Wow, incredible muscle definition, especially in the calf of your left leg – but everywhere, really, like in your thighs, upper body, and arms. Very nice! The lighting is interesting, too – kind of subdued.
I also like your shoes and ankle socks. That's what I wear when not in flip flops, lol.
I was a little concerned about the lighting - the way the light was coming in through the window, you can see there's a shadow around my legs. But oh well.
Have you been visiting your local nudist colony lately, swimming and playing volleyball?
Inspired by your example I looked up nudist colonies in my area. I found a few, and I'm thinking of giving it a try. I assume you've enjoyed your experience?
My main experience so far in public nudism has been at Black's Beach in La Jolla, CA, which I absolutely loved – so natural in every way. I miss it, but am not in the area now.
When I looked for nudist colonies in my area one (the farthest from my home) said they had a "Sex On The Lawn" weekend, one weekend a month. The idea is that they allow/encourage people to have sex on the central lawn in the park, and for others to feel free to watch them. Sounds like a wonderfully civilized way to do things, so I'm tempted to give it a try this coming month.
Does your park have anything like that? Is there any open sexual activity at your park, or is it more for families? I guess the idea at the park I mentioned is to make it clear that one weekend a month is for open sexual behavior, so everyone has fair warning if they don't want to see it or be involved.
Weird things have been happening on my computer lately, like I can't sign into my Flickr account anymore. I'm working on that, and I guess maybe I got my Eye Candy name back, lol.
I hate to sound like a prudist, but that sounds kinda sketchy. I mean, it's great on its own, and in an ideal world, things like that wouldn't be a problem. But we don't live in an ideal world, and I'd be concerned that an activity like that would draw a very different sort of crowd.
The nudist resort ("colony" sounds a little outdated to my ears) I frequent is very family-oriented. It's a place you can go to relax, with friendly people, free from any sort of pressure to perform, or of being hit on (except, perhaps, for the rare exception, which is usually quickly weeded out). I can envision in my head an alternate reality where one could add sex to that equation, and keep everything cool and casual, but I don't have any realistic expectation of the current population being capable of pulling that off.
I think "swinger" and "exhibitionist" resorts deserve to exist, and I'd consider visiting one to see what it's like (if I felt it was a safe enough environment), but I don't think it's a very good idea to get them mixed up with nudist resorts - which also has the side-effect of confirming the popular stereotype that nudism is just people having sex in public.
All that having been said, I'm very curious what a place like that would be like, so if you do go and check it out, I'd love to hear about it.
Yeah, I'm sorry about the term "nudist colony." It sounded a bit archaic to my ears too, but I didn't give it enough thought to come up with "nudist resort," which I agree sounds much better.
I agree with your thoughts on the matter. Things can often sound quite fine, or even appealing, on an abstract level, but then turn out to be something quite different in reality. I know! Been there, done that, lol.
As I said, this resort is fairly far away, and then there's always the weather to consider, but if I do make it there I'll be happy to fill you in on the details. In fact, knowing I would give you a report adds an extra incentive to go, lol. I just liked the idea of basically telling people, if you want to have sex in the open that's fine, if you don't, that's fine, if you want to watch, that's fine, if you don't, that's fine, etc. Perhaps that's a bit too cool and casual for reality.
Some of the resorts closer to me look more family oriented, with games and pot lucks, etc. I think I would enjoy relaxing in an atmosphere like that, too.
I like "nudist camp" too, which describes my preferred destination pretty well, and "nudist beach", although I've yet to visit one of those (someday!).
Honestly, I feel like my hands are tied to a considerable extent, because obviously I have pretty progressive views on sex and especially sex in public - but there's so much pressure on the nudist lifestyle to remain squeaky clean, and probably for (unfortunately) good reasons.
Well, I think your nudist camp is lucky to have you as a participant.
On the topic of nude beaches, I think you would love one, and especially the relaxed vibe there.
My favorite, as I've mentioned before, is Black's Beach a few miles outside of La Jolla, CA. You park at the top of a cliff, where people are constantly flying hang gliders. In the distance you see the buildings of La Jolla clustered around La Jolla cove, including the pink hotel where I would see Hans Bethe enjoying his summer vacations from Cornell.
