Thursday, May 31, 2018

Garden Nudity

Shot from a voyeuristic perspective. :-3

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

The Perils (or Joys) of Handstanding

It really depends on your point of view. ;-)

I think it works better in sequence, but here are the three figures together, just for the hell of it.

Yeah, the third one was purely for fun - I've never known somebody's clothes to spontaneously fall off (completely!) while doing a handstand. It does kind of seem like something that would happen to me, though - I'll strip at the drop of a hat, if I have even the slightest excuse (and can get away with it - that's an important caveat).

Here's the blooper reel:

Handstanding isn't that difficult, but there is lots of room for error. And doing it a few times in succession is one thing, but by the end of this photoshoot, I'd probably done it tens of times and was starting to get tired. Plus it was ninety degrees with high humidity that day - the kind of day where your clothes just get drenched in sweat, and you want to take them off. Days like that are a really strong argument for nudism, I'd say.

Finally, here's a video of me performing a handstand in the nude. There's no sound, because the A/C unit was being really loud and obnoxious. Also, you don't even notice it, but the sunlight gradually comes out just after the start of the video. If you start it back from the beginning after reaching the end, you'll see how much of a difference there is in the lighting! I was extremely lucky that the sun stayed out throughout my handstand photoshoot above, thereby keeping the light consistent.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Hoop Teleportation

Here's a wacky idea I had using hula hoops as portals to simulate teleportation technology.

This was a difficult shoot. I'm super happy with the concept - I think it's a lot of fun. As for execution, it was difficult to get the hoops to stay in place (without bumping them from one shot to the next). Also, the changing sunlight conditions are distracting, but that's an unavoidable risk of shooting on a partly cloudy day. (I didn't have much choice - I wanted to satisfy my creative impulses while I had the chance; which in this case happened to be last minute and first thing in the morning, before I even had my breakfast! It was also brutally hot with high humidity, so I was looking forward to the part of the shoot when I could take my clothes off).

My favorite part of this concept is the idea that the "scientist" enters the portal only to find that when he emerges, his clothes have been unable to make the trip. Call me a pervert if you want - I don't care - but I'm intrigued by the idea in science-fiction or fantasy of any kind of teleportation or transformation technology, or supernatural powers, that have the ability to manipulate organic matter but not textile fabrics. So, you can teleport over large distances, dissolve into mist, transform into a bat - take your pick - but when it comes time to change back, you find that your body has made the journey, but your clothes have not.

Now you're (more or less) unexpectedly naked in a potentially embarrassing or inconvenient situation! But you have a really good, practical reason to be - it's not the result of any deliberate, perverted intention, but just an unforeseen (or unavoidable) side-effect of the technology or powers you've used. So you're a little bit more justified; at least, the responsibility isn't entirely yours. Fictional stories do sometimes acknowledge this contingency - usually for comedic effect - but rarely do they take full advantage of its potential and the opportunity to introduce and showcase nudity in their medium, undoubtedly for fear of censure. But that's something I'd like to see more of.

I realize that it's a bit late for me to be noticing this now, but it has just occurred to me that it would probably look a whole lot more natural if the hoops were angled with their nearest points toward the center (rather than the edges) of the frame, so that I'd be entering the plane of the hoop facing the camera, and not the plane facing away from the camera. I don't know if that was an effective explanation; this seems like something that would be better demonstrated visually. Ah well.

We'll finish by lifting the magic of the teleport hoops, and turning them back into regular hula hoops. Reminds me of a circus show! This last video is a run-through of me circling and crawling through the hoops, just for the hell of it.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Rhythmic Gymnastics

I admittedly don't have much training in gymnastics (a few flips or cartwheels would have been nice), but I thought this would make for a neat video, especially with my hair twirling around in addition to the ribbon baton.

