Monday, December 1, 2014

Cyber Monday

I must be a pervert, because whenever I hear the word "cyber", I think of cybersex. Naturally, it cracks me up when I hear people talking about Cyber Monday every year. But, following in line with my perversion of Election Day, this seems like a perfect holiday to celebrate everything to do with internet sex! Even if you don't have somebody to chat up (x-rated style) on the internet today, or aren't keen on hunting for a willing stranger, this would still be a fine opportunity to masturbate to some internet porn. I know, you probably do that every other day of the week (:p), but this time, if somebody catches you, you can just tell them you're celebrating Cyber(sex) Monday!

And before you ask, I must confess that I don't really enjoy cybersex, personally. I'd much rather watch or do than narrate sex. Cybering is too socially-oriented, and I am a very visual person. I would prefer, instead, to swap sexting pictures with some attractive exhibitionists. And I say that having some experience cybering in the past. When I was a teenager, in the days when "chat rooms" were still a thing, I had an ephemeral relationship with a particular girl, and we spent much of our time chatting together engaged in cybersex. Inexperienced as I was in the realm of sex, it was very exciting for me, and was the catalyst for my own true sexual awakening, as before that I had no idea how to "take care of myself" whenever I felt horny.

Me at 18, and ten years later.

Not much later, during the course of a tumultuous long distance relationship with a girl I had paired up with before my high school graduation, I had the opportunity once or twice to engage in some phone sex (presumably the pre-digital age version of cybering). That relationship also involved some picture trading, which gave birth to my interest in erotic self-portraiture, as I have described before. But it wasn't until several years later, after graduating from college, that I got the bulk of my experience engaging in cybersex, in the realm of Second Life.

And what that experience taught me was that I don't really like cybersex all that much. I created an avatar in Second Life and, pervert that I am, delighted in watching her engage in sex on screen on the various sexual position poseballs. For me, finding someone to "cyber" with was really just a matter of finding someone who would pose with me, but, to my disappointment, most people could care less about the posing, and would even go so far as to cyber completely by chat, as if the avatars didn't make a difference. And, frankly, I wasn't interested in getting a stranger off through chat, I wanted to watch my avatar having sex!

But, in the process of learning all this, I had to engage in a lot of more and less satisfying cybersex with people whose real world appearance (or even gender - though I suspect many of them were men, both those with male avatars and otherwise) I would never discover. All the time, I should mention, I presented myself as female which, entirely aside from any motivation to trick people, provided me great insight into how women are treated by men (especially sexually), and was also a catalyst in my real life transformation from male-presenting to female-presenting.

Obviously, I was propositioned a lot, since I designed my avatar after what I myself desire in women - she was a hot, young, skinny, flirty blonde (although I occasionally mixed up her appearance) who dressed like a slut, and loved to take her clothes off. Yes, a lot of the attention was single-minded, and not all of it respectful, but on the other hand, I had some men who would satisfy themselves just for the chance to sit and chat with me (not about sex) for an hour, some even willing to give me gifts without expectation of anything in return - even getting to see me again! Experiencing how men treat women while also understanding the male psychology behind that treatment is enlightening, although it doesn't inspire any more positive a reaction to the petty whining you hear so much of these days by so-called "feminists", who merely lack a critical understanding of human sexual interaction.

Some of my more "colorful" cyber experiences in Second Life involve: a lesbian threesome (albeit one girl was a hermaphrodite with a retractable penis) resulting in a daisy chain that resembled Neapolitan ice cream; a sisterly romance with another faerie (I would often put wings on and spend time being a faerie), whose keeper would also flirt with me; a kindly gentleman who gave me a sensual massage and finished our sexual encounter by placing a finger in my anus (which, at the time, still relatively inexperienced in real world sexual encounters, I didn't quite understand the point of); and a brute of a man that I don't think spoke much English, who took me to a dank warehouse at the back of some dirty alley, shackled me to a bare, blood-spattered mattress, and demanded that I scream while he fucked me raw. I remind you that all of these experiences were virtual in nature and didn't involve my actual, physical body.

