Thursday, November 30, 2023

Obsessed With Nudity

"Am I obsessed with you?
I do my best not to want you.
But I do all the time - want you all the time."


These lyrics are from Obsessed - one of my favorite deep cuts by Miley Cyrus (who also sang, more recently, "I'm completely naked but I'm making it fashion"), from the same EP that gave us Party in the USA.

I don't know why I'm so obsessed with nudity. If I think about it rationally, I probably wouldn't even be that thrilled about a world where public nudity is mainstream, just on account of the fact that most people aren't that great to look at. And if the typical nudist mindset is any indication, it may well be the case (at least on a statistical level) that people who are more attractive will cover up to avoid attention, while the ones who do undress will be the type who don't give a damn about appearances. I hate to give voice to a common nudist myth ("it's never the ones you want to see naked..."), but we are talking about my fears and anxieties here. And on that subject, not everyone is as meticulous about hygiene as I am...

But when I think about it emotionally, there is 1) that apparition of beauty that haunts me, causing me to envision a nudist utopia where everybody is beautiful, coupled with 2) the simple knowledge of the sensation of how great it feels to be naked and exposed, indoors and out. The former is basically voyeurism, and the latter borders uncomfortably on exhibitionism. Which begs the question, why are "pure" nudists even that invested in nudism, if the more you "like" nudity, the more of a pervert you must be? And would I be so invested in it, if I weren't such a beautiful creature to begin with, that I get to look at in the mirror on a daily basis?

Please don't make me cover this up!

Certainly, there's nothing wrong with having a fantasy in my head of a world filled with naked supermodels, but am I crazy to try to apply my desire for that to the real world? Am I opening a door expecting models to flood out, when really there are just "average" people waiting on the other side? Would I really like going out in public naked, hanging out with friends and family, only to discover (and I'm just speculating here) that my enjoyment of nudity has a fundamental sexual component? How awkward that would be! (In my defense, I have demonstrated not only an interest in nonsexual social nudism, but the ability to engage in it without incident).

In the meantime, the concept still thrills me, and if nothing else, it's something that gives me joy to explore - partly in my head, but also partly out in a section of the real world, mostly isolated from others. And isn't that just how tribes gather and practice their interests? Do I need nudism to be mainstream, or is it that what I really need is just more nudist friends? It's lonely being the only person you know in any meaningful radius that has any kind of dedication to a lifestyle that your identity is suffused with. I can't just sign up for the local nudist league, because there isn't one!

I tried creating my own, but the only person that showed up was me.

And what if nudists aren't the right people, after all? What of the potential erotic component? I'm not looking for hookups or sexual partners or to engage in any orgies. But if there's a little bit of a naughty edge to the proceedings, I don't want to be ostracized for it. But I also probably don't want to share that with just anyone - it has to be someone I like and trust and am comfortable being around, yet probably also someone who isn't looking to have a sexual relationship with me, and won't feel that they're being "led on" - why does it have to be so complicated?!

Honestly, I had a lot of hope for the community of artists I was interacting with online a couple of summers ago. These were people who not only understood the artistic drive, but were experienced working with nudity, accepting of the erotic arts, yet still (as far as I can gauge) respecting of personal boundaries. (Also, they weren't people who were already drooling over my body). These are the kind of people I want to hang out with. To collaborate with. But they're scattered, and preoccupied with modern trends I don't follow, and I don't have the people skills OR possibly even the artistic pedigree (that's a matter of opinion, but I don't think I'm the most unbiased person to ask) to demand their time or attention (let alone being valuable enough to have them demanding mine), and not simply be a desperate hanger-on.

But I am desperate. And at this point, I'm just hanging on.

Not to end on a depressing note, but I'm going to end on a depressing note. It seems to me that the only way I can get anyone interested in me as a person, or in the workings of my beautiful mind, is if I can first get them addicted to my body. Is my obsession with naked beauty a distraction from what else I have to offer? Am I doing myself a disservice by focusing on it to the exclusion of other things? But I do genuinely value it, and I don't want to have to jettison that aspect of my passions. And frankly, I'm afraid to dump the one part of me that has the tiniest bit of traction, for fear of being trapped in an empty auditorium, my words echoing off the walls, as I stand there listening to myself talk.