Sunday, May 27, 2018

Backyard Club

This is what it might look like if I hosted a nudist club in my backyard. I don't know that many nudists, though. Here's a video of me running through the poses for each of the clones:

As for this next concept, I was actually planning to do more with it, but that corner of the house is pretty iffy (notice the lower, less opaque fence), and there was a lot of activity in the next two or three yards over that day, so I didn't want to push my luck.

If it seems like I'm lamenting my inability to go outside naked one day, and then posting a whole lot of outdoor nude photos the next, it's because I'm taking full advantage of the rare opportunities (an hour or so here or there, split by days or weeks at a time, weather permitting) to get out there more or less unnoticed. I feel like a teenager again, sneaking outside without my clothes on when the parents are away. I tell you, it's feast or famine, and the feasts are few and far between, but at each one I feel like Katniss preparing for the Hunger Games.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

You Are Not Alone

Some more Instagram-style (that is, square format) porn. :-3

Friday, May 25, 2018

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Censored Brief

I came across this swimsuit patterned to look like a mosaic blur - the most popular alternative to the standard black censor bar - and I thought it looked fun. Naturally, the first question on my mind was, how convincing will it look on my body? Unfortunately, the product was not photographed on a model, as many other swimsuits are. But at the reasonable price of $18.25, I figured I could afford to eat the cost of a novelty, just so I could model and review the suit for other prospective buyers.

It arrived in the mail in a tiny pouch - you gotta love an outfit that can fit into the palm of your hand! I was so excited that I couldn't wait to try it on.

But I also wanted to show you what it looks like out in the sunlight:

Is it a fun conversation-starter? Absolutely! But does it effectively look like a mosaic blur, or will it have people scratching their heads? I'm not certain. If you're light-skinned, it will at least give the illusion - at a glance - of uncommon exposure. But I wonder if the colors don't blend together a little too much, especially at a distance. Plus, the contouring - the way it wraps around your body, especially given the male anatomy - pretty much guarantees that it will look like fabric stretched over skin, and not a planar blur hovering in front of your body. But that's probably inevitable for a piece of clothing - it's not magic.

Still, I have an academic interest in unconventional (especially ABC-style) clothing. I could imagine a swimsuit that's flesh-toned (and would ideally be marketed in a variety of tones from light to dark*), with something of a skirt over top - like some women's swimsuit bottoms or tennis skirts. But the skirt would be a translucent material, similar in appearance to one of those clear, patchwork-style shower curtains, or a privacy window film. Although I don't know how you would do this with a soft fabric as opposed to a plastic or vinyl material, and it may not hang properly when wet. But you'd be perfectly covered - it would just give the illusion of near-exposure. Sometimes I think I should have been a fashion designer...

*By the way, why is this not more common? I mean, other than the fact that it would simulate nudity, and most people are terrified of nudity. I think it sounds like fun. I'd love to have a true flesh-toned swimsuit. I'll let you in on a secret. One of my dream fashion creations involves a garment that would consist of a flesh-toned thong with a simulated fig leaf stitched to the front. Would make for a very cheeky swimsuit, that's for sure. Or a male stripper outfit. One or the other. Anyway, here's a sneak preview of the theme of a blog post coming soon:

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

First Thing

Perhaps not literally, but one of the first things I see in the morning is my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Of course, I'm not a morning person (definitely more of a night owl), so "first thing in the morning" to me is less "first light" and more like 10 or 11 o'clock in the morning. >.>

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Out On The Town

This last mirror had a distorting effect, like I was in some kind of funhouse, lol.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Friday, May 18, 2018

May Flowers

A few precious stolen moments, in lieu of proper naked gardening.

The way I have these pictures arrayed, it almost looks like a hopscotch board!

Thursday, May 17, 2018


After an unyielding, late winter, the cold seems finally to have broken. It hasn't been this mild since February! I definitely wanted to take advantage of the summer-like temperatures, with a cool outfit on this evening ice cream run.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018


This actually reminds me of my first-ever cloning experiment, which was similarly matter-of-fact, and fairly amateur in terms of both posing and picture quality.