Then you hike down a very steep trail that helps to ensure the privacy of the beach, and also gives you some great exercise. At the bottom of the trail you're at a gorgeous sandy ocean beach where the body surfing is wonderful – especially when enjoyed completely in the nude. People are very relaxed there, and there are different areas that people of different interests frequent – along with volleyball courts near the trailhead.
People are generally just enjoying the beauty of the place, and the freedom to be nude as far as you can see in either direction. It's great. I used to jog there a lot in the splash zone of the surf.
Now and then you would see some sex, but people are considerate of others. One time I particularly remember, I was relaxing on my back on my towel after body surfing when I noticed a rapid wiggling motion. I looked, and noticed the couple closest to me playing around. They were sitting up, with legs open, and bodies close together. She was playing with his hard cock, shaking it back and forth, and he was caressing her tits.
Well, this was a nude beach after all, but even so the sight of them playing like that – and his cock totally hard and in her hand – got me hard instantly, even though I wasn't touching my cock at all. I was thinking maybe I should roll over to hide my hardon or go back into the water, but I noticed that the girl – who was facing my way – was smiling and enjoying looking at my cock. Of course, that made me even harder!! After a while the guy suddenly came, shooting spurt after spurt, which caught me by surprise. That sudden excitement pushed me over the edge, and I came on my belly – my first totally hands-free cum. That's why I remember it so well. Kind of takes my breathe away just telling you about it.
Anyway, if you ever get the chance to go to La Jolla, be sure to check out Black's Beach. I'm sure you would enjoy it.
It sounds wonderful! I'm on the east coast, but if I ever get the opportunity, I will have to check it out. I tried to plan a trip to Sandy Hook in New Jersey a few summers ago, but it unfortunately didn't pan out.
I've heard about the relaxed attitudes on beaches - which I think is at least in part due to being open rather than gated communities. Of course, mostly this attitude is talked about among nudists in a negative tone. And, like I said above about my hands being tied, I feel wary of speaking out in support of it, lest the nudists find out I'm a pervert, and put me on some kind of black list.
Then again, it's not like that's not obvious from anything I write here on this blog. The one thing working in my favor is that I've demonstrated that I'm capable of "behaving" and following the rules. But, off the record, I think that relaxed attitude sounds nice. As long as people are pretty much minding their own business, and not going out of their way to bother anyone else, I say let it be. Life's too short to excommunicate people for harmlessly enjoying themselves and having a good time.
(Quite frankly, I find people who drink excessively and stay up late making all kinds of noise more obnoxious than anyone minding their own business doing something sexual, and the former is not uncommon at the nudist camp I frequent).
Anyway, on the topic of nudists with relaxed attitudes, one year, I found a stash of old nudist lifestyle magazines in the clubhouse. They must have been somebody's private collection, who had forgotten to put them away before the camp opened its gates to non-members for the summer season. Well, I took advantage of the opportunity and browsed through them. They were fascinating. I read through the letters section in several of them. It was like a pre-internet version of an online forum, except I was surprised to find that people had a much wider variety of opinions than I see now in the nudist community. It's like they were just starting to figure things out then (there was lots of discussion about this new rule banning cameras at nudist resorts, which is ubiquitous now).
Nowadays, it seems like nudists have an official "party line", and while I find in my personal experience that most nudists are pretty laidback, if you go online or try to talk about what constitutes "the nudist lifestyle", there are these certain beliefs you're supposed to have. Like, as if there's only one way to be a nudist. Frankly, I find it a bit stifling.
Thanks for your reply. I really enjoyed reading it. Very interesting, and – as always – beautifully written.
I'm curious about the nudist lifestyle magazines you found. I don't think I've ever seen any of them myself – at least not in person. I remember once when I was a teen I found a stash of girlie magazines of my Dad's under a stack of towels in a drawer. They were incredibly tame by today's standards, but the fact that this was all new (nude, too) to me, and that I found them quite by accident, made them quite memorable.
What were the magazines you found like? Did they have photos, and if so what were they like? Just curious. So there was quite a debate about cameras at nudist resorts, huh? Just think how things have changed since then, lol.
Lol, I think that's a rite of passage for every growing boy. I found my dad's stack of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition magazines in a closet once. They were completely tame - not even nude - but still incredibly thrilling. It started my love affair with the erotic potential of photography.
