Q: Thanks for taking the time to answer a few questions. Let's start with the issue of "clothing optional" versus "nude only" resorts. Do you have a preference?
A: As a die hard nudist, who prefers to be nude wherever and whenever possible, there are times when even I prefer to wear clothes. So I don't really see the problem with a "clothing optional" dress code. After all, it's a vast improvement over "textile only"! And it's more inclusive, right? On the other hand, I think nudists and would-be nudists sometimes need a little push, to maintain the proper environment of a nudist venue. What's nudism without naked bodies? It should be a soft push - not "disrobe or get out!" - but a push nonetheless. That's why I support having conditional rules, like "nude only" in the pool area, or in the sauna, or during sports competitions, weather-permitting. That way people can opt out if they're not feeling adventurous, but if they want the full experience, they'll have to join in.
Q: As any man who has ever considered engaging in nudism knows, the fear of getting an erection can be the source of much anxiety. How do you feel about nudists' approach toward erections?
A: The default policy among nudists on erections is to cover them up, but I'm not sure this is the best approach. Like nudity, arousal is a state of being, not doing. Sexual behavior is frowned upon in nudist contexts for legitimate reasons, but sometimes arousal occurs unexpectedly. Although it should not be encouraged, rushing to cover up just emphasizes the idea that there is something vulgar or shameful about the male genitalia in its engorged state. On the contrary, like flushed skin or hardened nipples, it is a natural and beautiful part of the human anatomy. So why hide it?
Q: Why, indeed. On the other hand, it could encourage a more sexually-charged atmosphere. Do you think nudists are too strict when it comes to the topic of sex?
A: Not necessarily. My views occupy a subtle middle ground. I think we should strive for a compromise between a sex-positive approach and a family-friendly atmosphere. I don't claim that will be easy, however. What I don't want to see is nudism being swallowed up by the swinger lifestyle. I believe that life is a sensual experience, and I think nudism is compatible with that view, but out-and-out sexual activity is another matter. When I engage in nude recreation, I want to relax with friends, and play outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air. I don't want to be propositioned by strangers looking for sexual encounters.
Q: I'm sure a lot of nudists feel the same way. You said that your view of life as "a sensual experience" is compatible with nudism. What's your opinion on exhibitionism?
A: To be perfectly honest, I am an exhibitionist. But before you jump to conclusions, I'd like to state that I don't regard the stereotype of the trench coat flasher with much esteem. I find the idea of "exposure" to be exciting, but not purely in a sexual way. Besides, even the fear of a negative reaction is enough to trigger anxiety. That's why I like nudism - I can be exposed in a welcoming atmosphere. That doesn't mean that I'm constantly aroused - 95% of the time I'm engaged in nude recreation, I'm not even thinking about exhibitionism. But if it adds a little spice to the experience, like the jalapeno on top of your burrito, then all the better. I'd be surprised if a large percentage of nudists weren't exhibitionists to at least some extent. As long as they're capable of behaving themselves, and following the rules against open sexual displays, where's the harm?
Q: I'm definitely getting the sense that you walk a fine line between what one may consider "conservative" and "progressive" views of the nudist lifestyle. Are you more likely to support beauty pageants or body acceptance?
A: I don't think beauty pageants are evil in and of themselves, but body acceptance is definitely important to the nudist ethos. I'm a person who appreciates the beauty of the human body, but I don't believe you need to be "beautiful" by anyone's standards in order to be happy, or to enjoy yourself, or just to be comfortable in your own skin. If you look good (or think you look good), that's a bonus, not a requirement for living. Nobody deserves to be criticized for their looks. Everybody has bad hair days - even supermodels - but that doesn't mean you have to give up on it being a good everything else day.
Q: I like that approach! We've talked about exhibitionism - how do you feel about voyeurism? Is it okay to look at people's bodies?
A: Sure! Witnessing the great variety of bodies people have is one of the hallmarks of the nudist experience. As long as you're polite - no staring or rude insults, and no sexual behavior or creepy come-ons - there's nothing wrong with looking. And occasionally you're bound to see something you like. That's one of the privileges of being a nudist. Being able to acknowledge the beauty of the human body is one of the things that separates nudists from the rest of the population. In the textile world, voyeurism is too often accompanied by an invasion of privacy, but nudists don't consider the sight of their naked bodies to be private in the same way.
