Monday, February 11, 2013

Reflecting on Narcissism

To write my interest in my own reflection off purely as narcissism is short-sighted. While I do, generally, like what I see, there is more to it than that.

Whatever the cause - introversion, social anxiety, pure curiosity - I have an interest in knowing how I appear to others. I have a strong desire to view myself in the third person. Not just because I like looking at myself, but because I am overly concerned (yes, I admit that) with how I present myself, and I want to be able to put myself into the minds of those who observe me from a perspective that I - trapped inside my own body - am not privy to.

How do I look? From a distance? How would I react if I saw someone looking exactly like myself? What would I think? What would I feel? Can I change my appearance or mannerisms in any way to change other people's reactions for the better? These are all questions that plague me constantly, and even more so when I am dressed unusually and in the midst of a crowd.

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