of different nudist destinations, but the experience I do have leads me to believe that nudists are typically very friendly people. Occasionally, they can be a little too friendly, but this is not usually the case. I am introverted, and very shy (in spite of my reputation online, perhaps), so I don't make friends very easily (although I have been generally liked throughout my life, possibly because I'm attractive). But after eight years, I feel as if the regulars at my nudist camp of choice are like another family to me, and they always seem genuinely happy to see me, even if sometimes I can't make it more than three or four weekends a year.

What’s the best tip you have for beginning naturists?

Just do it! There's a lot to learn from engaging in nude recreation - especially socially - and it'll widen your perspective of the world, but it's all stuff you can pick up on the fly. I understand that it can be nerve-racking to take that first skinny dip, but you'll thank yourself for doing it sooner rather than later. Nudism, in my experience, tends to be a very relaxed, welcoming environment, and all those things you're worrying about are really not that big a deal. (Yes, I am including erections). Be friendly, follow the rules, and you'll go far. And if you find out you don't like it after all, well that's one more thing you've learned about yourself!

Anything else you’d like to share with our audience?

I realize that I'm probably not the best advocate for body acceptance, and I probably give off mixed signals, but I'd like to stress that nudism is not about what you look like. You don't have to be "fit" or "attractive" to join in. Nudists are just average people. Most of them are not going to look like magazine models (and again, this is where I'm not such a great example for the lifestyle), and I can pretty much guarantee that whatever you look like, you will not feel unwelcome or out of place. Nudism is for every body. Working out to get to the beach is a part of textile culture; nudists don't care what size or shape you are. So don't wait to enjoy the benefits of the lifestyle just because you feel your body's not perfect. Nudism wants you to be naked and free right now!

Sexual Safety vs. Sexual Liberty

I hope you're not bored of me saying this yet, but I've just had a[nother] bit of an epiphany. (Hey, epiphanies are great things! They represent the crystallization of an understanding you've felt instinctively, but couldn't previously put explicitly into words). I've long been critical of the sex-positive movement, which adheres itself to feminism, despite my own sex-positive identity. This is because my personal definition of sex-positivity too frequently clashes with the attitudes I see expressed by "official" sex-positives. Case in point: the SexPositive subreddit lists near the top of its description two links to blatantly sex-negative articles (that don't even attempt to hide the fact that they are sex-negative) under the guise of being "sex critical". (In truth, the subreddit's header has more to say about sex-negativity than what sex-positivity actually is).

Maybe I've been biased by this one subreddit's curious choice of linkage, but then you have the widely applauded sex-positive feminist and Youtube vlogger Laci Green harping cringe-ily on the evils of "sexual objectification" (and why it's perfectly fine for women to do it to men). I'm sure there are some good strains within sex-positive feminism, especially as it stands in opposition to the kind of notorious feminists who denounce pornography, but I fear that, growing out of a very critical and fractured ideology, it may yet have too many ties to a very conservative and politically correct outlook, especially on the subject of sex. I am reminded of the debacle that was Atheism Plus - ostensibly a natural and admirable evolution of the atheist movement, by attaching a rational, nonreligious approach to issues of social justice. Yet, it quickly devolved into a hypersensitive echo chamber of trigger warnings and safe spaces, where no real authentic discourse (especially about sex) could take place.

Which is how I feel about this "sex-critical" approach to sex-positivity. It's not born out of a belief in the positive potential of human sexuality, but is rather infected by a politically correct culture of sexual abuse and trauma (like most of feminism). In its overzealous emphasis on the importance of consent (which - don't get me wrong, is of critical importance), it seeks to ally with religious conservatives in the battle to sweep sex back under the rug, and keep it out of the public conversation, lest anyone be "triggered" and have to relive a trauma they might have experienced. Whether intended or not, this conveniently sets up vanilla sex behind closed doors as the ideal (hence the religious' interest), and things like pornography and prostitution as contributing to people's sexual dysfunction (however untrue that may, in actuality, be).

It's a matter of prioritizing safety over liberty. The establishment position on sex-positivity is to view sex as a chaotic force, and try to encourage more positive experiences by mitigating the damage that it will inevitably do. It's a position that seems born of a sex-negative framework. Whereas I see sex-positivity not as a battle of attrition to raise ourselves out of the red, but as a drastic paradigm change built upon the foundational belief that sex, approached properly, can (and should) be a positive and uplifting force in our lives. Perhaps my perspective skews more towards idealism, but I have little patience for trying to fix the symptoms of a diseased society, when the only truly effective solution I can see is a complete overhaul.

tl;dr - I've encountered some sex-positives who are really just another iteration of faux-progressives - conservatives who self-identify as liberals, but want to control society to make it safer and therefore less free.

Permission to be kinky, sir?

If you're not familiar with Dr. Marty Klein, sex therapist and author of Sexual Intelligence, one of the few blogs I give my wholehearted recommendation to (see sidebar), he's one of the few members of the human species I know of who actually promotes a thoroughly healthy, rational, and sex-positive approach to human sexuality, cultivated through years of helping people through their various sexual issues and problems. As far as I'm concerned, he's one of the good guys, and there are far too few of those. I can't think of any time that I've come across anything he's said that I disagree with. I praised him on my blog once before, two and a half years ago.

