Saturday, June 14, 2014

Door Greeter

I've heard stories about people (especially nudists) forgetting to put clothes on before answering the door. But have you ever made the absent-minded mistake of answering the door naked with a hard-on?

Okay, okay, chances are, when that happens, it's no mistake...

Greeting at the door naked is, obviously, an intriguing photo concept for me, but I realized that it would be pretty uninteresting if I didn't somehow raise the stakes and find a way to outdo my previous result (seen here). And that's how this image was born.

And now, the ensuing essay:

I've talked about this before (more than once, in fact), but I have an interesting take on exhibitionism. I'd like to believe it's not so unique, and that there are more people out there like me than the criminals and social misfits - a lot of which may not even realize the extent of their desires, or who have conformed to the stereotype in the absence of a better alternative model - but certainly my experience goes against the accepted stereotype of "the public flasher", which everyone seems to think is a sufficient representation of a person with exhibitionist impulses.

The truth is, I am very intensely turned on by the thought of being exposed - whether it's just my body, or, more specifically, engaged in sexual acts - or being so engaged in non-private places that are not usually designated for such things. (How this relates to my being a [genuine] nudist is an important but complex issue, that I have addressed elsewhere - here, and here). But here's the thing. It's almost as if people believe that if someone has a sexual desire (fetish, if you like) like this, that it's the end of the story, and he will simply get his kicks regardless of any other factors.

But isn't it true, as the BDSM community would profess, that a person with a rape fantasy, for example, is capable of withholding his urge to rape, or, probably in more cases, doesn't even have a desire to commit actual (versus fantasy) rape, because he understands all the mitigating factors that make real rape an entirely different beast from fantasy rape? There's something in there, something psychological, that makes a thing like that sexually appealing to the right person. But that's not the end of the story. We are not brainless slaves to our single-minded sexual impulses, and it does not blind us to reality and the repercussions of our actions.

In my case, there is something in the psychological concept of exposure that I find sexually appealing. I'm not interested in psychoanalyzing it just now; I'm happy simply to take advantage of it to increase the amount of pleasure in my life (without hurting anyone or breaking the law). But at the same time, I have a very strong fear of being exposed. Think about that for a second. The concept of exposure excites me, but actual exposure frightens me - because I understand the repercussions. Most people don't want to unexpectedly see that sort of thing, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to conclude that their reaction is going to be largely negative (not to mention the legal trouble you could get into).

So I don't actually want to expose myself to people. Or at least, not anyone who isn't expecting it, and I don't imagine will enjoy it. The possibility for exposure gets me excited, but were it to actually happen (and in cases where the possibility turns to imminent threat), everything changes, and I go into defense mode. So, though I may sometimes engage in nominally risky behaviors (like in remote woods, on dark streets, in front of windows), I am not a threat to society, and certainly the very conception of my behavior does not require someone to be the unsuspecting victim - that just doesn't factor into it at all.

Still, I am an exhibitionist. I learned that when I started my journey in self-portrait photography. I had to get over my inhibitions, of course, but gradually my excitement at exposing myself to a receptive and encouraging audience overtook the stress and anxiety that was indoctrinated into me by a sex negative society. I can't understand how anyone could get off on shocking and disgusting unsuspecting strangers when they could instead get their rocks off exposing themselves to people who are enthusiastic about seeing it - except, of course, that a sex negative society has a way of turning non-conformers down dark alleys by limiting and restricting the positive outlets available for non-traditional sexual desires.

Nowadays, I derive great enjoyment from the entire process of making sexy pictures (being both the subject and the director of those pictures), and sharing them with an audience who is just as excited at getting to see my exposed body, and even engaging in sexual behaviors, as I am, being the one exposed. This is what I refer to as "consensual voyeurism/exhibitionism" (since voyeurism and exhibitionism, of the consensual variety, are really just two sides of the same coin). This delights me greatly, and I've added it to my sexual repertoire, which includes masturbating to pornography, and engaging in socio-sexual contacts (i.e., actually having sex with another person) - not all of which always require orgasm, or sometimes even physical arousal, to effect a satisfactory measure of enjoyment.