It's not that I don't have confidence in what I have to offer - my position may not be very relatable, but I think I have a very insightful perspective to share with the world. But if I put myself out there time and time again, only to be greeted by none other than my dear old friend, the crickets - at a certain point I have to start wondering if the problem is me. Am I just not that interesting? Or am I operating on a level beyond what most people are capable of perceiving? And if so, why do I even exist? What's my purpose? Because it's definitely not to lead a conventional lifestyle - being a mindless breeder worker bee. I have human desires, but I lack normal human abilities. My life is a cosmic joke.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Birthday Suit Prompt

So, I watched the Purge movies this past Halloween, and I think the idea of a holiday where crime is legal is a fascinating thought experiment. But the movies are unfortunately preoccupied with violence, when there is so much more you could do with the idea, especially on the subject of "consensual crime".

Now, I've had this thought for a while, but every year around my birthday I think about how I want to spend it in my birthday suit, and how it feels unjust that I can't go to my own birthday party without covering up (and if I'm just spending the day naked at home alone, then how is that any different from a regular day?). And this year it led me to hammer out what I think would be an intriguing writing prompt.

Maybe this would never work in a million years in the real world, but I think it would make for some pretty interesting stories, that could explore various facets - both positive and negative - of a world not terribly unlike our own, being exposed to public nudity (without being completely inundated with it, which would take us even further from reality). Here it is:

Writing Prompt: The government passes new legislation defending every citizen's freedom to go nude in public on the annual date of their birthday (as confirmed by official ID). All other laws remain in effect (including restrictions on public displays of sexuality), except those which would render it a crime to simply be undressed (e.g., indecency, harassment, etc. require offending behavior above and beyond mere exposure of the genitals). Businesses cannot restrict access or otherwise engage in discrimination based solely upon a person's state of dress. Jobs that require special equipment or uniforms for reasons of health or safety must provide alternate provisions, such as paid time off.

For this prompt, I would expect writers to explore what would happen in the wake of the passing of this new law. What pitfalls, expected or unexpected, might result? Who would take advantage of this new freedom? Would you? And what would that look like? Would some people end up getting themselves into trouble? What kind of longterm effects would this experiment have on society? Would public nudity eventually be completely normalized, or would citizens rally together and overturn this new law? Optionally, you might choose to consider what conditions led to the passing of the birthday suit law. Was it a groundswell of public opinion? A libertarian experiment? Or a nudist candidate imposing a "tyranny of the minority"?

I wish I myself had more experience writing stories. I love to pose hypothetical thought experiments like this one, but I always get boggled down in details - so many people would approach the situation so differently, it's impossible to predict what kind of effect it would have at any kind of scale. And how do you reconcile a premise that contradicts reality (e.g., a society that will defend by law a person's right to be naked in public on their birthday, but still considers it a heinous crime to do the same thing any other time). I dunno, I might try writing one anyway. Just for fun.

Friday, November 24, 2023

Sex Will Prevail

Civilized society tries to hide this fact - and it does a pretty remarkable job considering the sheer force it's up against - but human beings and living organisms in general are pervasively sexual, by design. It's our prime directive. And it's stupidly simple, but covering up our bodies actually does provide some measure of distraction from the thing our bodies are meant to do above all else. Nudists therefore have - and will ALWAYS have - a problem normalizing nudity, without it being taken over by simple-minded flesh bags who just want to fuck. (Especially online, where it's harder to control the flow of media and police people's behaviors and intentions). And it's going to be counterintuitively worse, the more restrictive of sexual expression our society is. (And, in spite of our immutable instincts, society is pretty damned restrictive right now). This is natural law, and predictable human behavior.

We can go a lot of different directions from this point, but we're not going to get anywhere without acknowledging that this is where we start. Furthermore, any social movement that seeks to metaphorically (one hopes that is all) castrate mankind's sexuality is going to run up against considerable obstacle - as it should. I'm not sure there is any reward that is worth sacrificing sex on a community-wide level. If nothing else, the very evolutionary process of natural selection will ensure its extinction within a single generation. Feel free to disregard this advice at your own peril.

Like, I can't get over the cosmic joke that is the shame and stigma we place around what is simply nature's way of making us feel good so we'll be incentivized to propagate the species, which is the one thing ensuring our continued existence beyond the temporary survival of any single organism's lifespan. Yeah, it's really important; so I understand the meaning and significance and ritual we attach to it, but why so much judgment and loathing (of both the self and others)? And what's with the absolute contradiction whereby religion deifies procreation ("be fruitful and multiply" crossed with the utter abolition of contraceptive methods and practices) while simultaneously demonizing the recreation that accompanies it? It's fundamentally Puritanical. Why is suffering divine and pleasure evil? Why must we hate what we undeniably are?

