I can't decide if it sucks or if it's awesome that I feel the need to write a several-paragraphs-long disclaimer in order to make an observation about people's grooming habits, but I guess that's just the way I am, so for better or worse...
I try not to make my preferences on this issue too vocal, because after all, they are only my personal preferences, and there are a lot of politics involved with saying you like women to groom themselves one way or another. A lot of people think that if you (especially if you're a man) say you prefer one style, then you are demanding every woman in the world adhere to that personal preference. Which is ridiculous. But the sentiment is not completely unmerited, on account of the fact that, as an avid admirer of women, I've seen lots of men make disparaging comments about women's grooming habits that they don't like. (This is true of pubic grooming, but becomes much more pronounced when we talk about hair on other parts of the body, that women are traditionally expected to shave regularly).
The nastier of these comments are just rude and unwarranted - I've always felt that way - but at the same time, women should keep in mind that what any one or another man likes shouldn't dictate their own grooming habits. The only exception is if it's someone they are intimate with, or someone to whom they are attracted, and whose sexual preferences they therefore want to conform to. But there's no reason why you have to meet the expectations of the majority of the male population with whom you will never so much as go on a date. My belief is that, in a healthy, responsible relationship, each partner's grooming habits should be an agreed upon compromise between each partner's preferences, and what each partner likes and is comfortable with for themselves.
My own personal preference is for a smooth, hairless body, because I'm simply not attracted to body hair. It would be nice if the whole world could just agree that whether you like body hair or not - it's simply a matter of preference. There is no right and wrong view to have. In this day and age of regular bathing, I don't think there's any significant hygiene difference either way. And saying that people who like women to shave themselves completely smooth are repressed pedophiles seems to me to be no more accurate than saying people who like body hair are into bestiality (as I'm sure any pedophile will tell you that adult women's bodies are as alike to children's bodies as they are to animals). As a matter of fact, when I was a child, I once had an accidental closeup view of a woman's entire pubic mound, and, quite contrary to developing an attraction for it, I've come to associate untamed pubic hair with older women - in the terminology of the pagan threefold Goddess, the mothers and the crones - rather than the young maidens evolution has taught me to consider as potential mates.
The bottom line, in any case, is that if someone has a preference for any particular grooming style, that's legitimate - a person is allowed to like certain things more than other things, regardless of the reasons why. Now, the way you behave as a result of your preference is your own responsibility - if you like one thing, that doesn't mean you're justified in being rude to people who have a difference of opinion. Some critics argue that a man preferring a woman to shave her pubic hair is a hypocrite if he's unwilling to shave his own pubic hair. Certainly, no man who prefers a shaved pussy is justified, when confronted with a woman who likes shaved men, in saying that she's "out of luck if she can't handle a man with hairy balls."
But I don't think that most men are this inconsistent (or even this much of a dick). And there's nothing wrong with a man liking women who shave, but not liking to shave himself - provided he's polite about it, and recognizes the imbalance, and is maybe willing to make up for it in other ways (additionally, we can't assume that all women like their men to be shaved). Certainly, having a willingness to come to a compromise with one's partner's preferences is commendable, compared to a stubborn mule who won't budge. (On the other hand, if your preferences and that of your partner strongly conflict, then you may not be all that compatible, and might be better off seeking somebody else whose preferences more closely mesh with your own).
Personally, my distaste for body hair is not simply something I impose on women as a requirement for me to be attracted to them - it's something that applies when considering my own body as well. Since my physical sex is (by all appearances) male, I have more body hair than the average woman, but at the same time, I'm lucky in that I have less body hair than the average man. Still, I make a concentrated effort to regularly groom it - on my face, my underarms, and my arms and legs, in particular - so no woman can tell me I don't know what it's like to have to adhere to these particular standards of beauty (although I adhere to them because I want to, not because I feel like I'm supposed to).
In my case, as an erotic photographer, I spend a lot of time examining and admiring nude photos of women, and I've gained an appreciation for women with different looks. Surely, I have my own preferences, and some of them are indeed strong, but I can appreciate a variety of women who may not be my preferred type. And when it comes to pubic hair grooming habits, I'm pretty liberal. Where closeup shots are concerned - which is usually in the realm of pornography - smooth or at least tamed is preferable. And that makes some amount of sense, because the hair can obscure what you're looking at. It's no surprise to me that this style is popular in porn, and I don't think it's fair to blame porn if people see it and happen to like it.
But most of what I like and look at is more holistic, in the sense of being pictures of women, and not pictures of women's body parts. And I can appreciate either the look of a shaved woman, or the look of a natural woman - they both have an aesthetic consistency. But one thing that's really popular that I don't think looks very good is the so-called "landing strip". It's so arbitrary and unnatural! If you're going to go to the trouble to shave, why would you leave that strip there? I could understand trimming the whole thing down to a manageable length, without completely shaving it off. I do that myself sometimes, since it gets uncomfortable if I go too short in that area. I could even understand grooming it into a shape - like a heart. That sounds cute. But a strip? Or even a triangle that doesn't cover the entire pubic area? You're still getting this weird juxtaposition of smooth skin and hair. Every time I see it, I can't help thinking that it looks artificial. And yet it's enormously popular. More so, probably, than either of the extremes - leaving it alone, or shaving it all off. But frankly, if I had to choose between the two, for aesthetic reasons, I think I'd take either extreme over the man-made airstrip. But then, I'm not a fan of tattoos and piercings, either, so it could be my naturalistic bias...
No comments:
Post a Comment