Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sabotaging Sexuality

How to sabotage a person's sexuality:

Preach the belief that sex is an immoral act perpetrated by an aggressor (the one who desires sex) against a victim (who is incapable of either desiring or enjoying sex), where the aggressor derives sexual satisfaction by degrading the victim.

Note that this is essentially the script put forth by anti-sex "feminists" describing men's sexual attraction to women (especially as applied to pornography).

Then, when a person experiences sexual feelings, he will interpret those feelings as a desire to degrade the target of his attraction, and will feel guilty about it.

Supposedly, shame will encourage sexual repression. But you can't eliminate sexual desire, and people are bound to continue acting on their sexual urges, while merely feeling bad about it. And god knows how they'll begin to act once they've been convinced that degradation is the key to satisfaction. You may as well be short-circuiting their moral fuse. See, you can't really control people's sexuality, you just end up fucking with their heads. And that's totally humane.

Meanwhile, the lucky ones among us see the trick for what it is, and recognize that our sexuality, which is wholesome and natural, is simply a desire to seek and pursue pleasure, and not a need to parasitically feed off of the humiliation and degradation of others (although you have to wonder about the desires of the people who insist that that's what sex is all about).

We think of sex in terms of who is getting off. The only time it is ethical to get off on the stimulus of another person is if that person is also getting off (i.e., is a knowing, consenting partner). Otherwise, we view the stimulant as if she were being used, inhumanely, as a sexual object, against her will. Degraded, if you will.

Well, here's another way to think about it. If somebody experiences sexual release, it means they're feeling good. That's better than feeling bad, right? Why are we so tied to our sexual modesty and purity, that we value them above the pleasure of others? Why would we rather maintain those vapid qualities, at the cost of allowing others to suffer through life? If you have contributed to another person's orgasm (knowingly or not, willingly or not), you should feel honored to have had a part in increasing the amount of happiness experienced in the world, to balance out all the pain.

None of this is to suggest that we throw out our concept of sexual ethics. There is polite sexuality, and there is rude sexuality. But don't assume that all sexuality is rude. And don't feel like you have to police your image, both digitally and in the real world, lest some pervert drool over you. If you don't know about it, then how is it inconveniencing you? And meanwhile, you're helping somebody to feel better in their life, if only for a brief moment. By contributing to sexual shame you are only encouraging people to feel miserable.

And perhaps it's because you already feel miserable, and misery loves company. But you know what? I bet you would feel a lot better if you began treating yourself to the occasional orgasm. But even better than that, revel in your sexuality. When you're able to appreciate the sensuality of simply living, when you allow yourself to respond to the erotic triggers you experience daily, you will then be more receptive to the transcendent joy that is inherent in life. And maybe that will better prepare you to deal with the hardships that life inevitably brings. No doubt life is hard. There ought to be a balance, after all. Don't be afraid to let yourself enjoy the good things in life. And don't punish others for having the ability to enjoy those good things, even when you can't.

No comments:

Post a Comment