Sunday, December 14, 2014

Nudist Erection Anxiety

I had a bit of a minor epiphany as I was lying awake in bed this morning. Admittedly, I have some fairly non-mainstream views on nudity, but my base line goal for society is simply a more natural approach towards the human body - a compromise that would strip away all the neuroticism and permit, as I like to say, "responsible nudity in reasonable contexts".

Consider, for example, the way the average person feels about "underwear". Nobody (for the most part) is showing up to work, or picking up groceries, in their underwear. People dress up to go out and do their daily business - that's normal. At the same time, if you stopped over at somebody's house, and they hadn't had time to get dressed, and they, say, answer the door in their underwear, nobody is going to scream bloody murder. Some may consider it a social gaffe, but that's largely a matter of taste and opinion, and only the most uptight of persons would make a serious case out of it. And what's more, if they did make a case out of it, I think the majority of the population would shrug and say, "no big deal".

That's what I call being reasonable. It's not that people aren't allowed to be offended by something like that. And there's no problem with preferring to see a person dressed rather than in their underwear. The point is that, regardless of your views, there are times when being in your underwear just makes more sense (just as there are other times when being fully dressed makes more sense), and I seriously doubt anybody would make a federal case out of seeing somebody in their underwear, even if they happened to be picking up the newspaper at the end of their driveway one morning.

All I'm saying is that we should have a similar approach to nudity. There are times when nudity makes perfect sense (swimming, for example), and if it weren't for all the puritanical modesty bullshit, and the absolute fear of discovering what Homo sapiens' genitalia looks like (despite the ironic fact that every person with this fear possesses at least one set of those genitalia that s/he can't possibly avoid looking at, at some point during their day-to-day life), I think we all could survive (thrive, even) with a more reasonable attitude toward nudity - much like the nudists already do.

The nudists are awesome in that regard. They are far more enlightened than mainstream society. They are not, however, perfect. I think that, on an individual level, nudists are in a good position to have a healthier approach toward human sexuality (and a lot of them probably do, although attitudes will vary just as much as in any group) than the mainstream. However, the limited acceptance that society gives nudists to practice their lifestyle (i.e., in isolated communities where they won't spook the normies), pretty much depends on debunking the popular misconception that nudism is a front for swinging sex orgies. As a result, nudists like to err on the side of promoting a "clean" image, since they have much, much more to lose from allegations of sexual misconduct (or any sexual conduct, really) than just about any other subset of the population.

I have no desire to turn nudism into a sexual utopia. While, again, I have pretty radical views on human sexuality, I think the majority of the population is, unfortunately, unprepared to act in a more evolved way toward one another sexually (although unlike most, I'd be willing to put that to the test, in the interest of science); and, besides, even if some of us were ready, the forces of chastity are far too powerful to allow such a thing to succeed. In any case, adding any kind of element of overt sexuality at all to the practice of nudism would be a surefire and fast track method of destroying pretty much everything that's good about nudism in this social climate. There's a reason I'm a nudist, but not a swinger (in spite of how sexually open an attitude I have).

And so we come to the issue of erections. Most guys (understandably) have questions about how erections are dealt with in a nudist situation, and most nudists say that it's not a big deal. Because in truth - it isn't. Men's anxieties are certainly not unfounded, but experience tends to show, and rather quickly, that the problem of unintended erections is much less than it's made out to be. They do occasionally have a tendency to pop up - and any reading of male sexuality that presupposes that an erection is always the direct result and guaranteed precedent of specifically sexual stimulation is woefully inadequate. But most nudists profess to be reasonable in the case of unexpected tumescence, so long as the "victim" of said tumescence discourages any further development, in as discreet a manner as possible.