Monday, November 20, 2023

Holy Nudism

or Nudism, Religion, and Politics

While certainly (and demonstrably) NOT a requirement for participation in the lifestyle, I do believe that nudism is excellently poised to dovetail with spirituality. While to some, nudism may be little more than an elaborate dedication to "party naked", for a vast many lifestylers, their approach and attitude toward a confident revelation (as opposed to ashamed obfuscation) of the human body borders on religious devotion.

I may be biased, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I'm a person who thinks that nothing brings you closer to God (whatever that means to you) in this life than enjoying the great outdoors without a stitch of clothing on. We all have to believe in something larger than ourselves. And, as an atheist, I'll make the caveat that those beliefs don't have to contradict a scientific understanding of reality. The universe is vast, and we are but a small part of it - reveling in the dizzying sense of its enormity, and our connection to the infinite, need not require ascribing sentience or meaning beyond what we have the power to ascertain through our gifted yet limited intellect.


With all this in mind, I want to say: the fact that there are Christian naturists, and that the religion isn't de facto incompatible with nudism (it wasn't God, but the serpent's influence that led Adam and Eve to cover up - yet somehow we have forgotten this), doesn't absolve the culture of Christianity for the responsibility it bears in demonizing the human body and its public exposure. No Biblical fact or personal anecdote ("But I'm a good Christian!") can balance the sheer weight of pressure that is driven, without exception in the social and political landscape, by complaints lodged and campaigns levied by zealous and fear-mongering religious conservatives.


As a parallel example, just because I still believe in the promise of America, and the values this country was (ostensibly) founded on, doesn't mean I can just erase all the bad things that America currently (and historically) stands for. To me, true patriotism in this day and age embodies the responsibility to call out the culture of toxic patriotism that runs counter to the principles of liberty, justice, and equality. Although I believe in what America is supposed to stand for, I'm not going to fly a flag on my front porch, because right now it symbolizes a lot of things I don't support.

Similarly, if you are a "true" Christian today, you shouldn't be proud of the legacy your religion is laying down. Your foremost responsibility should be to call out the church's corruption, not to praise the gospel. If you turn a blind eye to what is going on all around you, you are part of the problem. It doesn't matter how much you narrow your focus on what you believe are the good aspects of your religion. If you're letting others rampage across the countryside in the name of your God, and your primary instinct isn't to stand up and speak out against it (loudly and with regularity), then you are just as responsible as they are for the sins your church is committing. Because these campaigns wouldn't be popular if those complaints weren't perceived to be representative of the concerns of the national congregation. If Christianity truly were a positive influence on society, it wouldn't permit itself to exist in the form it's currently in.

Saturday, November 18, 2023

In Search of a Nudist Anime Character

Introduction

For obvious reasons, nude scenes are not entirely uncommon in entertainment media, but they are often played for titillation (if not just for laughs). Some nudists object to this portrayal, citing their concern that pop culture is contributing to the "sexualization" of nudity - which makes nonsexual nudism a progressively more foreign concept, and thus less likely for mainstream populations to permit. As somebody who enjoys nudity both for its nonsexual as well as its sexual qualities, these scenes don't typically bother me - in fact, I quite enjoy them. However, it is nice to see nonsexual nudism represented in fiction as well. Since there are so few truly nudist characters out there, my ears always perk up when I hear about one. That's what led me to recently sit down and watch Waiting in the Summer (romanized Japanese title: ano natsu de matteru).

Out of all forms of popular media, Japanese anime is one that has a prolific tendency to sexualize its characters (especially women, a notable portion of which are fairly young in age), for which it sometimes receives criticism. As a sex-positive progressive, I'm not concerned by the acknowledgement of human sexuality (even among youth) present in these stories; rather I am more concerned by the stilted way in which sexual feelings and relationships are often addressed by a culture that, while having a demonstrably creative sexual imagination (which I champion!), often still manages to express a considerable level of shame and repression through its fiction, which may act as an outlet for desires unfulfilled.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to put Japan on the therapist's couch here. Nor is this meant to be an academic study of the sexual health and politics of a country I don't even live in. It's just an observation I've had as a longtime fan of the culture, and of the media it puts out into the world. To continue to my intended point, while explicit nudity in anime is rare (outside of the pornographic subgenre referred to as hentai), so-called "fan service" is quite common. These are scenes where characters are either scantily dressed, or involved in sexually suggestive poses or situations (sometimes humorously misconstrued by other characters as such, or otherwise accompanied by a metaphorical wink and nod to the viewer), for no other reason than to appeal to a prurient interest.


