Tricky Treats

People get so superstitious around Halloween (drugs in candy, anyone?), it's ridiculous. But not inappropriate, I suppose - after all, this is the season for tricksters and evil spirits. I'm probably risking my reputation posing like this, but it's art, not reality. And I delight in turning my imagination to the subject of sexual deviance. To paraphrase the Marquis de Sade, I have imagined everything under the sun, but I have not practiced a fraction of the things I've imagined, and I never will. I am a pervert, but I am neither a criminal nor a scoundrel.

In case you didn't catch it the first time.

Anyway, I think the very concept of somebody hiding their genitals in a bowl of candy (so, what, they can get a brief second of physical contact before spending the rest of their life in jail?) is as pointlessly impractical as it is fiendishly clever. So I couldn't help recreating it for a photo. You'll also notice that I'm wearing my Satanic t-shirt. It seemed appropriate.

"Live deliciously this Halloween, with the only candy bar that grows from fun size to full size when you put it in your mouth!"

Hotel Hot Tub

Cat on a Windowsill

Tell me again how pornography is gross, ugly, disgusting. How it's degrading and humiliating and exploitative. How it's obscene and a form of violence. How it can't be artistic, or aesthetically pleasing. How it can't be beautiful, or uplifting, or inspiring. What a tragedy it is to have such a narrow mind, a negative outlook, and a dearth of imagination.

Hotel Mirror Outtake

Look at that, I've sprung a boner. Heavens, no! It's the devil's tail! Shield your eyes!

Thought Police

Although opinions on this subject - obviously - vary, I have encountered attitudes that are very opposed to the "misuse" of photos shared on the internet. This may manifest in the form of slander and harassment, but the primary concern often cited is a sexual one. Let's say, for example, a young woman posts a photo of herself at the beach on her Instagram feed. It gets downloaded and passed on to a porn site. As a creator, I sympathize with the grief that may be caused by the public distorting the intended use of an image. But at the same time, there is a limit to how much we can control the public's interpretation of what we share. I am more concerned about the porn site's unauthorized use of the image (especially if it's making any money off of it), than the notion that any number of people might view the image and think sexual thoughts.

And my question is, to what extent is that something that we ought to be able to restrict? Should a person be allowed to think sexual thoughts about another person (or their image) without their knowledge or consent? I would, of course, say, absolutely! But is this a universal response? We cannot prevent others from fantasizing about us because it is simply impossible. So, if we must permit people their fantasies (for practical reasons alone), then perhaps there isn't much to be said about what personal purposes a person might put an image to, once it leaves the hands of its owner.

But what if we could police people's thoughts? Assume, for a moment, that we had the capability to do so. That, by some power or technology, we could prevent other people from even thinking sexy thoughts about us without our consent. My question is, should we? Is that a level of control society ought to have? Or is the freedom of our minds important enough to be worth permitting people to have thoughts that may disturb us (if only we knew - which, most of the time, we don't)? I think you should know my answer to this question, and I would go so far as to say that there really is only one permissible answer. But what I'm curious about, is how many people there are out there that would say differently, especially in this current climate of antagonism toward the concept of free speech. Imagine if you could prevent people from ever having racist or sexist or bigoted thoughts. Would it be worth it? Knowing that this capability could be put to far more nefarious uses? To lose the autonomy of our own minds?

In short, I ask you: if we had the capability to police people's thoughts, is that something we should do?

Sex-Positive Nudism

I posted a tweet on Twitter a few days ago, and it absolutely exploded. It's been a challenge just keeping up with the discussion it has generated. I've enjoyed it, to be sure, but it's kept me preoccupied for days. The tweet asked the simple question, can there be a sex-positive nudism? The response was largely positive, although certainly also represented was the sort of attitude my own tweet had been responding to: nudists who push too far in the direction of antagonizing sexuality in an effort to legitimize their lifestyle. It's always been hard for me, as I'm sure you can understand if you've followed my writing for any length of time, to limit my thoughts to the relatively short limitations of the Twitter format - even as they are double what they used to be (I also dislike how confusing it sometimes is trying to follow a thread of discussion on Twitter - it drives my organized mind nuts). I'm trying to learn to take advantage of the power of a pithy and distilled response (indeed, the original tweet in question was the distillation of a much longer stream of consciousness that I decided would be more effectively reduced to its central essence), but sometimes my mind just requires more space to make my point. So, since I can't post this there, I'm posting it here on my blog - a discussion of my concerns re: the issue at hand, specifically regarding nudism's place in the world, the troubled relationship between nudism and the swinger or hedonistic lifestyle, and the relative priorities of legitimizing nudism versus healing our society's sexual dysfunction.

