First of all, I am a nudist, and I fully support non-sexual nude recreation. In fact, I've published a book describing twenty-five different non-sexual reasons to enjoy recreational nudity - so believe me, I get it. But I'm also sex-positive, and I would describe myself as both a voyeur and an exhibitionist. And I find that nudists in particular, but the public in general, have a lot of misconceptions about exhibitionism, many resorting to a reductionist definition informed by the DSM. But one must remember, even things like homosexuality and transvestism had been relegated to the category of a mental disorder for a long time. So while it may have medical utility, I don't trust the DSM to be the final arbiter on issues of so-called sexual deviance.
The fact is, there is nothing intrinsic to the enjoyment of being on exhibition - even for sexual purposes - that relies on a violation of consent. People can engage in a variety of alternative sexual practices in either consensual or non-consensual forms. Even a desire that would seem to rely on non-consent - such as rape fantasies - can still be practiced ethically and consensually. It would not be fair to define any of these desires by the criminal behavior that some individuals - usually those with a lack of boundaries, poor self-control, a disposition toward violence, etc. - engage in. It would be tantamount to defining heterosexuality by men who commit rape - or, even worse, serial killers who sexually assault their victims.
Most people, when imagining an exhibitionist in their mind, think of the stereotypical trench coat flasher. This is an archetype, and apparently a powerful one. Does it exist in reality? Probably. But I don't think it's all that common, and it doesn't define for me what exhibitionism is about. What's appealing about shocking or offending unsuspecting people anyway? Even the supposed thrill of getting caught is better in theory than practice - the thought of it can excite a person, but the reality is often extremely embarrassing, at the very least. The thought of being exposed may thrill me, but the thought of being chastised, reprimanded, even arrested is as utterly horrifying to me as it would be to anyone else of sound mind.
So what, then, is an exhibitionist? I call myself an exhibitionist because I've been sharing naked pictures of myself on the internet for over a decade now. Some of those pictures are celebratory of non-sexual nude recreation. Others are more sexual in nature, and it turns me on to know that others are not just looking at them, but looking at them and liking them. I have never in my life sent an unsolicited dick pic, and don't intend to. There are resources out there, especially on the internet, to share images with people who want to see them, so there really is no excuse, in my mind, for not seeking out these consenting audiences. That some exhibitionists are maybe not as conscientious as I am, isn't an indictment of exhibitionism, but merely an example of the fallibility of mankind.
You can find good actors and bad actors in any lifestyle. Defining the lifestyle by the bad actors is usually a symptom of lack of understanding, and often reinforced by commonly-held prejudices. If the only exhibitionists you ever hear about are the ones that mistakenly act out and cause problems in society, then that's how you're going to view them. But the resulting stigma really isn't fair to those of us who are capable of behaving ourselves, and knowing the boundary between having a vibrant sex life, and violating society's code of ethics. And if you want a general idea of how many other exhibitionists are out there, who enjoy sharing themselves with consenting audiences, try visiting a social media platform that doesn't restrict porn - Reddit, for example - for a start.
No comments:
Post a Comment