A lot has changed since those days, although I would still enjoy logging in every now and then if the program a) had better graphics b) that don't take so long to load, and c) gave you something to do in-world beyond socializing with other players and simply exploring (although I do like exploring). I'm also a little bit concerned about censorship creep, since this is a virtual world that exists in people's imaginations, where you should be able to get your freak on without discrimination, yet there are still people insisting upon acting as the moral police. But I stopped paying attention to that news years ago.

Nowadays I'm more or less content to dress and groom myself like a girl, and reap the exhibitionist thrill of posting sexy pictures of myself on the internet. Although one of my deepest fantasy desires is still to have the ability to mold my body into any shape I want, like you can in some games and virtual worlds (like Second Life), so I could be a true girl down to every last detail. But until technology reaches that point (and I'm not holding my breath), I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time indulging my sexual interests on the internet. A wonderful invention, no? And today - Cyber Monday - is the day to celebrate its most pleasurable application!


  1. Wow! This Second Life seems pretty interesting. I'm curious to find out more about it.

    Mostly, though, I wanted to tell you how much I like the final photo in the post. It's really appealing, especially for someone like me who finds you very attractive.

    First, I like the bluish glow from the monitor on your face, shoulders and chest, and then the transition to the beautiful golden color of your hair, and on to the lovely, warm skin tones on your back and legs.

    Looking at this picture makes me think about the guy you mentioned from Second Life, the one who gave you a sensual massage. Lucky guy! I know I would enjoy giving you a sensual massage – and I've never even touched a guy in a sensual way before. I'd love to try it with you, though, and I'd work very hard (oops, pun intended!) to make it enjoyable for you.

    Another thought that occurred to me on looking at this photo is that your pose – especially with your foot up in the air – makes you look like a cute, sexy faerie (without the wings) laying on the shore of a tranquil pond. And the lighting makes it look like you're gazing into a magic crystal ball. Very nice.

    BTW, nice fingernails.

  2. I thought Second Life was pretty interesting, if ultimately kind of limited. As a virtual world, it's unique in that it's not built like a game, with a story to follow, and a goal to reach. It's completely open-ended, and most of the content is user-generated.

    Some sectors of society have a poor opinion of Second Life, because people can become "addicted" to it, and there have been some sob stories in the (online) news about people using it to hook up with strangers and cheat on their spouses. But mostly it's the same old drivel from the moral conservatives and the anti-tech crowd.

    Others have used Second Life for economic or educational purposes, in addition to entertainment, and the possibilities for building your own little world online are great (if you're willing to spend some real world cash). Mostly, though, it's fun just to see what others have built, and to gather together in popular districts and socialize (if you like that sort of thing). And, of course, the possibilities for cybersex are enormous.

    I don't know what they've been up to lately, though, as it's been years now since the last time I even logged on. It was fun for a while, though, and if it weren't for the terrible lag/graphical loading times, as well as the concerning trend towards censorship I was beginning to witness before I quit, I'd probably still check in every now and then. Above all, I miss having complete control over my appearance, right down to the flesh and bones, which isn't possible in real life.

  3. Just wanted to say that I also like your picture from when you were 18. You were just as sexy then, of course. In fact, it's especially exciting to see you at that age, when you were just discovering sex and how to deal with your feelings. I'd love to see more pics of you from then, especially some fully nude shots and photos of you sporting a nice hardon. That would be great!

    The other reason I like the picture of your young self is that it reminds me so much of myself. I took similar shots when I was that age. The crazy thing is, though, I destroyed most of them not long afterwards because I felt embarrassed, or concerned someone might find them. It makes me so upset with myself now – I wish I could go back and tell me young self to keep them and value them. The thing is, those were truly exciting photos, and records from a really exciting period of my life that will never be repeated. After all, "first-time" experiences happen just once, lol, and the excitement I had taking sexual videos and photos of myself for the first time was a unique experience I wish I could look back on now. I'm glad you kept your photos.