And I believe them - it's just that it's the sort of situation where if everything works out right, you'll never notice it's happened. And I honestly can't remember a single time I've ever seen a man at a nudist resort with an erection. Of course, with some guys (especially the ones who are overweight), you might not be able to tell the difference. And there was that one black guy I remember seeing flopping around, but I'm sure he was just exceptionally endowed (I know, stereotypes are bad - especially when they're true :p). To be fair, this situation works out pretty well, as far as compromises go. There are other problems in nudism I would address first before complaining about the lack of erections (bear with me, for a moment) - like the obstacle of access to nudist environments (having to drive to the middle of nowhere, and then having to pay admission just to enjoy some outdoor, social nude recreation), or the fear and paranoia surrounding the use of cameras at nudist resorts (except the security kind), and nudists' reliance on keeping their lifestyle secret from their friends, families, and coworkers.

So, unless you're some kind of sex pervert (like me - and I'm not even generally attracted to men), you're probably wondering what exactly the problem is with keeping erections under wraps in a nudist context (as with everywhere else, except bedrooms and the sets of porno films). Well, as hinted at above, it breeds anxiety about our bodies, above and beyond the social imperative to encourage people to behave in an appropriate manner. It's a subtle thing, but as I mentioned before, erections are not simply and always about direct sexual stimulation. Sometimes they really do pop up, and that doesn't necessarily mean that they are entirely random, but the trigger could be something benign, such as a certain tactile sensation (the wind or sun), or pressure (lying on one's stomach, which is, ironically, often cited as a solution to the erection problem - it keeps it hidden, yes, but I find that the pressure is anything but discouraging to the erection), or motion (like the slapping of one's member against the thigh during athletic activity) that is entirely unpremeditated and wholly nonsexual in nature.

Even something psychological, like being unexpectedly treated to the sight of a beautiful specimen of humanity in the buff - which may actually include an element of sexuality - is still very much harmless, in my opinion, so long as it is permitted to run its course unaided and not progress to any kind of behavior or activity that would be inappropriate in such a semi-public, social context. That's just the thing, and it's something that's easily overlooked when people have clothes on, since the erection can literally just be ignored (as it is already covered up). Physical arousal is an entirely involuntary response, to use a scientific term. Though you can do things to deliberately stimulate arousal, tumescence is not a muscle you can simply flex by will alone, like your biceps. (This was the topic of a huge debate between a student and my biology teacher in my high school class, and the teacher, unsurprisingly, had the right of it).

The point is that you cannot consciously control erections (if you could, the distributors of Viagra would go bankrupt). You can do things to encourage or discourage them, but if some unplanned-for trigger unexpectedly starts the ball rolling, there may be some level of visible tumescence that just cannot be avoided. Sure, we can cover it up to spare others the sight, but I don't see the point. Nudists believe that nudity is a state of being, not a state of doing. Well, sexual arousal is the same. We can do things to incite arousal, and we can do things while aroused that would be explicitly sexual and, thus, inappropriate in most settings (especially nudist environments). But sometimes we feel some level of arousal independent of our deliberate intentions, and when that happens, it's as natural and innocuous as simply being nude. Erect - like nudity - is a state of being, not doing. People should be held responsible for what they do with erections, and even what they do to encourage or discourage them, but they should not be held responsible for simply having them.

I know, this is probably one of my radical positions, and I respect that. But my point stands. (Not literally - at least, not at this moment :p). Tumescence is just a natural feature of the human penis. Yes, it's connected to human sexuality, but it, in and of itself, is not sexually explicit. The very same argument comes up in the art vs. porn debate, on websites like deviantART, for example, where artistic nudity is permitted, but erections are treated as porn and disallowed. I don't think erections should be treated as porn. Being erect is not the same thing as sticking that erection somewhere or otherwise doing something with it. Being aroused is not the same thing as being engaged in sexual activity (whether intercourse, or masturbation, or what have you), and, wherever nudity is allowed, women are (discriminatorily) permitted to be photographed in an aroused state with immunity. I don't understand why if a person is permitted to view the penis in its unerect state, there's something wrong, then, with that person seeing it erect. It's just one of those things that penises do, and if you've advanced to the point where you're not specifically offended by the mere sight of them, then you should be able to handle them whether flaccid or erect.

