Friday, June 17, 2016

Try This On For Size (Topfree Edition)

Welcome to another edition of Try This On For Size, in which I try on a series of bikini bottoms. Why just the bottoms? Honestly, because sometimes I feel like a prepubescent girl - bras and bikini tops serve no purpose on my relatively flat chest. In all seriousness, I did try on a few tops, but I didn't find any I absolutely loved, and none of them actually matched the bottoms I had picked up (it was a real mix-and-match crap shoot). Plus - who am I kidding? - the topless look is closer to being naked, and thus much sexier!

File these under "utterly impractical". Not that they aren't workable (and they certainly look great on me), but modern society is having a hard enough time dealing with a man in a fully contained speedo, let alone a cute pair of bikini bottoms that only mostly holds him in. (Why are only women allowed to put their bodies on display like pieces of meat)? My friend is trying to convince me that I have an addiction to buying clothes I will never have an opportunity to wear. But can you blame me? What kind of world do we live in that I have no outlet - nowhere to go - where I can dress up to look super fricking hot? Without worrying about standards of decency, and adhering to gender stereotypes? I mean, would that be so terrible? I think we need more of that in this world, and not less. Are you with me or against me?

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