This story here is interesting. It's a rare inversion of the usual concern websites have about censoring nudity in order to respect conservative cultures who are offended by it. This is a case where nudity (at least in this particular context) is part of the culture in question, and it's Facebook's conservative censorship that is what's offensive (which, if you ask me, should be the default case).
What these huge online corporations try to disguise as cultural sensitivity is really a conservative streak, and they should just be honest and own up to that. You're never going to be able to satisfy everyone. And conservative cultures are not the ones deserving of our respect. The developed world is supposed to be based on principles of freedom - freedom of choice, freedom of expression. We need to stop catering to the sensibilities of our less evolved neighbors.
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
Nudism, not Prudism
Nudists don't like to associate themselves with exhibitionism for obvious reasons (e.g., it harms their public image, and attracts undesirable attention). Is nudism really just exhibitionism in disguise? No. Is there some overlap between what occurs in nudism and what exhibitionists seek? Yes, of course. Admitting that is just being honest. Nudists and exhibitionists both like to take their clothes off in front of other people. That the two do it for largely different reasons is relevant and important information, for sure, but it doesn't change the truth of the previous statement.
It is a natural fact that exhibitionists are going to be superficially drawn to nudism. So-called "true" nudists can't be entirely faulted for resenting this kind of negative attention (and I call it negative because, as alluded to above, it has a tendency to interfere with the relaxed and family-friendly atmosphere of non-sexual nude recreation, and indirectly affects the image of nudism on a larger scale). But I don't think the exhibitionists should be disparaged for their all-too-human error in thinking nudism could be an outlet for their interests. They simply need to be educated. Because the truth is, an exhibitionist can gain a lot from nudism if he simply learns the boundaries, and is capable of behaving himself.
It would be naive to believe that there aren't exhibitionists already doing this. Now, I don't think every nudist is secretly an exhibitionist. But surely some nudists, if not many of them, are not unfamiliar with the exhibitionist thrill of being naked in a public setting. It would be more accurate to say that nudists are simply the exhibitionists who know how to behave themselves (because, typically, those that don't are quickly ejected from the premises of an official nudist resort). And for those that can behave themselves, I don't see anything in the world that's wrong with such a thrill being part and parcel of the motivation and the experience of nudist recreation.
Of course, where I and most of the rest of the population differ is in my truly sex-positive outlook. I think that if the worst case scenario is somebody engaging in some kind of sexual act in view of non-consenting others, then that's really not so bad anyway. I'm not saying you aren't justified in discouraging and even punishing that kind of behavior [in places not designated for that sort of activity, where the inclusion of that activity could legitimately harm the atmosphere of the resort]. I'm just saying that if it does happen, it shouldn't be treated like a capital offense. Nobody's going to be "traumatized for life" (no, not even your kids), unless you wig out and make a big deal about it.
Furthermore, in this alarmingly litigious society (nigh bordering on being a police state), where the most bloated and life-scarring punishment is reserved for so-called "sex offenders", I think we should exercise restraint before potentially ruining a person's life over a harmless case of bad judgment, where the worst damage incurred is on the level of "offense". Obviously, I am not talking about truly serious crimes like rape, but merely daring to transgress against the socially-imposed agreement that we pretend we're not all sexual organisms constantly driven by an overpowering desire to mate (who decided this in the first place, anyway?). Can we just get real for once?
sex offender (noun)
def: a person whose sexual practices offend someone else (i.e., the entire human population)
note: the vast majority of sex offenders are unregistered
It is a natural fact that exhibitionists are going to be superficially drawn to nudism. So-called "true" nudists can't be entirely faulted for resenting this kind of negative attention (and I call it negative because, as alluded to above, it has a tendency to interfere with the relaxed and family-friendly atmosphere of non-sexual nude recreation, and indirectly affects the image of nudism on a larger scale). But I don't think the exhibitionists should be disparaged for their all-too-human error in thinking nudism could be an outlet for their interests. They simply need to be educated. Because the truth is, an exhibitionist can gain a lot from nudism if he simply learns the boundaries, and is capable of behaving himself.
It would be naive to believe that there aren't exhibitionists already doing this. Now, I don't think every nudist is secretly an exhibitionist. But surely some nudists, if not many of them, are not unfamiliar with the exhibitionist thrill of being naked in a public setting. It would be more accurate to say that nudists are simply the exhibitionists who know how to behave themselves (because, typically, those that don't are quickly ejected from the premises of an official nudist resort). And for those that can behave themselves, I don't see anything in the world that's wrong with such a thrill being part and parcel of the motivation and the experience of nudist recreation.
Of course, where I and most of the rest of the population differ is in my truly sex-positive outlook. I think that if the worst case scenario is somebody engaging in some kind of sexual act in view of non-consenting others, then that's really not so bad anyway. I'm not saying you aren't justified in discouraging and even punishing that kind of behavior [in places not designated for that sort of activity, where the inclusion of that activity could legitimately harm the atmosphere of the resort]. I'm just saying that if it does happen, it shouldn't be treated like a capital offense. Nobody's going to be "traumatized for life" (no, not even your kids), unless you wig out and make a big deal about it.