Again, I'm not saying this is a big deal that needs to be made a priority in terms of social reconditioning. But it's one of those subtle, straightforward things that I think demonstrates how much human beings jump through hoops just to hide the reality of life - the fact that we're sexual beings, and the way in which our bodies work. Sure, plenty of people are offended by sex - and they're entitled to make their best efforts to try and avoid it in their daily lives - but it goes deeper than that, because we're actually legally mandated to hush up about the reality of sex, lest kids find out the reason they exist before we, as a culture, are comfortable letting them know about it (i.e., on their 18th birthday, and even then, only begrudgingly, since restricting the sexual rights of adults is impossible - so we just make sure they don't enjoy it as much, by undermining education, discounting facts, and instilling a strong sense of shame and self-loathing surrounding people's bodies and their sexual experiences from a very young age).

Bottom line? If I wake up in the morning, and my roommate has a guest over, I should be able to get up out of bed - having slept nude, and with my morning stiffy (that has nothing to do with sex) - and walk to the bathroom without needing to feign modesty and scrounge around for some form of coverup, in my own home. I'm not unreasonable - I'm willing to cover up when I go out, to protect the modesty of others, even though I don't agree with them. I'll even put something on to answer the door, since you never know who it might be. But one thing I really hate is feeling trapped in my own home, and being forced to act the part of embarrassment and modesty, which not only do I not feel, but am actively against, just because I know the other person is (probably) uncomfortable with my nudity. It's insincere, and there's nothing I hate more than not acting honest and truthful with people. If they're upset with my nudity, then let them react to it. I'm not going to express their reaction for them, just to save them the opportunity to be offended or uncomfortable. In my own home. And if they really don't like it so much, maybe they'll just stop coming over. No skin off my back.

Uh-oh. I'm one of those roommates, aren't I? But I just like having a sanctum somewhere, a place where I can be free and feel comfortable just being myself. A place I can retreat to when I don't want to deal with the rules and the compromises of wider society. A place where no other can intrude, without my invitation. Is that so bad? I think it should be one of the fundamental civil rights, along with the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - the right to an inviolable sanctuary - not a place of total privacy where the law doesn't apply, but simply a place a person can go to be alone and relax, and not deal with the hassle of other people, and their expectations.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Cyber Monday

I must be a pervert, because whenever I hear the word "cyber", I think of cybersex. Naturally, it cracks me up when I hear people talking about Cyber Monday every year. But, following in line with my perversion of Election Day, this seems like a perfect holiday to celebrate everything to do with internet sex! Even if you don't have somebody to chat up (x-rated style) on the internet today, or aren't keen on hunting for a willing stranger, this would still be a fine opportunity to masturbate to some internet porn. I know, you probably do that every other day of the week (:p), but this time, if somebody catches you, you can just tell them you're celebrating Cyber(sex) Monday!

And before you ask, I must confess that I don't really enjoy cybersex, personally. I'd much rather watch or do than narrate sex. Cybering is too socially-oriented, and I am a very visual person. I would prefer, instead, to swap sexting pictures with some attractive exhibitionists. And I say that having some experience cybering in the past. When I was a teenager, in the days when "chat rooms" were still a thing, I had an ephemeral relationship with a particular girl, and we spent much of our time chatting together engaged in cybersex. Inexperienced as I was in the realm of sex, it was very exciting for me, and was the catalyst for my own true sexual awakening, as before that I had no idea how to "take care of myself" whenever I felt horny.

Me at 18, and ten years later.

Not much later, during the course of a tumultuous long distance relationship with a girl I had paired up with before my high school graduation, I had the opportunity once or twice to engage in some phone sex (presumably the pre-digital age version of cybering). That relationship also involved some picture trading, which gave birth to my interest in erotic self-portraiture, as I have described before. But it wasn't until several years later, after graduating from college, that I got the bulk of my experience engaging in cybersex, in the realm of Second Life.

