Truth be told, I was sitting on the couch watching - not porn, actually - but an ecchi anime series. "Ecchi" is Japanese for "erotic" (or something similar, depending on your translation), and a series of the ecchi variety - as opposed to hentai, which is basically porn - leans more in the softcore direction, with a lot of "fanservice" and sexual suggestion, without going too far.
A situation like that, or like when I'm often browsing pics on the net, or even not infrequently when engaged in sexual contacts with another, needn't proceed to an orgasm for me to enjoy it. I rarely experience goal-oriented arousal (i.e., "I need to get off"), which has the peculiar effect of leaving me with an ostensibly low sex drive.
At the same time, I'm a highly sensual being, and I enjoy being in a state of arousal. I also enjoy thinking about sex an awful lot, although it might be worthwhile to mention that when I do think about sex, I'm not so often imagining intercourse or, again, goal-oriented sexual contacts, so much as I like admiring the aesthetic/erotic appeal of girls' bodies, or particular erotic situations, or, quite frequently, simply thinking about the psychological aspects of human sexuality, as in the kinds of things I write about here on this blog.
Which is not to say that I'm always constantly aroused when I engage in all of these activities, but erections may come and go, like the wind, and I appreciate the sensations they give me when they are present, but without any expectation of them leading anywhere, or even, sometimes, consciously "encouraging" them. As such, I find my own sexuality a little hard to pin down in terms of conventional stereotypes.
Not that I have any desire to do so, but it leaves me a little confused, sometimes, as to where I fit in to the great, diverse picture of human sexuality profiles. Particularly considering my gender "experimentation". It's actually kind of curious, because though I feel determined to label various aspects of my behavior, appearance, and personality as either male or female, it seems as though my sexuality (among other things) could go either way depending on your perspective.
Certainly, in terms of the gender wars, and where feminism frequently comes into play, I typically (maybe too hastily) identify myself, by default, as having a male pattern of sexual desire, largely on account of the fact that I am attracted to the female sex, and that I have strong reactions to visual (some would say superficial) stimuli.
On the other hand, my actual desire for intercourse, even when regularly available to me (or orgasm by other means, in other situations), seems to follow more of what would be considered the average female pattern. It is not unusual for a male to masturbate regularly - even daily - in the absence of a regular source of intercourse, and I have indeed encountered this among male communities, at least on the internet.
Meanwhile, I could easily (and regularly do, when left to my own devices) go for weeks without feeling any strong desire to stimulate myself to orgasm, which seems more in accord with the female pattern. Then again, those periods might include regular instances of arousal and stimulation, though some of which are very brief and happenstance, and none of which may necessarily accompany a desire to go "all the way".
Plus, if you add porn in to the mix, though I share the "visual" approach that is usually associated with the male pattern of desire, I find myself frequently repulsed by a lot of the hardcore stuff that is so popular and ubiquitous in certain corners of the internet. Maybe it's my artistic sensibilities, or maybe it's my less aggressively masculine and more romantic approach to eros, as opposed to an all-out celebration of penis-in-vagina intercourse and all the icky smells and touches and fluids that come with it...
One thing's for sure, I'm not a typical case. Although I'd love for us to abandon the notion that any case is typical, and just look at different patterns as individual expressions of a diverse - and spectacular - population.
I like this photo. It has a nice feeling of "normalcy" to it that I find appealing. Just an enjoyable evening at home with a hard cock in hand.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind this coming from a male, but another reason I like this photo is that I think your hard cock is very attractive. I like its shape, size, and color. And so, another reason I like this photo is that I can look at your cock for an extend period of time, and enjoy its contours, without staring and making you feel uncomfortable, which might be the case in person, lol.
I enjoy having an evening like this too, with a hardon and a number of small orgasms without ejaculation – one of the good insights that come from tantric sex.
One of your comments I particularly liked was about an erection coming and going like the wind. I agree. Before I read your comment I was thinking about how the hard cock in your photo gives it a wonderful ephemeral quality, and what I was thinking was that it's like the green flash, which can only be seen with the right conditions, and then it's gone again. Well, wind or green flash, a hard cock is a wonderful part of nature, and it's fleeting existence is just one of its many appealing qualities.
Eye Candy
You've brought up a very good point about photography and modeling. You could stare at a picture for hours on end, or even stimulate yourself to orgasm right in front of it, but this doesn't involve any imposition on the model in the picture at all. The picture serves as a rewarding substitute for something that would be rare and/or undesirable for the other party in person.
ReplyDeleteThough I might not personally object to somebody staring at my body and stimulating him/herself in person (although for a stranger to unexpectedly start doing that out of nowhere might be alarming) - and I know a lot of models would be uncomfortable with that - I certainly couldn't handle constant attention from the sheer volume of people looking at my pics online at all hours of the day. So again, the pictures serve a purpose - a way for me to donate myself to the public in a form that barely inconveniences me.
In the very same way, I've realized in the past that I like it when I get to see girls perform music live (often as singers), because when they get up there on stage, it's like giving me an excuse to stare at them in a way that's expected in that context, but would probably be uncomfortable if she were just a figure in the crowd.
On the other subject you brought up, one thing I've discovered is that the ephemerality of erections - and the fact that they require constant stimulation to maintain, beyond the first few moments - makes erotic male modeling pretty difficult in a way that I don't think is mirrored for women. Although the female body does have certain cues for arousal, none of them are as conspicuous as the transformation from a flaccid to an erect penis. And a male posed in a sexually charged position, but with a soft penis, loses much of its potency. So the effort required to keep a model hard throughout a shoot is challenging indeed.
And then there's the fact that law and popular opinion considers the mere sight of an erect penis pornographic, whereas none of the female cues for sexual arousal are considered as such, thereby vastly limiting the potential for displaying male erotica versus female erotica. And I wonder how much that might actually be inspired by prejudiced views towards male and female sexuality (e.g., the influence of homophobic patriarchs). But that's a whole different discussion...
Yeah, it sure can be tough sometimes to maintain a nice rock hard cock while trying to take care of technical details, like focus, lighting, composition, etc. Especially when you're both model and photographer! Oh well, if my cock gets a little soft while I set things up I enjoy the process of getting it nice and hard again, lol.
ReplyDeleteDid you take this pic yourself? I so you did a great job, because it definitely looks like a picture taken by someone else.
I've always thought one interesting aspect of being a male porn model – as opposed to woman – would be the issue of staying nice and hard between shots. Keeping my cock nice and hard in front of a group of people would be a fun experience above and beyond the actual shoot itself, lol.
I like your long, blonde hair in this photo, and how it's tied up behind you head. It also looks like your nipples are a bit "nipply," which is cool.
Yeah, I took it myself. I've cultivated a keen sense of self-awareness as a result of my modeling experience (or maybe I became a model due to my keen sense of self-awareness, I don't know), and this was a case of me sitting on the couch and thinking, I bet what I'm doing right now would make a good picture. So I made a mental picture of how I was sitting and what I was doing, then I got up and set up my camera, and resumed my position from memory!
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