Furthermore, in this alarmingly litigious society (nigh bordering on being a police state), where the most bloated and life-scarring punishment is reserved for so-called "sex offenders", I think we should exercise restraint before potentially ruining a person's life over a harmless case of bad judgment, where the worst damage incurred is on the level of "offense". Obviously, I am not talking about truly serious crimes like rape, but merely daring to transgress against the socially-imposed agreement that we pretend we're not all sexual organisms constantly driven by an overpowering desire to mate (who decided this in the first place, anyway?). Can we just get real for once?
sex offender (noun)
def: a person whose sexual practices offend someone else (i.e., the entire human population)
note: the vast majority of sex offenders are unregistered
Friday, April 24, 2015
Try This On For Size (Cosplay Edition)
I just spent the last weekend at an anime convention, and now I'm totally buzzed and in the zone with ideas for future cosplays. So I've been shopping around, looking for pieces to complete a couple different cosplays, and I tried on a bunch of things today.
I'm looking for the perfect yellow shirt to cosplay Misty from Pokemon. Some would say that she's an overdone character, but I always enjoy seeing her cosplay at cons - it's simple, yet sexy, and I consider her a perennial favorite. I've already got shorts I like, and a pair of red suspenders. The shoes are another issue - although red Converse are a pretty good bet. But the shirt is tricky, because different styles can completely change up the look of the outfit.
This shirt has the advantage of being sleeveless, although it's full length. It's also a bit thin, and tight, and maybe not dark enough.
A shirt with sleeves is not completely out of the question. This shirt is actually a little bit better than the one I already have, as it is a tad darker, but the size was too small for me, and it was the only one I could find.
This shirt's cropped at the midriff, which is good, although as you can see, it's green. I didn't see any in yellow, unfortunately. The bare midriff is not strictly mandatory, although it does increase the sex appeal of the outfit. (And I realize I don't have the best stomach for a cropped shirt, but that's something I'm trying to work on).
Switching gears (and outfits)...
It seems a bit early yet for prom dresses (although that time is fast approaching), but I found this one-of-a-kind dress on the rack at my favorite discount store. You have to wonder what led to a dress like this going for $7. It tends to bunch up just under the bust, and it's pretty thin, to the point of highlighting the contours of your body underneath, but in my opinion, the pros outweigh the cons.
Firstly, it's a simple slip-on dress - no moving pieces (which can lead to broken zippers and things like that). And it's the sort that has no material whatsoever above the bust or below the thighs, which I love. Plus, it fits me! And the shape of the skirt is very elegant. The boobs are ever slightly padded, and the ruffles in the skirt do a great job of covering up the bulge of my package, so it looks pretty feminine on me (notwithstanding my wide shoulders). I bought it.
I'm sorry, I can't resist an opportunity to get naked in semi-public wherever I can get away with it. :p
So another character I'd like to cosplay is the elf maiden Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War, who, incidentally, was my first anime crush. It's a mildly complicated costume, if you include the armor and cape and whatnot (and I'll need to find some elf ears), but it's all gotta start with a simple green dress.
This dress has all the basic components - it's green, sleeveless, with a flowy skirt, and cinched with a belt at the waist. But beyond that, I don't like it all that much. For one thing, the skirt is too long, and the color of it is much too light and minty.
I like this dress a lot better. It's darker, a tad shorter, and the skirt is more pleated. It doesn't have a belt, but it's clearly separated at the waist, where you could easily add one. The top is pretty form-fitting, but that wouldn't even be a problem if I had a breastplate to put over top of it. This dress might have been workable for my cosplay, but, alas, the only size I could find it in is too tight for me to zip it up in the back... (I'll bet you never would have guessed if I hadn't told you, lol)
Now this dress I like. It's a deep, forest green - very fitting for an elf. I could even work with the awkward zippers. It's got sleeves, but it's not like they're too long anyway. But the skirt is not the right style. It should be pleated and flowy, not tight and restricting. Don't get me wrong, I like it, and it could work well for some other kind of elf outfit, but it doesn't seem quite right for Deedlit. On top of that, the belt just barely fits around my waist, and doesn't have enough notches for me to secure it. It's a close call, but I think I'm going to have to just keep looking...
I tried this other prom-y dress on just for the heck of it, and to my delight, it actually fit! (And wasn't broken - it has a couple spots on it, but they aren't super noticeable). It has a similar skirt as the last one, and if you didn't believe me then that I liked this kind of skirt, you can believe me now, because I bought this one. It actually looks even better in person. The ruffles down the front are very elegant, and even go some way in disguising my bulge. I don't know where I'll be able to wear it, but it was only $7, and it was worth it even if I just pull it out and wear it around the house for fun from time to time.
Back in my street clothes - the clothes I came into the store wearing. This is the yellow shirt I already have, by the way, if you want to compare it to the others I tried on above.
And with my hoodie zipped up, and my jacket on. It was actually pretty cold today. Crazy fluctuating spring weather! One day it's warm and sunny, the next it's cold and rainy... Once I button my jacket up, it will once again look to the unsuspecting passerby as if I'm wearing nothing underneath! How exciting. The funny thing is, I'm covered up more than if I weren't wearing my jacket, yet the jacket gives the illusion that I'm unusually exposed. Human psychology is a fascinating thing.
I'm looking for the perfect yellow shirt to cosplay Misty from Pokemon. Some would say that she's an overdone character, but I always enjoy seeing her cosplay at cons - it's simple, yet sexy, and I consider her a perennial favorite. I've already got shorts I like, and a pair of red suspenders. The shoes are another issue - although red Converse are a pretty good bet. But the shirt is tricky, because different styles can completely change up the look of the outfit.