Anyway, I was reading one of his excellent blogs, and I came upon a passage that really stood out and spoke to me. I'm going to pull it out of context (as such, try to ignore the fact that it's a sentence fragment), because the context isn't so important to the meaning it has for me:

"Giving yourself permission to...get aroused going braless in public"

When I read this, I realized that this is exactly what I'm seeking: permission to enjoy exhibitionism. I mean, I already enjoy it, but sometimes I feel guilty about it - because it hasn't yet been subsumed under the heading of "acceptable sexuality" (which tends to include only those acts that can be isolated to people's private bedrooms, a form of marginalization at odds with a more sex-positive approach that embraces sex as a potentially wholesome and shared element of society) - and that has a way of eating away at you over time.

Look, I'm not flashing people on the subway. I approach my interest in this sexual "diversion" with a rational concern for the concept of communal ethics. At the same time, I expect society to give me a little bit of leeway to enjoy myself (the pursuit of happiness and all that). It's a two-way street, and I expect something of a compromise. I curb my impulses to a reasonable degree, and society gives me some room to breathe. Because my goal is neither to commit any crimes, nor to become a social pariah. I just want to find a way to indulge myself, without having to feel like I'm doing something wrong.

My feelings of guilt are certainly exacerbated by things I read from both religious conservatives and faux-progressives, who feel that anything one does in public with a more or less sexual motivation is violating the "consent" (very loosely defined, and in opposition to the belief that a free country demands a public square that will be challenging, rather than comforting to its citizens) of unqueried strangers, even when it does not involve anything explicitly sexual (because we're talking mainly about mental stimulation, and not the physical kind, here).

As an example, suppose I want to wear a skimpy swimsuit to the pool that shows off a lot of my body, and then revel in the attention it brings me. You know, like it is acceptable and even expected for women to do. Not to make this an issue of sexist discrimination, but I think it's a relevant concern. Women are permitted to be sexual objects (however individual women may feel about this, especially feminists), while men who are in touch with their sexuality are more likely to be viewed as perverts or, worse yet, predators.

I'm not out to harm anybody. If your views run conservative, you may be somewhat offended by my choice of attire, especially if you haven't been exposed to very many men in this way. But it's not going to hurt you. And we live in a free country. Tell me why your sensitivity to exposed flesh is any more valuable than my belief that covering up is an affront to nature (and/or the god who created us this way, if that's something you believe in). You wear what you like, and I'll wear what I like. We may encounter each other in public, but neither one of us gets to dictate the other's choice of dress.

I feel justified in this stance, but I still want somebody to reassure me that what I'm doing is okay (because how else can I know that I'm not a lunatic with a warped sense of logic, who can't see how or why I'm wrong?) and that I'm not being insensitive and a menace to society because I refuse to repress my enjoyment in the sensual pleasures of life - keeping in mind what I said earlier about being reasonable and seeking a compromise; I'm not talking about adopting a philosophy of "if it feels good, do it". I just want to be given a break.

And I want us all to be happy and able to live together, by allowing each other our pursuits of pleasure, instead of insisting that everybody follow rigid rules of propriety catering to the sensibilities of the majority. I want society to tell me it's okay to be an exhibitionist; that there are acceptable outlets for my sexual desires; that I don't have to feel guilty about indulging them; and that I'm not skirting dangerously close (one dumb mistake away) to ending up on a sex offenders list.

I suppose I should take the fact that I haven't been hassled yet as evidence that I'm doing alright, although that's no guarantee of safety, and it could result in overconfidence, leading to potentially dangerous escalation. I want to feel like part of a legitimate community, not one associated with fringe acts of antisocial perversion. One that's built upon mutual understanding, and not a regimen of self-loathing. Because when you're isolated, in a minority of one, it's easy to fill up the space in your head with all the fears and anxieties your imagination can conjure.

Addendum: As a postscript, I could make a very similar argument about voyeurism as I've made about exhibitionism here, as regards the taking of pictures of strangers in public (this is where the compromise comes in - this is a legal act; we shouldn't disparage people for engaging in it just because they have a sexual motivation), a pretty harmless activity (note that this doesn't excuse stalking/undue harassment) that people tend to overreact to.

Outfit of the Day (#ootd)

I'm not generally one for excessive displays of patriotism (and being American hardly seems like something to be proud of these days), but I do enjoy dressing for a theme, and when it comes to the red, white, and blue, there are no shortage of outfits to choose from in this country during the summer. Nevertheless, I opted for my old standby - the American flag bikini - because how often do I get a chance to wear it? These pics were taken post-pool shower, and before fireworks in the park.

Myth - Nudity in National Parks

"Nudity is legal in national parks — little known fact"

Actually, this is a widely spread falsehood, based on the fact that "technically, federally owned U.S. Forest Service and BLM (Bureau of Land Management) land doesn't have any federal law banning public nudity". Yet, "each national forest, grassland, and all BLM lands honor state and county laws" (all this from the same article). Which means that nudity is no more or less legal in national parks than it is anywhere else. Which is to say: barely (if that).

That "BLM officials have said that they will take situations of public nudity on a case-by-case basis" doesn't provide much in the way of comfort for anyone wishing to engage in nude recreation on public land unmolested. That it's not strictly illegal is not the same as saying that it is legal, particularly when it can so easily be misconstrued (by a usually unsympathetic audience) as "indecency". The best advice I could give anyone determined to take the risk is not to get caught, for all that's worth.

As a result, holidays like "Nude Hiking Day" are very difficult to celebrate, even for those fervent adherents to the lifestyle. That's a cause that the nudist community ought to take up, for the benefit of every one of its members. And yet, one need only look at the treatment Stephen Gough (the "Naked Rambler") has received to find out how those who dare to stand up for their essential liberties are treated (sometimes even from within the nudist community, sadly).