Q: What about so-called "gawkers" - non-nudist outsiders who get a thrill from peeking at nudists? Nudists aren't generally kind to them getting an eyeful, are they?
A: No, not generally. Nudism isn't really a spectator sport - unless you're actually playing a spectator sport nude - and having people peering over the fence snickering at you is rude and uncomfortable. Those people deserve a stern warning. But otherwise, I think a lot of people are just really curious about nudism, even if they're not ready to try it themselves. Sometimes they respond in an immature way, but I think that can be part of the long process of acceptance. What the world needs is more exposure to nudism, not less. Except insofar as it protects us from very real external hostilities, I think it's time for nudism to go mainstream, and stop hiding itself behind tall fences in hidden compounds on the outskirts of nowhere.
Q: That's ambitious! Now, you said that nudists don't consider their bodies to be private, and that nudism needs more exposure. I'm curious what your opinion on photography in nudist venues is.
A: I said that nudists don't consider the sight of their naked bodies to be private, but even that is too often restricted to narrow contexts. Nudists seem to have an unholy fear of cameras. As a photographer, my opinion may not reflect the majority of nudists, but I think this is extremely unfortunate. The fact that there are a lot of unscrupulous voyeurs out there prevents me from photographing one of my favorite subjects - nude recreation. And it's ironic, because of all people, why should a nudist care if somebody snaps a picture of them naked?
Q: Right. Why do you think they care?
A: It's a complicated issue. Some nudists keep their lifestyle a secret, and are afraid that they would lose family, friends, or their job, if it should get out that they enjoy nude recreation. Frankly, I think the solution to this is for nudists to come out en masse. There are plenty of perfectly normal people in the population who are nudists - not freaks or fringe perverts - and the more the public realizes this, the less stigma people will be exposed to just for engaging in nudism. That more people would probably become interested in nudism as a result of its increased awareness is just a bonus!
Other people are concerned about anonymous perverts on the internet doing "unholy" things with their pictures. I don't know how to say this more delicately, but...who cares? Who does that hurt? To me, it seems to be nothing more than an extension of the puritanical mindset that envisions sex as a sin and a vice - that for somebody to experience pleasure from an unapproved source is unacceptable, and that we have a social responsibility to prevent that from happening. But if you ask me, if some anonymous stranger who I will almost certainly never meet - or even speak to! - happens to derive a little bit of enjoyment in what could quite likely be an otherwise dull and depressing life, just from viewing a picture of me, that's no skin off my back. More power to them.
Q: That's a noble - even humanitarian - perspective. But are there limits? What about children? Do you think it's acceptable to photograph children in nudist contexts?
A: I think it's important that we all take the necessary precautions to protect our children from the dangers that lurk out there in the "wilderness" of modern society. But I also think it's our responsibility not to take those precautions too far, to the point that they're doing more harm than good. Photographs do not capture people's souls. They're just images. And yet, it's become very rare to see depictions and advertisements of the nudist lifestyle that feature children. And I think this does a grave disservice to the lifestyle.
A lot of people question if nudism is appropriate for children, when the truth that any parent knows, is that children are literally born nudists. They have to be taught to wear clothes. People also frequently confuse nudism for an adult lifestyle. What are we telling the world when the only people who appear in nudist images are adults? We're giving them the impression that when we say nudism is "family-friendly", we're lying to them. And then when people do occasionally see an image of a child engaged in nudism, it's that much more alarming. I think nudists need to embrace nudist photography featuring children, to show the world that we have nothing to hide. Because nudism needs children - they're what's keeping it wholesome and pure.
Q: Thank you for your time. This has been a very enlightening discussion. I'm sure it will give me lots to think about over the next few days!
A: It was a pleasure!
Very nice Q&A! I really enjoyed it. I like how you brought some of the more interesting issues surrounding nudism out for discussion. Well done.