This shirt has the advantage of being sleeveless, although it's full length. It's also a bit thin, and tight, and maybe not dark enough.
A shirt with sleeves is not completely out of the question. This shirt is actually a little bit better than the one I already have, as it is a tad darker, but the size was too small for me, and it was the only one I could find.
This shirt's cropped at the midriff, which is good, although as you can see, it's green. I didn't see any in yellow, unfortunately. The bare midriff is not strictly mandatory, although it does increase the sex appeal of the outfit. (And I realize I don't have the best stomach for a cropped shirt, but that's something I'm trying to work on).
Switching gears (and outfits)...
It seems a bit early yet for prom dresses (although that time is fast approaching), but I found this one-of-a-kind dress on the rack at my favorite discount store. You have to wonder what led to a dress like this going for $7. It tends to bunch up just under the bust, and it's pretty thin, to the point of highlighting the contours of your body underneath, but in my opinion, the pros outweigh the cons.
Firstly, it's a simple slip-on dress - no moving pieces (which can lead to broken zippers and things like that). And it's the sort that has no material whatsoever above the bust or below the thighs, which I love. Plus, it fits me! And the shape of the skirt is very elegant. The boobs are ever slightly padded, and the ruffles in the skirt do a great job of covering up the bulge of my package, so it looks pretty feminine on me (notwithstanding my wide shoulders). I bought it.
I'm sorry, I can't resist an opportunity to get naked in semi-public wherever I can get away with it. :p
So another character I'd like to cosplay is the elf maiden Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War, who, incidentally, was my first anime crush. It's a mildly complicated costume, if you include the armor and cape and whatnot (and I'll need to find some elf ears), but it's all gotta start with a simple green dress.
This dress has all the basic components - it's green, sleeveless, with a flowy skirt, and cinched with a belt at the waist. But beyond that, I don't like it all that much. For one thing, the skirt is too long, and the color of it is much too light and minty.
I like this dress a lot better. It's darker, a tad shorter, and the skirt is more pleated. It doesn't have a belt, but it's clearly separated at the waist, where you could easily add one. The top is pretty form-fitting, but that wouldn't even be a problem if I had a breastplate to put over top of it. This dress might have been workable for my cosplay, but, alas, the only size I could find it in is too tight for me to zip it up in the back... (I'll bet you never would have guessed if I hadn't told you, lol)
Now this dress I like. It's a deep, forest green - very fitting for an elf. I could even work with the awkward zippers. It's got sleeves, but it's not like they're too long anyway. But the skirt is not the right style. It should be pleated and flowy, not tight and restricting. Don't get me wrong, I like it, and it could work well for some other kind of elf outfit, but it doesn't seem quite right for Deedlit. On top of that, the belt just barely fits around my waist, and doesn't have enough notches for me to secure it. It's a close call, but I think I'm going to have to just keep looking...
I tried this other prom-y dress on just for the heck of it, and to my delight, it actually fit! (And wasn't broken - it has a couple spots on it, but they aren't super noticeable). It has a similar skirt as the last one, and if you didn't believe me then that I liked this kind of skirt, you can believe me now, because I bought this one. It actually looks even better in person. The ruffles down the front are very elegant, and even go some way in disguising my bulge. I don't know where I'll be able to wear it, but it was only $7, and it was worth it even if I just pull it out and wear it around the house for fun from time to time.
Back in my street clothes - the clothes I came into the store wearing. This is the yellow shirt I already have, by the way, if you want to compare it to the others I tried on above.
And with my hoodie zipped up, and my jacket on. It was actually pretty cold today. Crazy fluctuating spring weather! One day it's warm and sunny, the next it's cold and rainy... Once I button my jacket up, it will once again look to the unsuspecting passerby as if I'm wearing nothing underneath! How exciting. The funny thing is, I'm covered up more than if I weren't wearing my jacket, yet the jacket gives the illusion that I'm unusually exposed. Human psychology is a fascinating thing.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Cosplay Report
So, last weekend was the big anime convention I attend every spring where I do the majority of my notable cosplay (including the pink dress version of Chii, and my sexy no jutsu cloud bikini, either or both of which you might be familiar with - you can see pics here), and I'm still recovering from the excitement of that adventure. You may be disappointed to hear that the cosplay(s) I was planning for this year fell through at the last minute (the bandages I was using for my new Chii cosplay ended up giving me an unsightly rash that I then had to keep covered up for aesthetic reasons), but I still had a great time, and nevertheless had an opportunity to wear some exciting outfits picked out at the last minute.
Last year I cosplayed White Rock Shooter, which is basically a palette-swapped (to take advantage of my blonde hair) version of a character known as Black Rock Shooter, who wears an ultra sexy outfit consisting of short shorts, a bikini top, a long cape/hoodie, and boots/heels. A lot of people know Black Rock Shooter, but White Rock Shooter is a bit more obscure, as she is the final boss in a PSP game based on the character, that I don't think very many people have played. Nevertheless, it's a fun outfit for me to wear, and so I opted to wear it again this year when my other cosplay plans fell through. I had to swap out the heels for more comfortable flip flops though, because last year, those shoes rubbed my feet raw.