Which, again, I have no problem with. But given that this is the general temperature of the medium, and that I'm not aware of the counterculture of nudism having a significant foothold in Japan*, it's fair to say that this is not where I would expect to find a lot of good representations of the lifestyle. Nevertheless, when one does crop up, it may be quite notable. Kill la Kill is the most prominent example of a series I can think of where anti-textilism is a major theme, albeit in a highly sensationalized manner. In the story, an armed resistance group called Nudist Beach fights aliens who come in the form of clothing, and one of the main antagonists is a grand couturier.

The last occurrence of an ostensibly nudist character I encountered in anime turned out to be a brief digression in a series dripping with fan service. Titled Eromanga-sensei, it lies deeply entrenched in the realm of eyebrow-raising anime premises: a teenage boy discovers that his shut-in of a little sister is actually a minor celebrity in the online world of erotic manga. In one of the show's more relatable moments, a character is caught unawares while lounging naked at home alone. Regardless of the artist's intent in drawing this scene, in attempting to explain her actions, the character manages an effective defense of nudism - even if you'd prefer to take it out of the context of the rest of the series.


*[On the subject of social nudity in Japan (as I know it), there is a cultural history of using hot springs and public bath houses, but as far as I am aware, these are typically segregated by gender, and the nudity is fairly well contained to the activity of "bathing" (or soaking), and does not, to my knowledge, usually spill out beyond that; also, the practice of "skinship", in which a mother and child engage in unimpeded skin-to-skin contact for reasons of health and bonding, once again does not seem to translate to a generally open attitude toward nudity outside of the bounds of such parental intimacy, early in the life of a child, before it has broadened its social life outside of the home.]

First Impressions

The very broad premise of Waiting in the Summer is that an alien crash lands in the Japanese countryside, disguises itself as a teenage girl (or conveniently already looks like one), and befriends a group of high school students working on an amateur film project over the summer. It's a bit like E.T. meets Dawson's Creek. From the start of the series, it's not readily apparent who the nudist character is going to be (to the point that I had to wonder if I'd got the name of the right series). My best guess was that it would be the alien character, who is unfamiliar with Earth customs. But she expresses genuine anxiety about fitting in with human culture, and it seems like any kind of stubborn adherence to a nudist outlook would be a hindrance to that goal.

The second episode almost certainly reveals the answer, but in a very understated manner. In a scene where the various characters are engaged in a "game" of phone tag, one of the characters is standing in her bedroom on the phone completely naked (albeit holding a large stuffed animal to obscure much of the view), which by itself is pretty unusual. There is no explanation - not even an acknowledgment of the character's state of dress (after all, she is alone in the room), and the scene is very short. It's just there, and then it's gone.


In the same episode there are scenes of deliberate fan service, in which the alien girl comes out of the shower barely dressed, and through a combination of anime logic and physics, ends up pressing her bare breasts into the main protagonist's face (he is, of course, unconscious at the time). In this light, the fact that the earlier scene was glossed over and not played for titillation becomes rather conspicuous.

As further evidence, in the following episode, the character in question seems pointedly rattled when a breeze threatens to blow up her skirt. Granted, it's not unusual for a teenage girl in a short skirt to worry about flashing her underwear, but the subtle suggestion that she's not wearing any is another example of this show's rare blink-and-you'll-miss-it approach to nudism.

The most curious thing about the character who turned out to be the nudist is the fact that I would not have guessed it would be her. She's excessively shy, and modest about her body. When volunteered to feature on camera in the amateur film, she expresses visible apprehension. At swim class, everyone else is hanging out in their swimsuits, and she's wearing a baggy overshirt.

On the one hand, I'm sure nudists at large would appreciate that she's not being stereotyped as an exhibitionist, which is a common misinterpretation of the lifestyle. Even as an exhibitionist myself, I can understand that. It's more beneficial (and more novel) to depict a nudist character who is not interested in showing off at every opportunity. That said, there's a point at which extreme insecurity contradicts her characterization as a nudist. I don't need the character to be obnoxious about showing off her body, but I would like to see some expression of the "it's just a body, who cares?" mentality that characterizes nudism.

Second Thoughts

After writing the above, I had an epiphany that improves my impression of this series' representation of a nudist character. I realized that I'm talking from the bias of having years of nudist experience. This character probably hasn't been exposed to the "institution" of nudism like I have. I doubt she's had contact with the lifestyle, and been introduced to its fundamental tenets. I doubt her family are even nudists. This may not be the fantasy of nudism I was looking for; but it's actually more realistic that she remains "closeted" among her friends.