Shortly after that I got my first computer (and you know the internet has changed everything). Still, I took my time delving into the world of pornography (I was always paranoid that somebody on the other side of the screen would know - somehow - if I lied and clicked the button professing that I was 18 or older), and to this day I still prefer the softcore stuff.
Amusingly, if I had kids, I'd be concerned that the nudie books they found in my closet would be filled with pictures of *me*! Ideally I'd raise them as nudists, but as you know some of my pictures go beyond that...
As for the lifestyle magazines, I don't remember a lot of specific details, as it was more than a year ago (or two). But they had long letter sections, and I think there were ads, too, and feature articles on things like nude recreation, and health and fitness, and things like that.
There were pictures, too. Some of them were really great. Not the kind of user profile pictures you can find on online nudist forums, where average people take completely mundane pictures of themselves doing things (or just standing there) without clothes on.
I'm talking about artistic pictures of beautiful people of all ages, often outdoors in the sunshine, being active. Not at all pornographic, but very celebratory of nature and fitness and the human body. It's a shame there's so much stigma surrounding nudist photography these days, because I'd love to have an opportunity to shoot those kinds of pictures.
Some nudists argue that it's against the tenets of nudism (namely, body acceptance) to represent nudism with images of beautiful (rather than ordinary) people. I sympathize, but as an aesthetic artist, I miss the days when nudism (or perhaps naturism) was associated more with health and fitness.
I mean, beauty pageants used to be a regular thing in the nudist lifestyle. I don't necessarily support the critical attitudes that come along with turning beauty into a contest, but I do think we should continue to at least celebrate the beauty of the human body.
I've written more about that here: http://pleasuresarethese.blogspot.com/2012/04/thoughts-on-beauty-pageants.html
Interesting comments, especially the one about kids in the house finding a stash of porn, only to have it be of you! That would be a fascinating situation all right. I've thought about the same situation as being very possible with me – and in fact, I've come close to having it accidentally become a reality a couple times. ;)
As for being scared about looking at porn, I can identify with that, too. When I was old enough to go to a porn movie, I walked from campus several miles downtown, and went to my first ever porn movie in an old theater. I was scared as I went up to buy the ticket, and very embarrassed as I walked in and other guys sitting there looked at me. It seems so silly now, but it was big time scary then.
I watched the movie for about half an hour, was very excited, and saw things I had never even thought about before. Then, all of a sudden, I heard sirens screaming outside the theater. I thought, "Oh no, they're raiding the place and I'm going to be arrested." I got up and left fast. When I got outside the sirens were just from aid cars going to help someone, but I was too scared to go back in. I walked back home, hard almost the whole way – excited, scared, nervous, a wild mix of emotions. (To top the day off, something weird happened on the way home. Maybe I'll can tell you about that sometime, too.)
Wild story! I'd love to hear the rest. I can sympathize with your fear when you heard the sirens. I'm glad it was unrelated, though.
I still feel self-conscious browsing porn in public. Like, in the dealer's room at anime conventions, or at FYE in the mall, which (remarkably) has an "adult video" section. It's like, I'm embarrassed to admit that yeah, I like porn. Which is terrible, because I'm supposed to be this erotic role model that demonstrates that it's okay to like porn. Maybe I should make a point to browse those sections, and hope that somebody sees me, and that it helps to reduce their own insecurities. Although mainstream, commercial porn rarely interests me much. I desire something more sophisticated.
Yeah I'm surprised (and glad, actually) to hear that FYE has an adult video section. Good for them.
As I said, this was really a weird day already – seeing my first ever porn movie, feeling really excited and a bit confused too by some of the sex scenes, getting scared like you wouldn't believe, and then feeling relieved that I wasn't going to be arrested – but then things got even stranger on the way home.
As I said, I walked downtown several miles to the movie (to save money). On the way back I'm thinking of all the sexual things I just experienced, and I'm hard and horny, when out of the blue this pickup truck pulls up next to me. There are two guys inside, about my age, and they call out to me, "You want a ride?" I was tired from the long walk, so I told them I was going to campus, and they said sure, they could take me there. This was the first and only time I ever took a ride like this – I can hardly believe I did it, but the circumstances were pretty unique, and the guys seemed friendly.