It's worth noting that the con overhauled its rules this year, making them simpler and largely more agreeable. The standard of dress policy has been scaled back considerably, eliminating a number of convoluted rules and sexist double standards. Now it pretty much boils down to "genitalia must be reasonably covered at all times." I'm inspired to take advantage of this reasonable and sane policy, and do some cosplays next year that might not fly under a more conservative regime. I'm gonna do my best to work on my figure in the meantime so that I can feel more confident flaunting what I've got.
The con has also cracked down on harassment, almost certainly in light of recent PR snafus at other conventions. Usually I'm uncomfortable with excessive rule-mongering, but in this case it's a good thing. Fliers describing the new anti-harassment policy were posted liberally throughout all the bathrooms in the convention center (and inside of all the stalls), to make sure everyone was aware of it. My favorite part is the inclusion of "bathroom policing" as a form of harassment that will not be tolerated. Bathroom policing occurs when a person is harassed for using the "wrong" bathroom, and is frequently used to discriminate against transgender persons.
If you've followed any of my writings on transgender issues, you'll know that using public restrooms is a source of endless anxiety for me. To be honest, I don't feel comfortable in either bathroom; I feel vulnerable in the men's room, yet I don't feel welcome in the women's room. It's confusing enough for myself trying to figure out what sex or gender I am (and I'm still not sure), so I can't imagine trying to convince someone else. Am I really male, or really female? The truth is, I'm neither. I often present as female, yet on closer inspection, the sex on my birth certificate makes itself apparent. I don't belong with the men because I dress like and identify with girls (and some men would use that as an excuse to hurt me), but I don't belong with women either because I have a penis (and some women would use that as an excuse to label me a predator).
The con environment is a particularly interesting one, because it tends to skew slightly liberal in terms of alternative sexual orientations and gender identities (hell, we're talking about a community that includes furries, and while not everyone there appreciates them, I'd wager a considerably larger percentage than the general population does). And there's lots of crossplay going on (people cosplaying as characters that don't match their own sex or gender). In some cases, it's just people cosplaying a character they like, sex/gender be damned, and in others, they do it for the lulz. In those cases, these people are probably cisgendered, and don't have any problem deciding on which bathroom to use.
Flashback to the year I dressed as Chii in her elegant (and extravagant) pink dress. There were no "family restrooms" at the hotel where the con was being held that year, so I opted to get dressed in the men's room. While I was putting on the finishing touches while standing in front of the mirror over the sinks, several men walked into the restroom during that time, and got a shock. Many of them turned around and walked back out the door to double check that they had walked into the right restroom. Some of them shrugged it off and just went in anyway. This kind of thing is actually not that uncommon at a convention like this. And it didn't bother me. I don't mind playing with people's expectations. And the con population is probably much less likely to harbor the sort of people who would beat a guy up for wearing a dress.
Now jump ahead four years. Femininity is not a costume I put on when I want to play a role. Even when I'm out of costume, my everyday clothes that I wear are designed for women. In that sense, I'm not even crossplaying, because I identify with the gender of the character I'm cosplaying, the same way that I'm not really crossdressing, because I'm wearing the clothes that match my mental gender. Of course, a person who doesn't know me and just notices that I have a deep voice or broad shoulders or a bulge in my shorts isn't going to know that. Nevertheless, I'm very pleased that con policy states that I can use the women's restroom, and nobody is allowed to harass me for it. I still didn't feel perfectly comfortable doing it, because social attitudes take time to change, but having a firm rule in place is an excellent sign of progress. I do, however, still prefer maximum privacy when using the bathroom, and since it also reduces my anxiety about being judged, I opted to continue to use the family restroom more often than not.
This is how I had to wear my White Rock Shooter cosplay this year.
This is how I would have worn it if it weren't for my rash (which thankfully doesn't show up too much in these pictures).
This is how I could have worn it if I started to get a little warm (and you can bet I'd have taken advantage of the opportunity).
Matching underwear! Note: the costume is not actually designed to be worn this way. :p
Just for the heck of it, because yes, I'm a pervert. (But that doesn't make me a creep!)
My goal in the Dealer's Room on Friday was to go through the various booths and find something I could buy to wear on Saturday as a last minute outfit. I considered getting another schoolgirl uniform, since I've grown out of my last one, and I also looked at some really pretty miniskirt kimonos (sexy and stylish!), but those were pretty expensive. I ended up choosing an Alice dress that I was able to try on in a little secluded booth right there in the middle of the Exhibition Hall floor, with the crowds buzzing all around me. It fit me great, and looked really cute, so I bought it!
I wore my hair in braided pigtails, for maximum cuteness. :3
And I wore the dress with a thong, because what else are you going to wear under it, right? It's not like I was expecting anyone to get a peek at my panties, although every time I got up after sitting down, the rush of air on my backside made it feel like my skirt was flipped up and I was flashing everyone behind me. I'm pretty sure I was just being paranoid though. (And if you think I'm a pervert, you should have seen what some of those girls were wearing!)
Out on the town. Not that I think you don't trust me. :p This picture also gives you a glimpse of the adorable frilly socks I wore with the outfit. I would have killed to have worn a pair of mary janes with them, but we couldn't get any at the last minute (and it's really hard to find women's shoes in my size).