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If so-called "hedonists" are appropriating nudism as a strategy for legitimacy, that's a mirror image of nudists disavowing hedonists for the same reason. We have the upper hand in that exchange, because nudism really isn't hedonism, whereas hedonism isn't really nudism. But we should be reaching out to the hedonists to be their ally. As long as we are enemies, they will strike at us, coveting the potential for legitimacy that we have. If there is space for hedonism in the world, then they wouldn't need to drain our lifeforce, and then there could also be nudism in the world, without needing to exert so much effort into reassuring the public that we really aren't hedonists. I suspect that many nudists view nudism as more legitimate than hedonism, same as the rest of the population disavows the legitimacy of anything related to sex (especially "alternative" expressions thereof). But that's a flawed and inhumane perspective. It's simply not the case that hedonism must be ignored while nudism finds its footing, only for society to then turn to consider the legitimacy of hedonism. That'd be like saying racism must be eradicated before we can consider the issue of sexism.

We exist in a sex-negative world. Nudism can see itself fitting into that world so long as it can convince the world that it's not a sexual lifestyle. I support this strategy because it's a true portrayal of reality - nudism is not a sexual lifestyle. But I am not just a nudist, and I am certainly not a sex-negative nudist. As important to me as nudism (and nudism is very important to me) is the fact that I am sex-positive. I don't just want to live in a world where nudism is an option. I want to live in a world healed of its sexual dysfunction. And so I am cautious, in the effort to "legitimize" nudism by distancing itself from sex, not to disparage sex in the process. I absolutely do not object to the accurate portrayal of nudism as a non-sexual lifestyle. But I refuse to engage in any kind of sex-negativity in the process of "purifying" nudism, even if doing so stands to further legitimize nudism in a sex-negative society. Saying that nudism isn't sexual is accurate and truthful. But allying nudism with a sex-negative perspective is not, and that's where I draw the line.

7 Struggles

I came upon yet another interesting item on Twitter, this time an article from elite daily titled "7 Struggles of Being a Nudist in a World Full of Clothes" (via Nude and Happy). And because, I guess, I like to contradict anyone who claims that their personal experience is in any way universal, I wanted to give my own personal comments on these supposed seven struggles that every nudist can relate to.

1. You make people uncomfortable.
Only insofar as I would choose to go naked among people who would be uncomfortable about it. I wish I didn't have to take others' concerns into mind when deciding how comfortable I get to be, but that's the world we live in. A bigger struggle of being a nudist in a world full of clothes is how much other people (read: textiles) make me uncomfortable - by forcing me to wear clothes against my will.

2. You're confused by exercise.
I'm confused by this being a struggle. Exercise doesn't confuse me. I love exercise! I do it regularly. Being a nudist doesn't mean I don't appreciate the benefits of good health, nor that I don't believe that being fit is beautiful. I know there's a stereotype that in nudism "all bodies are beautiful", but it's not to be taken literally (at least not in my opinion). Yes, it confuses me a little that textiles insist on working out in clothes, but the fact that they cover up the bodies they work so hard on? Well, they're just saving the results for their intimate partners, aren't they?

3. You don't own pajamas.
Actually, I do own pajamas. In fact, I like pajamas. They're cute. They're intimate, without necessarily being indecent. I don't wear them often, and never to sleep in. But sometimes you need something comfy to lounge in at home when you have guests staying that aren't nudists. I do like the occasional opportunity to go out to, say, breakfast (or a late night run to the store) in pajamas every now and then.

4. You're always hot.
This is another struggle that confuses me. I'm not always hot. Not even in my clothes. And being out of them means I'm more likely to be cold, especially living with someone who's not as dedicated to the lifestyle as I am, and so is usually clothed, and prefers the house to be on the cool side...

5. When you get drunk, the clothes come off.
Actually, I could totally see how this would be true. That is, if I drank alcohol - which I don't. At all. I have nothing against others who drink responsibly, but I just have no desire to do it myself. Anyway, I don't even have to be drunk. I'll take any excuse you'll give me to get naked. As long as it won't get me in too much trouble.

6. You never feel like you're being your true self.
I mean, kinda. I'm me whether I'm dressed or not. Of course, nudism is a large part of my life and my identity. But I identify as a nudist among my family and friends anyway, whether I can practice it or not. Yeah, not being able to practice it when I'd like to is a huge struggle, no doubt. But I'm still me. In fact, despite being a nudist, I have an interest in fashion, too. So I can totally be myself while dressed.

7. People think you're hypersexual.
I know there's this stereotype that everyone thinks all nudity is sexual. Well, I don't really have a problem with people thinking I'm hypersexual (I think?). In fact, people that have known me tend to peg me as being very reserved, sexually. Which is ironic, because I'm very sex-positive and sexually liberated - in theory if not so much practice. Unless you consider the fact that I'm an erotic model on the internet to be relevant (I mean, it kinda is). I don't think most people know about that, though. I'm sure it was a shock for my family and friends learning that I'm a nudist, but I'm pretty sure I introduced the concept in a way that they didn't jump to the conclusion that I'm, like, a swinger or anything.