You're probably way ahead of me on this story, but I was totally naive, and was thinking only that it would be nice to save a few more miles of walking. The guy on the passenger side got out, and I got inside and sat in the middle. We're driving along, and the driver asks where I'm coming from. I tell him that I went uptown to see a movie. He asks which one and I lied – I was too embarrassed to admit the truth – so I chose a popular movie playing at the time. They started asking me questions about the movie, which I hadn't seen lol, and I was afraid they would find me out.
But then something else happened that made that concern irrelevant. I suddenly noticed that the driver had put his hand on my thigh, and he was stroking it lightly back and forth. Oh man, I thought I was scared before – now I was scared out of my mind. I jumped, pushed his hand away, and told them to let me out. They really were nice guys, after all, and they promptly pulled over, apologized, and let me out. I walked the rest of the way to the dorm with just a blur of feelings and emotions. Again, it seems silly now, but it wasn't then.
That's the only time I've ever had a guy touch me in a sensuous way – and the thing is, I was a virgin at the time and had never had anyone at all touch me like that before. When I got to my room I stroked my thigh, enjoying the feeling, and then jerked off to memories of the porn movie. What a strange mix of feelings. I was excited to be touched sensuously, but how strange that the first time I experienced that sort of feeling it was a guy doing it. What a weird situation. After that all my sexual adventures were with girls, and I never thought about "the ride" again – other than it had been a scary experience.
Thanks for showing an interest. I appreciate it. I've enjoyed telling you this story – I've never told it to anyone else before.
Wow, what an experience. I can't blame you for being scared. I don't want to say that there's anything wrong with what those guys were doing, but it's a shame they couldn't have been more open about it, instead of risking bringing someone naive and innocent into that kind of a situation. Still, it sounds like they were nice people, and I'm glad for that. Thanks for sharing!
I have to admit that when I go walking, I frequently have people honking at me and sometimes even asking me if I want a ride. I decline on principle, just because you never know what you're getting into, and anyway, the situation could get ugly real fast if somebody thought I was a girl, and then realized otherwise after taking a closer look. (Of course, even if they knew better from the start, I'm not sure that's the kind of attention I'd be comfortable with). But besides, when I go walking, it's usually because I want the exercise, not because I couldn't find a ride.
Wow, incredible muscle definition, especially in the calf of your left leg – but everywhere, really, like in your thighs, upper body, and arms. Very nice! The lighting is interesting, too – kind of subdued.
ReplyDeleteI also like your shoes and ankle socks. That's what I wear when not in flip flops, lol.
I was a little concerned about the lighting - the way the light was coming in through the window, you can see there's a shadow around my legs. But oh well.
ReplyDeleteHave you been visiting your local nudist colony lately, swimming and playing volleyball?
ReplyDeleteInspired by your example I looked up nudist colonies in my area. I found a few, and I'm thinking of giving it a try. I assume you've enjoyed your experience?
My main experience so far in public nudism has been at Black's Beach in La Jolla, CA, which I absolutely loved – so natural in every way. I miss it, but am not in the area now.
When I looked for nudist colonies in my area one (the farthest from my home) said they had a "Sex On The Lawn" weekend, one weekend a month. The idea is that they allow/encourage people to have sex on the central lawn in the park, and for others to feel free to watch them. Sounds like a wonderfully civilized way to do things, so I'm tempted to give it a try this coming month.
Does your park have anything like that? Is there any open sexual activity at your park, or is it more for families? I guess the idea at the park I mentioned is to make it clear that one weekend a month is for open sexual behavior, so everyone has fair warning if they don't want to see it or be involved.
Weird things have been happening on my computer lately, like I can't sign into my Flickr account anymore. I'm working on that, and I guess maybe I got my Eye Candy name back, lol.
ReplyDeleteI hate to sound like a prudist, but that sounds kinda sketchy. I mean, it's great on its own, and in an ideal world, things like that wouldn't be a problem. But we don't live in an ideal world, and I'd be concerned that an activity like that would draw a very different sort of crowd.
ReplyDeleteThe nudist resort ("colony" sounds a little outdated to my ears) I frequent is very family-oriented. It's a place you can go to relax, with friendly people, free from any sort of pressure to perform, or of being hit on (except, perhaps, for the rare exception, which is usually quickly weeded out). I can envision in my head an alternate reality where one could add sex to that equation, and keep everything cool and casual, but I don't have any realistic expectation of the current population being capable of pulling that off.