And what that experience taught me was that I don't really like cybersex all that much. I created an avatar in Second Life and, pervert that I am, delighted in watching her engage in sex on screen on the various sexual position poseballs. For me, finding someone to "cyber" with was really just a matter of finding someone who would pose with me, but, to my disappointment, most people could care less about the posing, and would even go so far as to cyber completely by chat, as if the avatars didn't make a difference. And, frankly, I wasn't interested in getting a stranger off through chat, I wanted to watch my avatar having sex!

But, in the process of learning all this, I had to engage in a lot of more and less satisfying cybersex with people whose real world appearance (or even gender - though I suspect many of them were men, both those with male avatars and otherwise) I would never discover. All the time, I should mention, I presented myself as female which, entirely aside from any motivation to trick people, provided me great insight into how women are treated by men (especially sexually), and was also a catalyst in my real life transformation from male-presenting to female-presenting.

Obviously, I was propositioned a lot, since I designed my avatar after what I myself desire in women - she was a hot, young, skinny, flirty blonde (although I occasionally mixed up her appearance) who dressed like a slut, and loved to take her clothes off. Yes, a lot of the attention was single-minded, and not all of it respectful, but on the other hand, I had some men who would satisfy themselves just for the chance to sit and chat with me (not about sex) for an hour, some even willing to give me gifts without expectation of anything in return - even getting to see me again! Experiencing how men treat women while also understanding the male psychology behind that treatment is enlightening, although it doesn't inspire any more positive a reaction to the petty whining you hear so much of these days by so-called "feminists", who merely lack a critical understanding of human sexual interaction.

Some of my more "colorful" cyber experiences in Second Life involve: a lesbian threesome (albeit one girl was a hermaphrodite with a retractable penis) resulting in a daisy chain that resembled Neapolitan ice cream; a sisterly romance with another faerie (I would often put wings on and spend time being a faerie), whose keeper would also flirt with me; a kindly gentleman who gave me a sensual massage and finished our sexual encounter by placing a finger in my anus (which, at the time, still relatively inexperienced in real world sexual encounters, I didn't quite understand the point of); and a brute of a man that I don't think spoke much English, who took me to a dank warehouse at the back of some dirty alley, shackled me to a bare, blood-spattered mattress, and demanded that I scream while he fucked me raw. I remind you that all of these experiences were virtual in nature and didn't involve my actual, physical body.

A lot has changed since those days, although I would still enjoy logging in every now and then if the program a) had better graphics b) that don't take so long to load, and c) gave you something to do in-world beyond socializing with other players and simply exploring (although I do like exploring). I'm also a little bit concerned about censorship creep, since this is a virtual world that exists in people's imaginations, where you should be able to get your freak on without discrimination, yet there are still people insisting upon acting as the moral police. But I stopped paying attention to that news years ago.

Nowadays I'm more or less content to dress and groom myself like a girl, and reap the exhibitionist thrill of posting sexy pictures of myself on the internet. Although one of my deepest fantasy desires is still to have the ability to mold my body into any shape I want, like you can in some games and virtual worlds (like Second Life), so I could be a true girl down to every last detail. But until technology reaches that point (and I'm not holding my breath), I'm sure I'll be spending a lot more time indulging my sexual interests on the internet. A wonderful invention, no? And today - Cyber Monday - is the day to celebrate its most pleasurable application!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Illicit(?) Thrill of Nudity

This past holiday weekend found me visiting with family in an environment not so comfortable as home - where I lounge naked practically 24/7 - but in a place I've called home, and where my interest in nudism surfaced (once upon a time), but only by isolated and secretive measures. And so it was that in the evening, circumstances conspired to place me in the house alone, and I took advantage of the opportunity to shoot some billiards (a long time casual hobby I've picked up from my dad) sans clothes.

A question many textiles ask nudists is, why nude? I guess they don't get it, because they haven't tried it (or because some people just aren't wired for it). The ignorant sometimes suppose that nudism is a thin veil for wild sex orgies, while the nudists counter with their motto, "normal, just naked". But does the truth lie somewhere in between? There has to be something to nudism, observant critics argue, or else why would the nudists bother?

