#30 Days of Pride (A Retrospective)

This year, in response to the troubling news I've been hearing out of the south, I decided to spend the month of June celebrating trans pride, and expressing my own gender non-conforming identity, by posting my thoughts and opinions on subjects related to gender daily on Twitter, accompanied by self-portrait images I've taken over the years. For the sake of posterity (once again), and because it's probably easier to read them together as a blog post than separate, scattered tweets, I'm copying them here. I also added, like, a bunch of extra images, because I had way more that I liked than I was able to share in the end.

#30daysofpride

As much as I love being naked, I also have a passion for fashion. It's a way for me to express my feminine identity, and demonstrate that cross-dressing is a fashion statement, not a punchline. That's why every day this June, I'll be sharing my transgender pride.

Cross-dressing is a fashion statement, not a punchline. I hate that our culture teaches budding transgender individuals that the best "a man in women's clothes" can look is either hilarious or repulsive. It's time to flip the script.

I've had women tell me I look better wearing the clothes they've given me than they did! I may not have curves in the same places, but we all fit clothes differently. There's nothing stopping either sex from dressing feminine and looking good - unironically.

In truth, I have mixed feelings about the term "cross-dressing", because it makes it sound like a costume I'm putting on, or something I only do on the weekends, or in the bedroom. This is my day-to-day wardrobe. These aren't women's clothes, they're MY clothes.

On the other hand, I don't fit the conventional stereotype of being "born in the wrong body". But transgender is an umbrella. Not only are we all on different parts of our journey, some of us are on different journeys altogether. We can still support one another.

Honestly, I started growing my hair out as a teenager due to laziness. I kept it long because I was into the music scene from the '60s and '70s and it jibed with the fashion from that era. Later, it became an asset when I started experimenting with gender.

I struggle with the terms gay and straight because in my mind, sex and gender are perpendicular axes that are conflated merely because they happen to align in a majority of cases. I enjoy heterosex, but "straight male" doesn't begin to convey my unconventionality.

I call these my ruby slippers. I love getting a new pair of shoes, but I think the obsession is more about the role of coordination and variation in women's fashion. When I dressed like a guy, all I ever wore was jeans and tennis shoes and a different t-shirt.

From certain angles, I look feminine even naked. From the start, I've always tried to imitate female models in my photography. Over the years, I've had lots of NUDE self-portraits invited to galleries that exclusively feature women. It tickles me pink every time.

For gender-conforming individuals (whether cis or trans), the bathroom debate is moot. It's the unconventional non-binary and genderfluid folk who are most affected. I don't enjoy having an identity crisis every time I need to use a public restroom.

I like dressing up. I have two closets, and one of them is filled with formal dresses. But I never have an excuse to wear them. I wore a tuxedo to my senior prom, but I wish I could go back and do it again. I would wear the most dazzling dress.

The first piece of women's clothing I ever wore was my girlfriend's panties in high school (yes, I asked first). Women's clothing IS sexualized - and it's sexy. But that doesn't mean you can reduce a cross-dresser's interest in fashion to a sexual fetish.

I don't know why people conflate gender presentation with sexual orientation, unless it's just holdover gay stereotypes. I've adopted a feminine persona not to attract men (although it does), but because I like girls SO much, I want to BE one.

Bikinis are my favorite clothes. I envy girls' ability to wear them, and the double standard against guys who wear skimpy swimsuits. Bikinis can look good on me, but for swimming, the top never stays in place, and the bottom leaves nothing to the imagination.

I hesitated the first time I shaved my legs, because I thought they would still be too masculine. But I was wrong. I've never regretted it, and I've never gone back in twelve years. There are small things you can do that go a long way in communicating gender.

I don't relate to the term "androgynous". In my head, it means an inscrutable blend of characteristics, or a juxtaposition of extremes. I can't avoid having some masculine features, but my compass is strongly oriented towards the feminine.

My perspective may be a little skewed, but my definition of "femininity" doesn't depend on anatomy. Long, curly hair and pink, frilly panties looks girly to me. It doesn't matter that I don't have breasts, or that there's a bulge in my panties. Sex =/= gender.

Ballet, cheer, gymnastics - these are stereotypically feminine activities. But while men do perform them, their costumes and roles are different. Were I to participate, I wouldn't want to be a "ballerino", I'd want to wear a pink tutu and be one of the girls!

I don't want to abolish gender, I just want to make it optional. Associating girls with pink sparkles is fine, so long as you're not forced to be a "girl" (or barred from it) based on your anatomy. It's about choice. Gender is in your brain, not your genitals.

I think "gender reveal" parties are stupid and transphobic. It's impossible to tell whether a baby is a boy or a girl until they've grown up enough to decide for themselves. I'm not talking about their anatomical sex, I'm talking about their GENDER.

Sundresses and flip flops, short shorts and crop tops, bikinis and photo ops. Summer is my favorite season for fashion. In my opinion, the best clothes are the ones that show off the body (the skimpier the better!), not the ones that cover it up.

Pronouns don't define me. They're just a tool. I mainly use masculine ones, because it's what I grew up with; it's what's most familiar. And I don't want to be accused of "appropriating". But it really depends on how I'm presenting on any given day.

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" Can't tell you how many times a guy has expressed interest in me, knowing that I have male anatomy, while identifying himself as straight. I think some people are just more attracted to gender than sex.

Some men are so terrified of their own anatomy, they think the "trans agenda" is designed to trick them into dating a girl with a penis. It's not. You can acknowledge the reality of anatomical sex without that automatically making you "gender critical".

I believe that transwomen are women. But there are different kinds of women, and a person who grows up with a penis isn't going to have the same life experiences as a person who grows up with a vagina. That doesn't make them "less", it just makes them different.

Not wanting to have sex with a woman who has a penis doesn't make you transphobic - it's using your insecurities to deny and harm trans people that makes you transphobic. People deserve dignity and liberty independent of whether you would have sex with them.

I can't get past the double standard by which you'll see women dress in men's clothes and it's become so common and accepted that it's not even called "cross-dressing". But the instant a man puts on a skirt or heels, he's like an alien from another planet.

People complain about the "sexualization" of women's Halloween costumes. Sexy costumes aren't the problem - a lot of people like them. The issue is the expectation tied to gender. But there's nothing stopping women from shopping in the men's department.

Sometimes it feels like the truest girls anymore are the trans-girls. I see so many GGs disavowing feminine stereotypes. Which, more power to them, but I LIKE the female gender. TGs are better at slaying femininity because they know what boys like.

Sometimes I wonder how much of progress is bright minds uncovering the staggering complexity of life, obstructed by the frustration/resentment of the rest of the population too dumb to wrap their minds around why their oversimplified approximations are inadequate.