I think "swinger" and "exhibitionist" resorts deserve to exist, and I'd consider visiting one to see what it's like (if I felt it was a safe enough environment), but I don't think it's a very good idea to get them mixed up with nudist resorts - which also has the side-effect of confirming the popular stereotype that nudism is just people having sex in public.
All that having been said, I'm very curious what a place like that would be like, so if you do go and check it out, I'd love to hear about it.
Thanks for your reply.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm sorry about the term "nudist colony." It sounded a bit archaic to my ears too, but I didn't give it enough thought to come up with "nudist resort," which I agree sounds much better.
I agree with your thoughts on the matter. Things can often sound quite fine, or even appealing, on an abstract level, but then turn out to be something quite different in reality. I know! Been there, done that, lol.
As I said, this resort is fairly far away, and then there's always the weather to consider, but if I do make it there I'll be happy to fill you in on the details. In fact, knowing I would give you a report adds an extra incentive to go, lol. I just liked the idea of basically telling people, if you want to have sex in the open that's fine, if you don't, that's fine, if you want to watch, that's fine, if you don't, that's fine, etc. Perhaps that's a bit too cool and casual for reality.
Some of the resorts closer to me look more family oriented, with games and pot lucks, etc. I think I would enjoy relaxing in an atmosphere like that, too.
I like "nudist camp" too, which describes my preferred destination pretty well, and "nudist beach", although I've yet to visit one of those (someday!).
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I feel like my hands are tied to a considerable extent, because obviously I have pretty progressive views on sex and especially sex in public - but there's so much pressure on the nudist lifestyle to remain squeaky clean, and probably for (unfortunately) good reasons.
Well, I think your nudist camp is lucky to have you as a participant.
ReplyDeleteOn the topic of nude beaches, I think you would love one, and especially the relaxed vibe there.
My favorite, as I've mentioned before, is Black's Beach a few miles outside of La Jolla, CA. You park at the top of a cliff, where people are constantly flying hang gliders. In the distance you see the buildings of La Jolla clustered around La Jolla cove, including the pink hotel where I would see Hans Bethe enjoying his summer vacations from Cornell.
Then you hike down a very steep trail that helps to ensure the privacy of the beach, and also gives you some great exercise. At the bottom of the trail you're at a gorgeous sandy ocean beach where the body surfing is wonderful – especially when enjoyed completely in the nude. People are very relaxed there, and there are different areas that people of different interests frequent – along with volleyball courts near the trailhead.
People are generally just enjoying the beauty of the place, and the freedom to be nude as far as you can see in either direction. It's great. I used to jog there a lot in the splash zone of the surf.
Now and then you would see some sex, but people are considerate of others. One time I particularly remember, I was relaxing on my back on my towel after body surfing when I noticed a rapid wiggling motion. I looked, and noticed the couple closest to me playing around. They were sitting up, with legs open, and bodies close together. She was playing with his hard cock, shaking it back and forth, and he was caressing her tits.
Well, this was a nude beach after all, but even so the sight of them playing like that – and his cock totally hard and in her hand – got me hard instantly, even though I wasn't touching my cock at all. I was thinking maybe I should roll over to hide my hardon or go back into the water, but I noticed that the girl – who was facing my way – was smiling and enjoying looking at my cock. Of course, that made me even harder!! After a while the guy suddenly came, shooting spurt after spurt, which caught me by surprise. That sudden excitement pushed me over the edge, and I came on my belly – my first totally hands-free cum. That's why I remember it so well. Kind of takes my breathe away just telling you about it.
Anyway, if you ever get the chance to go to La Jolla, be sure to check out Black's Beach. I'm sure you would enjoy it.
It sounds wonderful! I'm on the east coast, but if I ever get the opportunity, I will have to check it out. I tried to plan a trip to Sandy Hook in New Jersey a few summers ago, but it unfortunately didn't pan out.
ReplyDeleteI've heard about the relaxed attitudes on beaches - which I think is at least in part due to being open rather than gated communities. Of course, mostly this attitude is talked about among nudists in a negative tone. And, like I said above about my hands being tied, I feel wary of speaking out in support of it, lest the nudists find out I'm a pervert, and put me on some kind of black list.