I wore what is just an everyday outfit for me on Sunday, but with a cute Hello Kitty shirt, to keep it in the Japanese theme of the con. I didn't get much attention on my outfits this year, though for understandable reasons. But when I asked one cosplayer for a picture on Sunday (she was wearing a bandage cosplay very much like the one I had failed to make), the young guy who was with her told me, "by the way, you're beautiful". It caught me off guard, but I was totally flattered. And on Saturday, when I was in my Alice dress, one girl told me that seeing my cosplay each year was always the highlight of the weekend for her, as I always wear the cutest things.
I suppose it's fitting, because I never cared too much about popularity (I probably wouldn't know how to handle the attention). I'm not mainstream in any way, shape, or form. But if I can reach just a few people - individuals on the fringe, like me - on a significant level, whether to expand their experiences, build their confidence to try an alternative lifestyle, or just to brighten their day, that makes it all worthwhile for me. :-)
Last year I cosplayed White Rock Shooter, which is basically a palette-swapped (to take advantage of my blonde hair) version of a character known as Black Rock Shooter, who wears an ultra sexy outfit consisting of short shorts, a bikini top, a long cape/hoodie, and boots/heels. A lot of people know Black Rock Shooter, but White Rock Shooter is a bit more obscure, as she is the final boss in a PSP game based on the character, that I don't think very many people have played. Nevertheless, it's a fun outfit for me to wear, and so I opted to wear it again this year when my other cosplay plans fell through. I had to swap out the heels for more comfortable flip flops though, because last year, those shoes rubbed my feet raw.
 |
| White Rock Shooter, minus the hoodie, from last year |
It's worth noting that the con overhauled its rules this year, making them simpler and largely more agreeable. The standard of dress policy has been scaled back considerably, eliminating a number of convoluted rules and sexist double standards. Now it pretty much boils down to "genitalia must be reasonably covered at all times." I'm inspired to take advantage of this reasonable and sane policy, and do some cosplays next year that might not fly under a more conservative regime. I'm gonna do my best to work on my figure in the meantime so that I can feel more confident flaunting what I've got.
The con has also cracked down on harassment, almost certainly in light of recent PR snafus at other conventions. Usually I'm uncomfortable with excessive rule-mongering, but in this case it's a good thing. Fliers describing the new anti-harassment policy were posted liberally throughout all the bathrooms in the convention center (and inside of all the stalls), to make sure everyone was aware of it. My favorite part is the inclusion of "bathroom policing" as a form of harassment that will not be tolerated. Bathroom policing occurs when a person is harassed for using the "wrong" bathroom, and is frequently used to discriminate against transgender persons.
If you've followed any of my writings on transgender issues, you'll know that using public restrooms is a source of endless anxiety for me. To be honest, I don't feel comfortable in either bathroom; I feel vulnerable in the men's room, yet I don't feel welcome in the women's room. It's confusing enough for myself trying to figure out what sex or gender I am (and I'm still not sure), so I can't imagine trying to convince someone else. Am I really male, or really female? The truth is, I'm neither. I often present as female, yet on closer inspection, the sex on my birth certificate makes itself apparent. I don't belong with the men because I dress like and identify with girls (and some men would use that as an excuse to hurt me), but I don't belong with women either because I have a penis (and some women would use that as an excuse to label me a predator).
The con environment is a particularly interesting one, because it tends to skew slightly liberal in terms of alternative sexual orientations and gender identities (hell, we're talking about a community that includes furries, and while not everyone there appreciates them, I'd wager a considerably larger percentage than the general population does). And there's lots of crossplay going on (people cosplaying as characters that don't match their own sex or gender). In some cases, it's just people cosplaying a character they like, sex/gender be damned, and in others, they do it for the lulz. In those cases, these people are probably cisgendered, and don't have any problem deciding on which bathroom to use.
 |
| My Chii cosplay from 2011 |
Flashback to the year I dressed as Chii in her elegant (and extravagant) pink dress. There were no "family restrooms" at the hotel where the con was being held that year, so I opted to get dressed in the men's room. While I was putting on the finishing touches while standing in front of the mirror over the sinks, several men walked into the restroom during that time, and got a shock. Many of them turned around and walked back out the door to double check that they had walked into the right restroom. Some of them shrugged it off and just went in anyway. This kind of thing is actually not that uncommon at a convention like this. And it didn't bother me. I don't mind playing with people's expectations. And the con population is probably much less likely to harbor the sort of people who would beat a guy up for wearing a dress.
Now jump ahead four years. Femininity is not a costume I put on when I want to play a role. Even when I'm out of costume, my everyday clothes that I wear are designed for women. In that sense, I'm not even crossplaying, because I identify with the gender of the character I'm cosplaying, the same way that I'm not really crossdressing, because I'm wearing the clothes that match my mental gender. Of course, a person who doesn't know me and just notices that I have a deep voice or broad shoulders or a bulge in my shorts isn't going to know that. Nevertheless, I'm very pleased that con policy states that I can use the women's restroom, and nobody is allowed to harass me for it. I still didn't feel perfectly comfortable doing it, because social attitudes take time to change, but having a firm rule in place is an excellent sign of progress. I do, however, still prefer maximum privacy when using the bathroom, and since it also reduces my anxiety about being judged, I opted to continue to use the family restroom more often than not.
This is how I had to wear my White Rock Shooter cosplay this year.
This is how I would have worn it if it weren't for my rash (which thankfully doesn't show up too much in these pictures).