ReplyDeleteAlso, beautiful photo. I love both images of you, and the playful interaction between them. I also like your short shorts, and your cute flip flops matching your top, which bulges in all the right places, lol. Very pretty!
As mentioned, it was inspired by another article discussing some common nudist taboos (I threw in a couple of extra taboos that were missing, that I thought were worth discussing).
ReplyDeleteIf it's not obvious, this picture is a sequel to the one posted on this entry:
http://pleasuresarethese.blogspot.com/2015/06/if-you-cant-handle-me-in-nude.html
Thanks for the link. I had forgotten about that picture, but remembered it as soon as I saw it again. Were these two pictures taken at the same time? Are there other versions as well?
ReplyDeleteThanks again. I appreciate seeing the connection between the posts.
No, they were shot four months apart.
ReplyDeleteRegarding erections in nudist environments, I've come to change my mind about the oft-touted suggestion to cover it up. While it's true that it rarely happens, it happened to me the first few times I visited nude beaches and clubs in my late teens/early 20s. It's also happened to me a few times beyond that (albeit rarely).
ReplyDeleteThe biggest question for men who are considering exploring nudism is "what happens if I get an erection?" The standard response of "don't worry about it, if it happens we all understand that it's natural" conflicts with the inevitable next sentence "just cover it up".
It is a natural state of a healthy male body, and I don't think the standard philosophy of claiming so while also demanding that it be immediately covered up is healthy at all.
Nudists always seem to wonder where all the young people are, yet I think this dichotomy would just scare young men and teenagers away. Want to play volleyball? Who wants to run away mid-game if you happen to get an erection? Why even bother with visiting a nudist venue for the first time if you have to be constantly in fear of this?
I have no doubt it is hard for people to overcome a body-shaming culture, and break away for the first time. Yet I believe the erection policy of most non-sexual nudist venues is just another form of the body-shaming culture.
A much better policy would be "It's natural, don't worry about it". I think that would assuage a lot of fears first-time nudist men have.
Thanks for the comment, zuma! You're absolutely right, "don't worry about it", and "cover it up" are definitely conflicting messages. Nudists walk a hard line (pardon the pun - that wasn't intended) in keeping sex out of the lifestyle, and they have a tendency to err on the side of caution, even if that means giving some people anxiety, and pushing them away. I just wish we lived in a world where we could err on the side of freedom, and give people the benefit of the doubt.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think there's a bit of an anti-youth stance mixed in there, in spite of what nudists are always saying about "we need more young people" (I think it's a case of, as Dumbledore once said, the old forgetting what it's like to be young). They tend to cite the fact that only hormone-raging adolescents get random erections, but the problem with that is 1) it's not always true, some people are just more sensitive (or sensual) than others, and 2) even if that were true, are they /trying/ to scare adolescents away? That's the demographic most poorly represented in nudism, and yet it's the one most in need of a positive message about body acceptance! Just because most nudists are old men, a statistical majority overweight without much to "show", doesn't mean that the issue of erections can be written off as a non-issue.
Now, I think it's worth mentioning to prospective nudists, who have never hung out with other people in the nude before, that the situation is not nearly as sexually stimulating as one may think. (Sometimes, when trying to avoid getting excited for whatever reason, people joke about imagining their grandparents in the nude - well, more often than not, in a nudist situation, you don't have to use your imagination). That may allay some of their fears. Though only some. I definitely think a more relaxed attitude toward erections would generally be a good thing, provided it's understood by all involved that it's not an open door for total sexual abandon.
I was worried, but I was surprised to find that arousal never even came into the picture what-so-ever during my first nudist experiences, even with lots of attractive naked people around. In fact in the heat of the sun I started to cover up my willy with my towel because I was afraid of sunburn (and I felt like rubbing my genitals with sunscreen might send the wrong message!) but then I realized to my horror... people might think I'm hiding an erection! So I ended up with sort of the opposite fear.