Part of the draw of nudism - and the most innocuous part - has to do with comfort, and relaxation. Sure, one must pay attention to the thermostat, although I've found that the body's ability to regulate its own temperature without clothes is more adept than I would have imagined. But it's not about that. It's about freedom from the restriction of clothes. I will concede that some people just don't get this point, and maybe it requires a certain tactile sensitivity, but there is (for me, and many other nudists) a decided comfort advantage in being without clothes.

But is there more to it than that? For some, perhaps not. But others? Certainly, going nude in any place other than the shower or the changing room is generally considered taboo. So there could be an element of excitement involved in breaking the taboo. Is this, then, the source of the "illicit thrill" of being nude? When I am nude in my own home, I hardly feel it - I'm used to being nude there, and it doesn't feel "wrong". But circling the billiard table, with the keen fear of the possibility of getting caught resting in the back of my mind, I feel electrified and liberated.

I've heard a lot about the excitement of being in a situation where you fear you might be caught. I'm not sure I understand it exactly. I mean, there's danger involved, and that could be a source of excitement - although it seems to me a lot like masochism, taking pleasure in the stimulation of pain; you're ignoring whether the stimulation is good or bad, and just taking advantage of its effect on your mind or body. The thought of being caught is rather embarrassing (and in some cases terrifying), and I definitely do not want it to happen, so why would having that sword of Damocles hanging over my head cause me to enjoy myself more, and not less?

I suspect that maybe the getting caught part is only incidental. I'm inclined to believe that the thrill comes more from the breaking of the taboo, and the threat of getting caught merely emphasizes that the activity is taboo (for, after all, going nude in my own home is hardly a taboo). The question on my mind is whether or not this thrill of breaking the taboo on nudity is "illicit" - specifically, whether I ought to feel any kind of shame for indulging in it. Obviously, the answer to this question depends on your definition of the word "illicit", but I think the important distinction is whether or not that thrill is sexual in nature.

Now, I will make the disclaimer that different persons can engage in similar activities for a wide variety of reasons (and the same person can even engage in the same activity at different times for different reasons). And, as the internet meme called "Rule 34" demonstrates, humans have a remarkable ability to harness the latent sexual energy from just about anything. But is there anything normally and intrinsically sexual about the breaking of the nudity taboo? I would argue no. On a separate occasion, I did indeed contextualize my experience shooting billiards nude in a sexual way. I think that's a psychological choice one can choose to make, or not make, depending on the situation (like the difference between skinny dipping with a romantic partner, and swimming in the pool at a nudist resort).

But this time, I was not engaged in any activity that would be inappropriate in a family-friendly nudist setting. The thrill I received from my activity was not sexual in nature - I was not sexually aroused - and, though I may be an exhibitionist to some extent, it had nothing to do with showing off or being seen, since I was alone the whole time. I believe it derived primarily from the impropriety of the activity - the flouting of certain social rules I don't agree with, enhanced by whatever natural draw being engaged in [especially physical] activity without clothes on holds, and the feeling of liberation involved in breaking those rules that normally prevent people from experiencing those draws.

It is, in a sense, "naughty", because you're being a nonconformist, and breaking certain rules of social propriety (but not ethical imperative). But it is not a sexual sort of "naughty"; it's one that anyone - from small children to elderly grandparents - could appreciate, given a proper introduction and the right frame of mind. It would be a chore to go into the reasons why nudity is a taboo in the first place, but the existence and nature of nudist resorts across the country - nay, the world - lends evidence to the fact that those who choose to break the taboo, though they may be engaging in nominally "illicit" behavior, are not necessarily perverts, and have nothing, truly, to be ashamed of.

Although they may, nonetheless, have a lot of explaining to do, if encountered in the act of nude recreation by unsuspecting textiles. -_^

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Outfit of the Day (#ootd)

Winter is here. We're halfway through November, and the first snow has been spotted. That means it's time to break out the winter coat!

As a nudist, one of the most annoying things about going out is having to get dressed. And if you're just running out to pick up a pizza, or take care of a few quick errands, it seems kind of wasteful to pick out a whole outfit that nobody's going to see under your coat anyway.

