Try This On For Size

Nothing soothes the wintertime blues like going out to the store and having an excuse to peel off all your layers of warm clothing. You grab a few swimsuits from the clearance rack, take them to the fitting room, and then try them on while fantasizing about those sunny days when the air is so warm that you can hang out in the middle of crowds of sexy people wearing the skimpiest of covering over their mostly exposed bodies. Am I alone in thinking this is one of the supreme delights that life has in store for us?

I swear, I envy girls for their sleek anatomy, that they can get by with wearing the skimpiest of coverings. Even if you examine the male equivalent (exclusively sold as fetish wear, it seems), full coverage requires a very noticeable bulge or pouch. Now, if that kind of thing were socially acceptable, I wouldn't care, but in this male-dominated, allegedly patriarchal society (I say to emphasize the irony and doubtfulness of those statements), you're not allowed to even hint at the suggestion of possessing male anatomy. If ever I were to get sexual reassignment surgery (and it's not on my agenda), it would be for the sake of fashion, and not to assuage any psychological distress at possessing the wrong set of genitalia.

I tried on some tops, too, but didn't get any good pictures. The problem with shopping for bikinis is that you can always find great tops or great bottoms, but so rarely two that go well together. So, you end up with a drawer filled with assorted pieces, and you can't really wear any of them because they don't match...

I also found this really cute dress, that looks very good on me, notwithstanding a little bit of bulge, that's partially (though not totally) obscured by the ruffles. It looks very prom-y, which is a plus, and I got it for a steal! It's got all its parts, too, and it's nice and stretchy, so I don't have to worry about it being too tight around the rib cage, as is so frequently the case with dresses like this. If only I had some place to wear it to. All the better if it was among a crowd that didn't mind the nature of my anatomy. Because why should having a little bit of a bulge prevent me from dressing up? It's not fair, I tell you.

Until next time, thanks for joining me in the fitting room!