And the fact is, I used to be just like her. I used to be a teenager with no knowledge of nudism, who nevertheless liked to take my clothes off in private. I had to keep it a secret because I didn't know anybody else like me, and it was a taboo subject. And you know what? I was pretty self-conscious about my body at that time, too. It wasn't until I had a lot of experience being naked in front of other people (first as an internet model, and later as a social nudist) that I gained the confidence I have now. This character isn't a lifestyler. She's a secret naturist!

Or so I thought.

Further Developments

I'm not going to spoil how the story ends - frankly, I don't need to do that in order to talk about its portrayal of nudism, which is a very minor subplot. But as it was the most interesting aspect of the series (to me), you might want to stop reading now if that's something you want to discover for yourself.

The truth is, I didn't find myself very much invested in the characters or anything else that was going on. Other than being used as an engine to drive the plot towards a climax, the sci-fi elements take a backseat to the romance, which only barely rises above the genre's frustrating clichés - mostly in the second half when everyone's feelings are laid bare, and we get to see how they all deal with the fallout.

Notably, it was the nudism element - however small - that kept me intrigued enough to keep watching, just to see how they would handle it. I may have minority interests, but it seems to me that there are real stories out there that haven't been told, that would be more engaging than a silly plot about a teenager falling in love with an alien.


So, how does the nudism theme unfold in later episodes? While fighting over a boy, the nudist girl's tendency to not wear underwear is revealed. When her rival accuses her of being an exhibitionist, she defends herself by making a confession. Not only does she identify as a nudist (teaching me a new Japanese word), but she actually comes from a nudist family after all. (Honestly, I didn't know there were any nudist families in Japan). She didn't realize her upbringing was unusual until she started school, at which point she understandably hid her nudism from her peers in order to avoid being teased. (Realistically, I think this is the point when most kids raised in the lifestyle start to turn away from nudism, rather than risk social isolation).

I have some issues with the explanations she gives for some of her behaviors, though. In the beach episode (there's always a beach episode - it's one of the perks of living on an island nation), she says that she wears a sweatshirt over her swimsuit because she has sensitive skin. Touch sensitivity is an excellent reason to try out nudism, but didn't she become a nudist due to family tradition? And if not wearing clothes has made her skin sensitive to textiles, then she should be wearing less, not more. If, on the other hand, it's the sun she's sensitive to - then how did she ever become accustomed to nudism? Is this just an excuse because she's self-conscious about her lack of tan lines? (But she's not even tan). Or is it that she's afraid to develop tan lines, and thus be revealed as a traitor to her family's ideals?

On the subject of not wearing panties (the one garment I'd almost be tempted to say is the most likely thing for a nudist female to be caught wearing, as opposed to being the only thing she's not wearing while otherwise fully dressed), she claims that it's a result of her low blood pressure(!), which causes her mind to be foggy in the mornings when she's getting dressed. Am I being too critical or are the writers grasping at straws here? "I'm not used to wearing them and I feel more comfortable without, and it's under my clothes -" (for the most part) "- so nobody is supposed to find out anyway" isn't a good enough excuse?


Despite being an uncommonly sensitive portrayal of nudism, I still get the sense that we're being presented with a wish fulfillment fantasy here - i.e., "the cute girl that has a crush on you loves to be naked!" (After all, true realism would almost certainly demand that the nudist character be male). Not that there's anything wrong with wish fulfillment fantasies; that's partly the purpose of entertainment. But by the time we get to the OVA episode, where the fan service is dialed up to 11 (these are frequently bonus episodes released to DVD and therefore less limited by broadcast restrictions), I can no longer say that the character's nudism is portrayed in an entirely non-sexualized manner.


However, there is still a distinction to be made between the artistic portrayal of nudity, and the viewer's response to it. (As an example, if a textile rents a nudist video for sexual purposes, it doesn't render the video pornographic). In one notable scene, the nudist character is hanging out at home with her friend (who remains dressed). Whether or not the viewer is being invited to leer at the exposed flesh on display, the fact remains that it is incredibly rare to see this kind of casual, social nudity - accepted as is, without fanfare, and devoid of a sexual context - not just in anime, but live action entertainment as well.

It's something I'd like to see a whole lot more of - and something that could go a long way toward normalizing the concept of nudism, and letting textiles hash out their insecurities over the perceived issues involved with encountering day-to-day nudity, even if it remains pure speculative fantasy, and not something that's commonly encountered in the real world. You'd just have to beware the tempting pitfall of making it sexual (which is not to say that the subject of sex cannot be broached). Creatives take note - there is a lot of unmined potential here. I just wish I had more of an inclination for telling stories and developing characters than I do for analyzing concepts.