And this winter coat - it's pretty warm, and provides full neck-to-knee coverage. So I decided not to wear anything underneath it. The boots cover up enough of my legs that it doesn't seem like I'm dangerously exposed to the elements - I could just be wearing a skirt under that coat (which I sometimes do).

Interestingly - and I say this for the benefit of anyone who might think there's something wrong or illegal about what I was wearing - this coat covers up as much - and, indeed, in many cases more - as many perfectly normal and acceptable outfits that people wear (think about revealing summer clothes, and thin dresses that people sometimes even wear without underwear). As long as I'm not opening my coat and flashing people (and I didn't), there ain't nothing wrong with it.

On the other hand, being covered only by a thick overcoat and not form-fitting, restrictive garments, I had the feeling of being more naked than I usual am when I'm walking through the mall, surrounded by people. It was like a weird juxtaposition of being at the mall, and being at a nudist resort, except that everyone else is clothed. It was fun!

Monday, November 10, 2014

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Erection Day

My observance of this all-American holiday is admittedly spotty (I last celebrated on this blog three years ago), but I always consider it a creative challenge to find ways to photograph an erection that is artistic and (relatively speaking) tasteful.

So-called "dick pics" are pretty much the bane of the internet, and consist mostly in not necessarily attractive men wanting to "show off" their goods to unsuspecting strangers (usually attractive women) for some sort of illicit sexual thrill (or validation, or who knows what other reasons).

And that really represents the worst kind of exhibitionism - the sort that thrives on vulgarity and the violation of others' consent, and gives a bad name to the rest of us decent people who simply enjoy looking and being looked at.

But the fact that 95% of the world's sexually explicit media is crass has never stopped me from trying to prove that human sexuality can be depicted in a way that is refined and, dare I say it, beautiful.

And as a sex-positive individual, I view the erect phallus as a celebratory symbol of sexual arousal, rather than a threatening symbol of male dominance and intimidation.

But you don't have to be male to celebrate Erection Day - clitoral erections may be decidedly more understated than the penile analog, but they are every bit as important to the world's collective sexual satisfaction.

So, on this, the Tuesday after the first Monday in November, I invite you to celebrate sexual arousal in whatever responsible and uplifting ways you know how. If that involves showing off your genitals in an aroused state, then have at it - but remember the difference between celebrating your erection, and shoving it in unsuspecting people's faces.

If you're not comfortable showing yourself off to the world in that way, then certainly, you can wear your erection proudly underneath your clothes today. It'll put you in a happier mood, and chances are, nobody will suspect a thing! Although spreading the word about this exciting holiday is good, too. -_^

Monday, November 3, 2014

Another Miss

Given the season, I would guess that this was a Homecoming dress, but it has the same flamboyancy that is characteristic of prom dresses, and that's what's important. It's not the perfect prom dress for me, like that green one was, on account of its remarkable length (the girl that wore this dress must have worn six inch heels, because I'm pretty tall for a woman). But it is one that I would be delighted to wear. In the first case, it's a beautiful pink color, with sparkling embellishments. I like its shape, and even though I prefer a short skirt that shows off my sexy legs, the longer skirt of this dress does have something of a feeling of elegance to it, which is also fun.

Alas, I could not get the dress zipped up, so it was a lost cause. And too bad, too, because it was marked down to twenty-five bucks from over a hundred dollars! Always it seems to be the case that I can't get the dress zipped up. The length is workable, even the bust is reasonable (given my lack of proportion in that area), and it looks great on me! But without zipping it up, it's not even technically "on" me; I have to hold it up to keep it on. What is it with girls and their super tiny waists? It's not fair! Do women have smaller rib cages than men or something? Will I ever be able to find a prom dress that fits on me? Do they make prom dresses for "big-boned" women? I'm pretty disappointed.

I was also looking for something "Christmas-y". I thought this dress was real cute on me, but I had the same damn problem - I couldn't get it zipped up...

Guess I'm doomed to wear my birthday suit. At least it fits.