ReplyDeleteAs far as youth and nudism go, I'm not sure how to solve that problem. But when I was 18-21 I definitely felt that nudism was too stuffy, too square for me. Whether right or wrong, the impression I got was that they were overly anti-sex and it turned me off about it. Like, the insinuation that not only should you (of course) not have sex in public areas, but that you shouldn't do it in your private tent either. Like, come on, you're not going to get 20 year olds to go on a vacation where there is zero chance of sex! I certainly understand why they have to have these rules and concepts, and those reasons are perfectly sound. But I also understand why young people are turned off by the attitude.
Thanks for your input! That's funny that using your towel to cover up actually began to induce some anxiety of its own! I can sympathize with your concerns about giving your private areas proper protection from the sun. It's really unavoidable not to have concerns about doing that. I've just gradually come to the conclusion (after a couple experiences having overcooked my sausage and eggs) that it's something that needs to be done, and if somebody gets in a tizzy about that, it's their problem, not mine. I just have to make sure that I maintain the appropriate concentration and don't make the mistake of enjoying the sensual feeling of oiling my body *too* much - again, another way that the erection taboo reduces the pleasure potential of nudism for men.
ReplyDeleteAs for the youth problem, I don't think the camping/resort lifestyle will ever be for them - although hosting events like music festivals and sports competitions helps. It's just something that old people seem more likely to do, or families with little kids - not teens or young adults. If ever nudism is going to break into the youth demographic - and I'd love to see that happen - I think it will be via a wider acceptance of nudism in the culture at large, enabling the lifestyle's practice at public pools, beaches, parks, and private home affairs the nation (or world) over. And that can only come from a lessening of the great taboo on nudity (sure, it's fun, but there's still all this stigma associated with it). In other words, big changes are going to need to be made. But I'm committed to that already.
You know, it just occurs to me now reading your reply, but I actually think there's a large swath of young people who would be very interested in trying nudism. I keep up with a lot of pop culture youtube channels and there's a huge movement right now body-positivity and also one about the double standard over female nipples. One very beautiful host even went on for about 5 minutes about how if you own you live alone, you need to spend as much time as possible in the nude, because apparently she just loves being nude, and it helps you with your body confidence.
ReplyDeleteSo there might well be a youthful demographic who would want to try nudism as a body positive experience. Camping may not be there thing... but I wonder what other events they might like to try. Music festivals would be a possibility. Miley Cyrus could start a yearly nude festival or a nude venue or something. 'Course she herself probably isn't a huge nudist per se', she's just body positive. And that's why that gap between the two needs to be bridged!
You know, it just occurs to me now reading your reply, but I actually think there's a large swath of young people who would be very interested in trying nudism. I keep up with a lot of pop culture youtube channels and there's a huge movement right now body-positivity and also one about the double standard over female nipples. One very beautiful host even went on for about 5 minutes about how if you own you live alone, you need to spend as much time as possible in the nude, because apparently she just loves being nude, and it helps you with your body confidence.
ReplyDeleteSo there might well be a youthful demographic who would want to try nudism as a body positive experience. Camping may not be there thing... but I wonder what other events they might like to try. Music festivals would be a possibility. Miley Cyrus could start a yearly nude festival or a nude venue or something. 'Course she herself probably isn't a huge nudist per se', she's just body positive. And that's why that gap between the two needs to be bridged!
That sounds promising!
ReplyDeleteI think there are probably a lot of people - including young people - who are either nudists and don't realize it, or would be open to practicing nudism. They just don't necessarily contextualize it as "the nudist lifestyle", which is, perhaps, represented in popular culture by outdated images of hippie communes, European beaches, and swinger's clubs (probably not the kind of "sexy" young people are looking for). But give 'em a naked bike ride, or a drunken game of Twister, and the clothes come off! Like dressing as sluts for Halloween, I think these people just need an excuse to let their guard down - a justification for indulging in the more pleasurable side of life without worrying about the inevitable taboo and stigma that daytime society shoves down your throat (naked picture on the internet? YOUR LIFE IS RUINED!). They need someone credible to tell them it's okay. Otherwise, you get the inevitable reaction that relies on stereotypes and cliches - "it's always the people you *don't* wanna see naked", or "isn't that kind of unsanitary?".