    I remember one time especially clearly, when I first had the chance to take a video of myself. I was alone at my parent's home, and I went out into the backyard and videotaped a sexy striptease and dance. It was so exciting dancing nude outdoors like that, and knowing I was recording it on video. I was incredibly hard, and my erect cock looked great swinging and bouncing around as I cavorted. At one point, quite unplanned, I suddenly lost control and came, shooting big cum ropes on the grass. What an exciting experience – it almost takes my breath away now just thinking about it!

    Anyway, after I came I began to feel guilty – I mean, that's not something a person should be doing, right? Lol. I was also worried a neighbor might have seen me over the fence, and thought how embarrassing it would be for my parents (and me too, of course) if they came over and "told on me." Oh boy. Well, I erased the tape not long afterward, but I've regretted it many times since. I really wish I could see my young self having fun like that now.

    Oh well, such is life. Anyway, thanks for sharing one of your young-self photos – it definitely brings back memories.

  4. That's a story I can definitely relate to! I did pretty much the same thing once, recording myself on tape, dancing around naked. It was pretty innocent - it happened years before I learned to masturbate and had my first orgasm - but there was definitely an erotic charge to the atmosphere.

    I taped it just for the thrill of it, but erased it immediately afterward because I was sure I would get in trouble if anybody found out (as you said, there's a lot of shame and guilt connected with these activities, especially in our formative years, when we're expected to be purely asexual), and I had no way to make a copy of it to hide somewhere.

    I regret losing that document of one of my early experiences, but there was really no way I could have kept it, in the climate I was born into. That's why I celebrate the advance of technology (I never would have began erotic modeling without the privacy and convenience of digital photography), and specifically the social trend in "sexting" that so many others love to criticize.

    There is such paranoia over depictions of young persons' bodies and sexuality, for fear of those who might exploit them; but adolescence is a unique experience that cannot be duplicated at any other time in a person's life - just like you said!

    I prefer to encourage young people to make documents of their bodies while they're at their physical prime, even if they keep them entirely to themselves. It's an amazing thing to look back on ten, twenty, fifty years later when your health is failing, and time and gravity has taken its toll on your body.

    Eliminating this aspect of life from the social dialogue due to fear-mongering special interest groups is, to me, one of the saddest applications of censorship in the world today.

    I'm just happy I had the opportunity to record my own physique and some of the erotic activities I was engaged in at least from the age of 18. I like my body the way it is now, for the most part - I have it much better than a lot of people - but if I had the opportunity, I'd take my 18 year old physique back in a heartbeat.

    Anyway, I have a small handful of webcam shots from when I was 18-20 years old posted on flickr. If you look at them in order, you can tell that I was shy about showing my cock at first, and then eventually I got comfortable enough to display it even hard. This was definitely my erotic modeling debut, lol. If you've never checked them out, they're definitely worth looking at. You can find them all in this set:

  5. Thanks for the link to the set. I think I had seen a couple of the photos before, but not the entire set. I'll make a few comments on photos that stood out to me:

    About Face – Delightful smile. Makes me smile just looking at it.

    Calm – Wow, what an amazing physique you had at that age. (Of course, it's still true now!) Looks like all muscle and not fat.

    From Behind – Pretty hair, nice body contour.

    LZ II – Again, I like the pretty smile.

    Toweled Set – Interesting to see your shyness here.

    Stinger – Wow, nice view of your hard cock. So hard.

    Determination – Good title. Both you and your hard cock live up to the name.

    Door Frame Set – Very nice set of photos. I like them all, but especially the one in the lower left panel. Wow, what a great pose, and I love your hard cock pointing straight up to the sky. Very nice!

    Thanks again for sharing these with me. I'd love to see more from this time period if you have them – or even earlier for that matter.

  6. Ooops, I sent this off too soon. Should have proofread more carefully.

    Calm – I meant all muscle and no fat.

    Door Frame Set – I meant the lower right panel, of course.


  7. If I could go back in time, I'd tell myself to take a lot more pictures during my physical prime. Alas, this is pretty much all there is, at least of the non-"family album" variety. It's like they say, youth is wasted on the young.