Then again, it's not like that's not obvious from anything I write here on this blog. The one thing working in my favor is that I've demonstrated that I'm capable of "behaving" and following the rules. But, off the record, I think that relaxed attitude sounds nice. As long as people are pretty much minding their own business, and not going out of their way to bother anyone else, I say let it be. Life's too short to excommunicate people for harmlessly enjoying themselves and having a good time.
(Quite frankly, I find people who drink excessively and stay up late making all kinds of noise more obnoxious than anyone minding their own business doing something sexual, and the former is not uncommon at the nudist camp I frequent).
Anyway, on the topic of nudists with relaxed attitudes, one year, I found a stash of old nudist lifestyle magazines in the clubhouse. They must have been somebody's private collection, who had forgotten to put them away before the camp opened its gates to non-members for the summer season. Well, I took advantage of the opportunity and browsed through them. They were fascinating. I read through the letters section in several of them. It was like a pre-internet version of an online forum, except I was surprised to find that people had a much wider variety of opinions than I see now in the nudist community. It's like they were just starting to figure things out then (there was lots of discussion about this new rule banning cameras at nudist resorts, which is ubiquitous now).
Nowadays, it seems like nudists have an official "party line", and while I find in my personal experience that most nudists are pretty laidback, if you go online or try to talk about what constitutes "the nudist lifestyle", there are these certain beliefs you're supposed to have. Like, as if there's only one way to be a nudist. Frankly, I find it a bit stifling.
Thanks for your reply. I really enjoyed reading it. Very interesting, and – as always – beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about the nudist lifestyle magazines you found. I don't think I've ever seen any of them myself – at least not in person. I remember once when I was a teen I found a stash of girlie magazines of my Dad's under a stack of towels in a drawer. They were incredibly tame by today's standards, but the fact that this was all new (nude, too) to me, and that I found them quite by accident, made them quite memorable.
What were the magazines you found like? Did they have photos, and if so what were they like? Just curious. So there was quite a debate about cameras at nudist resorts, huh? Just think how things have changed since then, lol.
Lol, I think that's a rite of passage for every growing boy. I found my dad's stack of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition magazines in a closet once. They were completely tame - not even nude - but still incredibly thrilling. It started my love affair with the erotic potential of photography.
ReplyDeleteShortly after that I got my first computer (and you know the internet has changed everything). Still, I took my time delving into the world of pornography (I was always paranoid that somebody on the other side of the screen would know - somehow - if I lied and clicked the button professing that I was 18 or older), and to this day I still prefer the softcore stuff.
Amusingly, if I had kids, I'd be concerned that the nudie books they found in my closet would be filled with pictures of *me*! Ideally I'd raise them as nudists, but as you know some of my pictures go beyond that...
As for the lifestyle magazines, I don't remember a lot of specific details, as it was more than a year ago (or two). But they had long letter sections, and I think there were ads, too, and feature articles on things like nude recreation, and health and fitness, and things like that.
There were pictures, too. Some of them were really great. Not the kind of user profile pictures you can find on online nudist forums, where average people take completely mundane pictures of themselves doing things (or just standing there) without clothes on.
I'm talking about artistic pictures of beautiful people of all ages, often outdoors in the sunshine, being active. Not at all pornographic, but very celebratory of nature and fitness and the human body. It's a shame there's so much stigma surrounding nudist photography these days, because I'd love to have an opportunity to shoot those kinds of pictures.
Some nudists argue that it's against the tenets of nudism (namely, body acceptance) to represent nudism with images of beautiful (rather than ordinary) people. I sympathize, but as an aesthetic artist, I miss the days when nudism (or perhaps naturism) was associated more with health and fitness.
I mean, beauty pageants used to be a regular thing in the nudist lifestyle. I don't necessarily support the critical attitudes that come along with turning beauty into a contest, but I do think we should continue to at least celebrate the beauty of the human body.
I've written more about that here:
http://pleasuresarethese.blogspot.com/2012/04/thoughts-on-beauty-pageants.html
Interesting comments, especially the one about kids in the house finding a stash of porn, only to have it be of you! That would be a fascinating situation all right. I've thought about the same situation as being very possible with me – and in fact, I've come close to having it accidentally become a reality a couple times. ;)
ReplyDeleteAs for being scared about looking at porn, I can identify with that, too. When I was old enough to go to a porn movie, I walked from campus several miles downtown, and went to my first ever porn movie in an old theater. I was scared as I went up to buy the ticket, and very embarrassed as I walked in and other guys sitting there looked at me. It seems so silly now, but it was big time scary then.