And of these outlets, the exhibitionism that inspires my photography is probably the most productive, because, the way I approach it, I get to make (hopefully) lasting and worthwhile art in the process of getting my jollies. That's why I like erotic art better than both non-erotic art and non-artistic porn. It's sexy, and it's beautiful. And I don't understand these sexual conformists who believe that you should only engage in specific sexual behaviors, or that you should only have one particular kind of sexual outlet - people who believe that masturbation has no place within a marriage, or that somehow exposing yourself to (willing) strangers demeans or belittles the partners you have sexual arrangements with, despite the fact that looking is worlds away from touching! I'll let absolutely anyone look at my naked body, or even watch me having sex, if that's something they want to do (and it doesn't get me in trouble) - anyone! But I let very few people touch me. And that's just the way I like it.


  1. I was just reading this post and came across the following:

    looking is worlds away from touching! … I let very few people touch me. And that's just the way I like it.

    This makes me feel bad about what I wrote to you earlier about going to the movies with you. As I said at the time, though, I would only touch if you made it clear you wanted me to. I understand completely, and am perfectly happy to restrict my enjoyment to viewing – I was just indulging in a bit of fantasy.

    I was quite interested in this next comment you made:

    I'll let absolutely anyone look at my naked body, or even watch me having sex, if that's something they want to do (and it doesn't get me in trouble) - anyone!

    I sure wish I was physically closer to you because that's an offer I would take you up on in a flash. I would be respectful and just watch, but I would love to see you having sex, whether it was jerking off to porn or having sex with another person. My heart is racing just thinking about it.

    Of course, I'm the same way. I would also let anyone see me nude or having sex – I would enjoy performing for them. (In fact, I've had the chance to put on a few impromptu, spur of the moment shows of this sort in the past, but it would be especially fun to schedule a show like this in advance and then anticipate it as the time drew near.)

  2. Truthfully, I would be uncomfortable with somebody I don't know very well touching me like that, unless it was somone I had an instant attraction to. However, you don't need to feel bad about the fantasy you wrote. The fun thing about fantasies is that they depict an idealized version of reality, and I totally understand that.

    In the realm of reality, though, I would totally let someone watch me having sex. In fact, it's something I'd like to do, just for the experience of it. Apart from my photography and videos on XTube, though, I have yet to meet anyone in person (except the one woman I have a sexual relationship with) who is both as polite and as perverted as I am.

    One of my wildest fantasies, though, is to perform sexual intercourse on a stage in front of an audience, like as if it were a performance piece, all formal and everything. Of course, given my libertine morals, I wouldn't be upset if the audience members were given free license to pleasure themselves while they watch. I guess it would be kind of like putting on a live porn movie. That probably sounds really perverted, but hell, I think it could be a lot of fun.

  3. Boy, it's interesting how similar some of our fantasies are. I don't think it sounds perverted at all, because I imagine doing the same sort of thing. Perform, just like in a live porn movie, and make sure everyone gets a good view of everything.

    As I say, too bad I'm not closer to you because you could fulfill your desire to have sex while someone watches very easily. I think I am as polite and perverted as you, lol, so we would make a good match. I would be your perfect audience. And I would also enjoy pleasuring myself as I watched you – in fact, I wouldn't be able to resist doing so.

    I love this kind of fantasy, and often while I'm making love I imagine someone is watching or filming us, and I try to give as erotic a performance as I can.

    Thanks again for your reply. So nice to talk with a kindred spirit.

  4. I've thought about this post quite a bit. Like I say, I'm like you in that I'd enjoy giving a sexual performance, and would enjoy having sex for anyone who wanted to watch.

    I wonder sometimes if any of our friends have a clue that if they just asked they could have their own private performance. I also wonder if any of our friends are the same, if only we would ask them. Of course, it's not the sort of thing that usually comes up in "polite" conversation, lol.

    It also reminded me of one time I sort of gave a sexual performance, though it was on a video. A secretary in another department in the same building (the one who grabbed my ass, lol) came over to get some computer programs. We chatted in the break room often, and many times our conversation got quite delightfully racy. We both knew the real reason she was coming over that evening was to watch some porn with me.

    After doing some computer stuff for a few minutes I asked if she would like to watch some porn. She immediately said, "Oh, yeah." We watched some, and she especially liked the porn bloopers – really got a kick out of them.