This is how I could have worn it if I started to get a little warm (and you can bet I'd have taken advantage of the opportunity).
Matching underwear! Note: the costume is not actually designed to be worn this way. :p
Just for the heck of it, because yes, I'm a pervert. (But that doesn't make me a creep!)
My goal in the Dealer's Room on Friday was to go through the various booths and find something I could buy to wear on Saturday as a last minute outfit. I considered getting another schoolgirl uniform, since I've grown out of my last one, and I also looked at some really pretty miniskirt kimonos (sexy and stylish!), but those were pretty expensive. I ended up choosing an Alice dress that I was able to try on in a little secluded booth right there in the middle of the Exhibition Hall floor, with the crowds buzzing all around me. It fit me great, and looked really cute, so I bought it!
I wore my hair in braided pigtails, for maximum cuteness. :3
And I wore the dress with a thong, because what else are you going to wear under it, right? It's not like I was expecting anyone to get a peek at my panties, although every time I got up after sitting down, the rush of air on my backside made it feel like my skirt was flipped up and I was flashing everyone behind me. I'm pretty sure I was just being paranoid though. (And if you think I'm a pervert, you should have seen what some of those girls were wearing!)
Out on the town. Not that I think you don't trust me. :p This picture also gives you a glimpse of the adorable frilly socks I wore with the outfit. I would have killed to have worn a pair of mary janes with them, but we couldn't get any at the last minute (and it's really hard to find women's shoes in my size).
I wore what is just an everyday outfit for me on Sunday, but with a cute Hello Kitty shirt, to keep it in the Japanese theme of the con. I didn't get much attention on my outfits this year, though for understandable reasons. But when I asked one cosplayer for a picture on Sunday (she was wearing a bandage cosplay very much like the one I had failed to make), the young guy who was with her told me, "by the way, you're beautiful". It caught me off guard, but I was totally flattered. And on Saturday, when I was in my Alice dress, one girl told me that seeing my cosplay each year was always the highlight of the weekend for her, as I always wear the cutest things.
I suppose it's fitting, because I never cared too much about popularity (I probably wouldn't know how to handle the attention). I'm not mainstream in any way, shape, or form. But if I can reach just a few people - individuals on the fringe, like me - on a significant level, whether to expand their experiences, build their confidence to try an alternative lifestyle, or just to brighten their day, that makes it all worthwhile for me. :-)
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Reminiscence
At the end of the day yesterday, I came home and got undressed, and started modeling my thong underwear, since they're (obviously) sexy, but I haven't taken many opportunities to photograph them so far. I was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, at night, with the rest of the lights in the apartment off - which actually invokes a number of memories for me (especially Other Joys) - but this time, in particular, I was reminded of one of my very first shots in the Daily Nudes project from 2008 that really got me started on the track of nude photography.
In fact, I think it was my Day 1 photo. I had just started committing myself to regularly taking nude pictures - before then it was something I only did every once in a long while, when the rare impulse took me. I was just beginning my experience of home nudism in earnest then; it was still something I kept mostly secret, and so I had to limit myself to wandering around the house at night when everyone else was asleep, and rarely (and carefully!) slipping outside in the middle of the night.
This picture, which you might say started a landslide (in a good way), wasn't anything serious. I remember thinking that night, as I snuck into the kitchen after the rest of the house got quiet, what it would be like for someone else to stumble upon me there, nude (as I was newly in the habit of doing at the time). So I set up my camera to get a picture of it, and there you have it. Very candid - even documentary-like, you might say. -_^
Seven years later, and look at me now. I've grown a lot, but there are still a lot of things that haven't changed. I'm much more experienced both as a model and a photographer now. And I'm still taking nude self-portraits regularly. Although, I'm much more confident about my nudism, as demonstrated by the differences in pose between these two photographs. I hide it only insomuch as the law and social customs dictate (with maybe just a little bit of wiggle room), and I certainly don't keep it a secret.
Also, on the topic of "daily nudes", when I took the first picture - early in my experience of discovering nudism - I was making a conscious effort to be nude more often (that was actually my New Year's Resolution for 2008). Now, there isn't a day that goes by (and hasn't for years) where I'm not casually nude at some point (and not just in bed or the shower, either). And most days, I spend more time nude than I do dressed.
It's been a hell of a journey, with lots of memories collected along the way. It's been a lot of fun, too. And - perhaps most importantly - I have no intention of letting up anytime soon.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Outfit of the Day (#ootd)
For once, I actually got my BFF to take a picture of me "in situ", so today you get an Outfit of the Day exactly as it was, out and about, at the store. Obviously, I picked this outfit - with delight - because it looks quite like I'm wearing nothing at all underneath my jacket. There aren't a whole lot of opportunities when the weather's mild enough (during the day) for me to wear a really skimpy outfit, but cool enough (at night) to throw on my jacket. In this case, I was wearing the shortest shorts I own, which are definitely shorter than my jacket. And, by serendipitous coincidence, the shirt I was wearing was low cut enough that you could only just barely see it peeking through the neckline of my jacket. In lieu of "real", covered shoes, the flip flops, of course, add to the overall effect of barely wearing anything at all.
