Layers

Playing around (again) with the transition between being nude and being dressed.

I threw the erection in just for fun, and because it really punctuates the erotic element of getting undressed. I know it's probably not kosher to the nudist mindset, but sometimes just taking off your clothes can be exciting. Maybe I really am that weird, but I don't understand why sexual arousal has to always be accompanied, in people's minds, with initiation of sexual activity. Can't somebody just get turned on, enjoy the sensation, and leave it at that?* Without running to hide (or finish himself off)? Like a lot of people probably do while dressed? (I wonder what it must be like for female exhibitionists engaging in nudism, since their arousal is somewhat less conspicuous than a man's). And if this isn't possible for some people, why can't those people refrain from letting themselves get turned on in public, instead of insisting that those of us who can control ourselves not be allowed to either?

*I was thinking just last night, as I lay in bed, that most people probably view attraction as a means to an end - a tool to facilitate pair-bonding and family-building, which in other words is the biological mandate to procreate. Of course beauty is a virtue - everybody (pretty much) envies those who have it, and are capable of recognizing it in others (subjectively speaking). But self-conscious about their appearance they may be, I feel like they must understand deep down what nudists often preach. You don't have to be beautiful to live. You don't even have to be beautiful to be happy. You can find a mate, raise a family, and make a life for yourself, even if you don't look like a supermodel.

It's me that's different. Beauty isn't just a virtue, it's a lifestyle. It's not a means to an end, it's the end itself. Attraction isn't a form of sexual foreplay, it's the climax. I revel in the buildup. I'm not even particularly concerned with intercourse, I just like the arousal. And I want to fill my life with it. I want to be surrounded by beauty on all sides, at all times. Art, modeling, fashion, people-watching. I suppose it's a superficial way to live, but I'm not a shallow person. The assumption is that if you care about physical beauty, then nothing else matters, but that's not true. I guess I just value it more than the average person, because it fills me with joy.

I tell you, it's gotta be tough being a lunatic - being utterly convinced that it's not you, but the world around you that's crazy. I just want to know if I'm alone in having these so-called "crazy" thoughts. Am I? Do you think people should be judged for their state of arousal, or should they be judged for how they conduct themselves while aroused? Is it enough to condemn a man for having an erection, or should we consider what he does with it?