Apparently, fisheye lenses are pretty useful for below-the-hip pornographic selfies. #TIL (And these days, you can even get one that clips on to your phone!).

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Monday, May 14, 2018

Dress Shopping

I was invited to go dress shopping with a true, authentic girl. Why? Just for fun, of course! And it was. (Although I didn't find any keepers this time).

I liked the cut of this dress a lot more than I thought I would, once I put it on. Look at the way it rounds my hips! But like most of these dresses, unfortunately, it was too small around the top - I couldn't even zip it up in the back.

This dress was just adorable. Very fairy tale prom princess. There was ample space in the bust, though, and - again - I couldn't zip it up. Not because of my waist, mind you - it's always that last stretch as my back broadens out. But I'd love to find a dress in this style that I can fit.

I've discovered that I look really good in pink and gold. I suppose it accentuates my skin and hair. This dress was a little bit busy, though. It was also in the over-$100 range, so even though I actually fit into it (I suspect that's because it had an open back, rather than a zipper - I should make a mental note of that), I didn't like it enough to pay that much for it.

Still looking for a wedding dress I could do a photoshoot in, so I tried a couple. Really hard to find something I like, that also fits me. (This one was pretty, but perhaps a bit too modest). I ducked my head into a couple bridal shops (as opposed to consignment stores that sell used clothes like this one), but they're all so formal that I get easily spooked.

I loved the cut of this dress. The way it frames my upper torso - it just looked fantastic! But this is, sadly, another one that wouldn't zip up in the back. :-(

This dress was a very pretty shade of pink. But I think the cut of the bust was designed for chestier girls - it accentuates my flatness in a not-so-flattering way.

You know how sometimes you put something on and just instantly fall in love with it? It's not even necessarily the dress you thought you were gonna love when you took it off the rack. I thought this dress was kind of ridiculous - I mean, gold plating? - but it looked fun, so I tried it on. And oh my god, I loved it! It looked fantastic on my figure. It even matched the shoes I was wearing! And it made me feel fierce and beautiful, like some kind of Amazon warrior princess. Sadly, it had the same problem that most of these dresses have - it wouldn't zip up all the way in the back. So I had to pass on it. But I so want a dress like this that fits...

This dress was a gorgeous shade of deep red. I liked the ruffled accents. It was a very thin material, though - not unlike a less shimmery dress I already own, that I've pretty much exclusively used for photoshoots to emphasize the visible outline of my "anatomy" underneath. So, not necessarily practical. It has its pluses, but my anatomy is a pain in the ass sometimes...

Buh-bye. See you next time!


Afterthought: Somebody really needs to invent a dressing booth for photographers. I'm surprised, in this selfie-obsessed age, that this hasn't already been done. I know I'm not the only person who takes selfies in fitting rooms (and not just for perverted reasons, either - how are you gonna remember or show your friends how you looked in that dress?), because I've seen them on the internet!

I'd like a booth with decent lighting, enough space to take full-body shots (without tilting your phone), and a mirror wide enough not to have awkward angled borders along the edges that you can never crop to your satisfaction. And if we're taking the time to design it right, we might as well make it so that there's enough space to hang up clothes, somewhere that doesn't end up creating bulky clutter in the background of your shots. A trick or two with angles and positioning could be enough to accomplish this. If a store wanted to go the extra mile, they could even install some kind of phone mount on which you could hang your phone, in a position convenient for snapping photos (or even video) as you twirl in front of the mirror in each of your prospective outfits. Am I crazy, or does some or all of this sound like a great idea?

You'd have to make a point to keep the mirrors clean, also - which could be a huge job. At the very least, you could provide mirror wipes in each booth, and a small trash can for discarding (applying the same technique for hanging hooks to keep it out of view of the mirror) - like they do for wiping the handles of buggies down at the supermarket. Then, those who are truly serious about their fitting room pictures could take the extra time to clean the mirror, and those who aren't can simply ignore it.