Much as I hate to dispel the illusion, this shot I took back home reveals the perfectly decent (or at least legal) outfit I was wearing under the jacket. Although it's not strictly within the rules, this would be a fine outfit to wear on No Pants Day, which is coming up soon, on the first Friday in May. It's so hard to gather up the courage to actually go around town in your underwear, with no pants on for coverage. Especially when you're the only one who celebrates it within a 100 mile radius (or more), and so instead of being a participant in a goofy tradition, you're more likely to be viewed as a total eccentric or, worse yet, a complete pervert. (Not that there's anything wrong with being a pervert, but there can be repercussions from advertising that fact in public, depending on the social environment).
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Male Nude Torso
(Because erections are a completely normal and regular occurrence for healthy males).
This would be another good example to file under the heading of "fine art erotica". But I'd also like to use it to talk about the conceptual difference between color and black and white photography. Obviously, choosing whether to shoot in color or black and white (or, in modern terms, whether or not to apply a black and white filter) depends on the artist's subjective judgment. Though there is a presumption among some (a group which may include professionals and amateurs alike) that black and white photography is more "artistic", it is undeniable that great artistic works have been accomplished in both black and white and color, so either choice is legitimate.
Black and white may have certain artistic advantages over color, by emphasizing (for example) things like lines and shadows, but it's not as though color is devoid of artistic potential. Try telling that to a color painter. And while in the past it may have been true that black and white photography possessed an air of sophistication due to it generally not having as much appeal to the amateur snapshot non-artist (I'm speculating here), in this day and age when anyone can quickly and easily apply a black and white filter to a bad shot and call it "art", I am - as a fan of color photography - wary of the mindset that presumes a shot's artistic value based on such superficial attributes as whether it is mono- or polychromatic.
In any case, some shots do legitimately look better (more artistic, aesthetically speaking) in color, while others look better in black and white. Sometimes - and this is not terribly uncommon - I come across shots that look pretty good either way. And generally I like to err on the side of color; although I am certainly not above creating black and white art, and I think there are times when it is definitely called for. But this particular example emphasizes one of the reasons I like color photography so much.
The black and white shot is, dare I say, more artistic. But the color shot has something that the black and white shot doesn't have. And it may not be strictly an artistic quality, but since what I'm producing is not pure art, but erotic art (which, I guess by some standards would preclude it from being designated as "fine" art, although it's no less fine), it is a quality that I find valuable. And that is: the color photograph looks more real, and less abstracted from the real world as the black and white shot is.
In particular, the color of the skin really brings the shot alive, as if to say to the viewer, this is not some abstract object constructed in the mind of an artist; this is a real, live, breathing thing - it's a person that is really naked, and is really hard, and isn't that pretty exciting? So I think that either of these shots could be preferable depending on your perspective - whether you're more inclined toward artistic value or erotic value, and so I couldn't say that either one is objectively better than the other.
Here I provide a closeup photograph of my [flaccid] penis, in profile. Generally, penises don't interest me all that much from an aesthetic point of view (although they do carry strong potential for sexual symbolism). By and large, I generally think they're gross, and unappealing to look at. I have, nevertheless, been told that I have a particularly attractive penis (by whatever standards these things are judged), and I can certainly understand how its standup ability to rise to the occasion could inspire awe and excitement in an interested viewer.
However, I do not present it here so much as an object to be admired (although it is, of course, available for that purpose to those who'd like to do so). I wouldn't present it at all if I didn't think the image had any aesthetic/compositional appeal - surely there are enough poor quality "dick pics" on the internet already. I present it, rather, as something of a challenge to the taboo against depictions of the male genitalia, which is probably in part inspired by the general lack of aesthetic appeal of the organ, and exacerbated by all those poor quality dick pics that probably don't do the subject justice.
I suppose you could say that I'm posting this picture (and the occasional other ones like it that I've taken and shared in the past), to, in a sense, "exonerate" the organ, but mainly just to challenge the taboo. It may be in society's best interest to discourage non-artistically-minded horny males from posting blurry snapshots of their dicks to the internet, but it is definitely not in society's best interest to discourage serious artists from depicting and exploring this subject in their art. And if it's the case that you have to put up with the bad in order to allow the good, well, that's just the principle of free speech right there. So you can consider it a political statement. Dick pics for free speech!
This would be another good example to file under the heading of "fine art erotica". But I'd also like to use it to talk about the conceptual difference between color and black and white photography. Obviously, choosing whether to shoot in color or black and white (or, in modern terms, whether or not to apply a black and white filter) depends on the artist's subjective judgment. Though there is a presumption among some (a group which may include professionals and amateurs alike) that black and white photography is more "artistic", it is undeniable that great artistic works have been accomplished in both black and white and color, so either choice is legitimate.
Black and white may have certain artistic advantages over color, by emphasizing (for example) things like lines and shadows, but it's not as though color is devoid of artistic potential. Try telling that to a color painter. And while in the past it may have been true that black and white photography possessed an air of sophistication due to it generally not having as much appeal to the amateur snapshot non-artist (I'm speculating here), in this day and age when anyone can quickly and easily apply a black and white filter to a bad shot and call it "art", I am - as a fan of color photography - wary of the mindset that presumes a shot's artistic value based on such superficial attributes as whether it is mono- or polychromatic.
In any case, some shots do legitimately look better (more artistic, aesthetically speaking) in color, while others look better in black and white. Sometimes - and this is not terribly uncommon - I come across shots that look pretty good either way. And generally I like to err on the side of color; although I am certainly not above creating black and white art, and I think there are times when it is definitely called for. But this particular example emphasizes one of the reasons I like color photography so much.