    Then I showed her a list of scenes on another DVD, and one was cumshots. She said, "What's this one?" I said, "It's a cumpilation of some of my cumshots." It really was innocent – I thought she would want to see one of the professional porn scenes, and didn't even mention the one of me until she asked. As soon as I told her what it was, though, she said, "Oh, I want to see that one!" The way she said it, with such gusto, immediately made me harder than I already was.

    So I put on the scene of me jerking off and cumming, and she loved it. She was a great audience. She loved my cock, and my shots. She was so complimentary and appreciative. It was amazing. I had to sort of pinch myself to realize I was sitting next to this very nice proper woman from the break room who was watching me stroke my cock and shoot, even if only in a video. That was so exciting, almost like having someone say, "Hey, would you let me watch you jerk off?"

    Anyway, after that I made some jerkoff videos specifically to show to her, and we got together several times after that. It was so exciting to make those videos knowing she would watch them with me.

    Anything like this happen to you? I suppose this is as close as I'll get to giving a sexual performance, but it was very, very exciting. I think we both enjoyed it a lot.

  5. Lucky you! It's great that you found someone who was so enthusiastic and supportive.

    As an erotic artist, I'm pretty open about my sexual politics. I don't necessarily broadcast it - because that sort of thing is bound to make "normal" people uncomfortable - but I don't attempt to hide it from the people that really know me, either.

    So, certainly, my close friends should all be aware that they could watch a video of me masturbating on the internet, were they so inclined. Whether or not they would want to do that is another matter. I think that, except for the ones I am already sexually intimate with, they probably aren't super interested.

    I find it fascinating how a person's attitude will change depending on whether someone is or is not sexually attractive to them. As a straightforward example, a depiction of sexual intercourse could be either arousing or disgusting - to the same person - depending largely on whether the participants are considered sexually attractive to the viewer.

    As an exhibitionist who hypothetically supports the legalization of public sex (I say hypothetically because there are a lot of issues that would need to be addressed before this could happen), I've considered what it might be like to live in an open sexual environment - even if just in private, as a sort of experiment.

    It would be a place where likeminded people could live together, and test out their beliefs on open displays of sexuality. They could just have sex wherever they are, and not have to run and hide behind closed doors and enact this whole performance of secrecy which just turns sex into this departmentalized, taboo subject.

    I'm not sure how I would react to people I'm not particularly attracted to having sex in front of me, but I guess that's the flip side of wanting to be permitted to have sex in public. It's something I'd like to at least try out before coming to the conclusion that the rest of the population seems to have jumped to: that it's not feasible.

    As for my personal experiences, I've had a lot of strangers watch vidoes of me masturbating over the internet (though not in realtime). But apart from my intimate partner - who has watched me masturbate, and fawns over my erotic photos and videos - there have been few (if any) people that I know in person who have seen that much of me.

    One time, my partner told me that she showed a neighbor of hers a picture of me, and that she complimented my cock. But I never knew her more than in passing. In another case, a package was stolen from my doorstep, which contained a book of x-rated cell phone pictures I had taken of myself and my partner.

    From what I heard secondhand and after the fact, the book was passed around the building, and ended up in the hands of a neighbor who was a bit of a prude. She wasn't pleased with what she saw, but, to my knowledge, she never made any trouble about it, and she had moved away before I even found out about it,'s water under the bridge, to me.

  6. Thanks for sharing some of your experiences.

    It's always nice to have a compliment on your cock, and kind of fun to think of your partner and her neighbor looking at it together.

    I had another friend in the building who said she and some of her friends were thinking of hiring a male stripper for sort of a "hen party." I joked that I would like a job like that. She seemed intrigued, and if I hadn't moved soon after that who knows, it might have happened. It would be fun to pose nude for a group of women like that – I know I would certainly enjoy it.

    As for someone taking a package from your doorstep, that sounds odd. Like someone knew what was in it. Curious incident.

  7. Curious, yes, but not terribly unusual where I live now (sad to say). From the evidence that I pieced together, I don't think it was stolen from me on purpose, but was the result of ignorance, illiteracy, a lazy delivery man, and then maybe just a little bit of greed and curiosity thrown in. I don't feel threatened, but I am still angry about it, as that book was never returned to me, and it cost me a good $50 (and then I had to order another one to replace it)...