Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Pi(e) Day

Celebrating the magical ratio between a circle's circumference and its diameter, with - what else? - pie!

Do you want a piece of my cherry pie?

I do enjoy double entendres. And since we're on the subject of sex and pies - which, if taken literally, is a bit outside the realm of the ordinary - I thought this would be a good opportunity to have a discussion about the nature of fetishistic desires.

Regrettably, some people have a very limited imagination when it comes to the topic of alternative sexual desires, not coincidentally inspired by a very negative view of sexuality - that sex must be approached very strictly in a particular way, to avoid falling afoul of some arbitrarily designated rules of propriety. In other words, as an example, the edict that you must only have sex in the missionary position, for the purposes of procreation, otherwise you are committing a sin and shaming yourself and God. This is a disgusting way to view human sexuality - one that promotes shame (obviously) and self-loathing - and any God (or priest, or other social force, who wants to control the behavior of the masses) that would demand we hold ourselves up to such...not extraordinary, but inhumane standards is not worth worshiping or even admiring.

As a thought experiment, let's posit a hypothetical alternative sexual desire - say, a fetish for the warm, inner flesh of fruit pies. One can imagine that this desire may manifest itself in the unfortunate form of a man "demolishing" a pie in an uncouth manner. We view this behavior as deviant because it contravenes the standard use for a pie (namely, to be eaten). In light of that purpose, this alternative use may indeed be seen as somewhat disturbing.

But let's separate the act of demolishing the pie from the desire that precedes it. A man may choose whether or not to demolish a pie in this manner, but he does not choose his desires. And while it might seem natural for us to associate the desire with what we view as the inevitable demolition of pies, I'd like to point out that the desire itself does not necessarily incorporate demolition as an intrinsic aspect. The man does not desire to demolish pies, it is merely the case that the pie becomes demolished in the process of satisfying his desire for it.

This may seem like a niggling detail, but I feel that it is important in profiling the fetishist's psychology. The critical point is that, contrary to a sex-negative conception, the sexual desire itself is not a manifestation of hatred or violence, or even domination. A pie fetishist doesn't necessarily want to damage the pies he fancies. In fact, he probably regards them highly, as they are able to provide him with such positive feelings. And it may be conceivable that there could be other ways a man might satisfy his desire for pies that do not involve their demolition (e.g., via fantasy, or non-contact voyeuristic acts).

What I'd like to demolish is the stereotype of the out-of-control sex freak who, overcome by desire, cannot help destroying everything in his path in his myopic quest for sexual satisfaction - even (or especially) the very object of his desire. An exhibitionist does not require the shock and offense of unsuspecting innocents any more than a lover of women requires the humiliation and degradation of womankind. The behaviors of a sex pervert who happens to be criminally insane should reflect poorly on the criminally insane - not on sex perverts as a group.

The important conclusion to be drawn here is that the fetishist has the potential to be a well-adjusted, law-abiding, productive member of society - ideally, while still fulfilling his sexual desires. But this can't happen if we shame and marginalize him for the desires he can't control, which goes far beyond holding him accountable for the behaviors he can control. Insofar as the pie fetishist is able to browse a confectionary without behaving inappropriately, we should praise him. For resisting such powerful temptation, he deserves our sympathy, rather than scorn for what we suppose he might like to do with those pies in private.

And we're going to ignore the fact that the ultimate fate of the pie you purchased is to be devoured and digested, then excreted from your body and dispelled into the sewers. Because nourishment is considered a valid activity, but somehow, there is something "immoral" about the giving and taking of sexual pleasure. Your pie doesn't end up any better off than the fetishist's, necessarily. But you see, this isn't really about pie at all. It's about controlling other people's sexual feelings. Or trying to, anyway. Because you can't dictate what goes through anyone's mind while they're jerking off.

No comments:

Post a Comment