The black and white shot is, dare I say, more artistic. But the color shot has something that the black and white shot doesn't have. And it may not be strictly an artistic quality, but since what I'm producing is not pure art, but erotic art (which, I guess by some standards would preclude it from being designated as "fine" art, although it's no less fine), it is a quality that I find valuable. And that is: the color photograph looks more real, and less abstracted from the real world as the black and white shot is.
In particular, the color of the skin really brings the shot alive, as if to say to the viewer, this is not some abstract object constructed in the mind of an artist; this is a real, live, breathing thing - it's a person that is really naked, and is really hard, and isn't that pretty exciting? So I think that either of these shots could be preferable depending on your perspective - whether you're more inclined toward artistic value or erotic value, and so I couldn't say that either one is objectively better than the other.
Here I provide a closeup photograph of my [flaccid] penis, in profile. Generally, penises don't interest me all that much from an aesthetic point of view (although they do carry strong potential for sexual symbolism). By and large, I generally think they're gross, and unappealing to look at. I have, nevertheless, been told that I have a particularly attractive penis (by whatever standards these things are judged), and I can certainly understand how its standup ability to rise to the occasion could inspire awe and excitement in an interested viewer.
However, I do not present it here so much as an object to be admired (although it is, of course, available for that purpose to those who'd like to do so). I wouldn't present it at all if I didn't think the image had any aesthetic/compositional appeal - surely there are enough poor quality "dick pics" on the internet already. I present it, rather, as something of a challenge to the taboo against depictions of the male genitalia, which is probably in part inspired by the general lack of aesthetic appeal of the organ, and exacerbated by all those poor quality dick pics that probably don't do the subject justice.
I suppose you could say that I'm posting this picture (and the occasional other ones like it that I've taken and shared in the past), to, in a sense, "exonerate" the organ, but mainly just to challenge the taboo. It may be in society's best interest to discourage non-artistically-minded horny males from posting blurry snapshots of their dicks to the internet, but it is definitely not in society's best interest to discourage serious artists from depicting and exploring this subject in their art. And if it's the case that you have to put up with the bad in order to allow the good, well, that's just the principle of free speech right there. So you can consider it a political statement. Dick pics for free speech!
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Outfit of the Day (#ootd)
This kinda seems a little redundant after my Wardrobe shoot, but hey, it's still fun to do.
You can see here, for the first time, my new purse! I really liked my old pink purse, but the strap broke recently, and so I had to find a new one. It's just as well - I really like my new purse, and it actually works a little better for me in a practical sense. It's from Selena Gomez's Dream Out Loud line, and it has the word "Love" on the front in shiny, silver letters. So, still very cute and girly!
And here's a bathroom selfie, just for fun:
For once I actually remembered to wipe the mirror clean before taking pictures in it! I had this funny idea that I could print out little notes with tips on how to improve bathroom selfies, and then stick them in mirrors in women's public restrooms all over town. But I don't know what other sort of tips I'd include...
What about something like this -
Public Service Announcement:
For better bathroom selfies, please remember to...
* wipe the mirror clean
* disable your camera's flash
* remove your clothes
* hold the camera steady
* arch your back and suck in your gut
* avoid duck lips and peace signs
Anyway, a lot of people disparage bathroom selfies, but I think they're awesome. (Bonus points if you show some skin!). And if too many of them are amateurish and poor in quality, that doesn't mean they should be abolished, that just means people could use some tips to make them better! Exploiting human nature is more profitable than fighting it. -_^
You can see here, for the first time, my new purse! I really liked my old pink purse, but the strap broke recently, and so I had to find a new one. It's just as well - I really like my new purse, and it actually works a little better for me in a practical sense. It's from Selena Gomez's Dream Out Loud line, and it has the word "Love" on the front in shiny, silver letters. So, still very cute and girly!
And here's a bathroom selfie, just for fun:
For once I actually remembered to wipe the mirror clean before taking pictures in it! I had this funny idea that I could print out little notes with tips on how to improve bathroom selfies, and then stick them in mirrors in women's public restrooms all over town. But I don't know what other sort of tips I'd include...
What about something like this -
Public Service Announcement:
For better bathroom selfies, please remember to...
* wipe the mirror clean
* disable your camera's flash
* remove your clothes
* hold the camera steady
* arch your back and suck in your gut
* avoid duck lips and peace signs
Anyway, a lot of people disparage bathroom selfies, but I think they're awesome. (Bonus points if you show some skin!). And if too many of them are amateurish and poor in quality, that doesn't mean they should be abolished, that just means people could use some tips to make them better! Exploiting human nature is more profitable than fighting it. -_^
Monday, April 6, 2015
Gender Gap
In the erotic modeling business, it's not unheard of for women to be as much as 10,000 times as popular as men. That means that men must work 10,000 times as hard (and usually must be willing to go further - e.g., explicit rather than suggestive nudes, hardcore rather than softcore porn) for a much smaller fanbase, which usually consists of an overwhelming majority of gay men in favor of straight women. Therefore, going on the assumption that most people are straight (which I think is probably accurate), for most men, unlike women, erotic modeling involves catering to an audience whose gender is not even the one they're predominantly attracted to! Oh, how much easier it would be if I were a woman. Now that's what I call a feminist issue.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
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