I watched the movie for about half an hour, was very excited, and saw things I had never even thought about before. Then, all of a sudden, I heard sirens screaming outside the theater. I thought, "Oh no, they're raiding the place and I'm going to be arrested." I got up and left fast. When I got outside the sirens were just from aid cars going to help someone, but I was too scared to go back in. I walked back home, hard almost the whole way – excited, scared, nervous, a wild mix of emotions. (To top the day off, something weird happened on the way home. Maybe I'll can tell you about that sometime, too.)
Wild story! I'd love to hear the rest. I can sympathize with your fear when you heard the sirens. I'm glad it was unrelated, though.
ReplyDeleteI still feel self-conscious browsing porn in public. Like, in the dealer's room at anime conventions, or at FYE in the mall, which (remarkably) has an "adult video" section. It's like, I'm embarrassed to admit that yeah, I like porn. Which is terrible, because I'm supposed to be this erotic role model that demonstrates that it's okay to like porn. Maybe I should make a point to browse those sections, and hope that somebody sees me, and that it helps to reduce their own insecurities. Although mainstream, commercial porn rarely interests me much. I desire something more sophisticated.
Yeah I'm surprised (and glad, actually) to hear that FYE has an adult video section. Good for them.
ReplyDeleteAs I said, this was really a weird day already – seeing my first ever porn movie, feeling really excited and a bit confused too by some of the sex scenes, getting scared like you wouldn't believe, and then feeling relieved that I wasn't going to be arrested – but then things got even stranger on the way home.
As I said, I walked downtown several miles to the movie (to save money). On the way back I'm thinking of all the sexual things I just experienced, and I'm hard and horny, when out of the blue this pickup truck pulls up next to me. There are two guys inside, about my age, and they call out to me, "You want a ride?" I was tired from the long walk, so I told them I was going to campus, and they said sure, they could take me there. This was the first and only time I ever took a ride like this – I can hardly believe I did it, but the circumstances were pretty unique, and the guys seemed friendly.
You're probably way ahead of me on this story, but I was totally naive, and was thinking only that it would be nice to save a few more miles of walking. The guy on the passenger side got out, and I got inside and sat in the middle. We're driving along, and the driver asks where I'm coming from. I tell him that I went uptown to see a movie. He asks which one and I lied – I was too embarrassed to admit the truth – so I chose a popular movie playing at the time. They started asking me questions about the movie, which I hadn't seen lol, and I was afraid they would find me out.
But then something else happened that made that concern irrelevant. I suddenly noticed that the driver had put his hand on my thigh, and he was stroking it lightly back and forth. Oh man, I thought I was scared before – now I was scared out of my mind. I jumped, pushed his hand away, and told them to let me out. They really were nice guys, after all, and they promptly pulled over, apologized, and let me out. I walked the rest of the way to the dorm with just a blur of feelings and emotions. Again, it seems silly now, but it wasn't then.
That's the only time I've ever had a guy touch me in a sensuous way – and the thing is, I was a virgin at the time and had never had anyone at all touch me like that before. When I got to my room I stroked my thigh, enjoying the feeling, and then jerked off to memories of the porn movie. What a strange mix of feelings. I was excited to be touched sensuously, but how strange that the first time I experienced that sort of feeling it was a guy doing it. What a weird situation. After that all my sexual adventures were with girls, and I never thought about "the ride" again – other than it had been a scary experience.
Thanks for showing an interest. I appreciate it. I've enjoyed telling you this story – I've never told it to anyone else before.
Wow, what an experience. I can't blame you for being scared. I don't want to say that there's anything wrong with what those guys were doing, but it's a shame they couldn't have been more open about it, instead of risking bringing someone naive and innocent into that kind of a situation. Still, it sounds like they were nice people, and I'm glad for that. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that when I go walking, I frequently have people honking at me and sometimes even asking me if I want a ride. I decline on principle, just because you never know what you're getting into, and anyway, the situation could get ugly real fast if somebody thought I was a girl, and then realized otherwise after taking a closer look. (Of course, even if they knew better from the start, I'm not sure that's the kind of attention I'd be comfortable with). But besides, when I go walking, it's usually because I want the exercise, not because I couldn't find a ride.