Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Elaborating on a Point

Recently, I proclaimed the following:

"It occurs to me that anyone who faps to pictures of other people on the internet is a hypocrite if he has a problem with other people fapping to pictures of him on the internet."

Here's a potential counter-argument, that I will debate momentarily:

Porn stars, erotic models, et cetera are photographed with the expectation that people will fap to their pictures. Just because I might go ahead and fap to them doesn't mean other people are entitled to fap to non-sexually oriented pictures of myself (e.g., nudist pictures, pictures of me at the beach or pool) I might post online.

I will concede that point - yet not without mentioning how convenient it is that others are kind enough to be willing to become masturbation fodder for you, while you are not for them (granted, not everyone is equally attractive, and the burden of demand will therefore vary). However, the fact remains that nobody is harmed in an anonymous act of fapping. You may as well try to control people's sexual fantasies, because I guarantee you there are people fantasizing about people (if not about you) and acts that would offend you. I think what you're really concerned about - or what you should be concerned about since it's pointless to worry over something you can't control, i.e., other people's thoughts - is the sexual attention you may be attracting.

I feel for you, because sexual attention can be rude and offensive. And I'm not gonna say we shouldn't encourage people to be more polite about how they give out sexual attention. That's something I support. But sexual attention is not just gonna go away, and trying to censor people through sex shame is not healthy or humanitarian. We ought to come at it from both sides. While encouraging "perverts" to be more polite, we should also work on our own sexual hang-ups, and learn to deal with the fact that sexuality is out there, some people are going to address it, and we should, at the very least, learn how to accept polite sexual attention. That is to say, not dismiss (or attack) someone purely for giving you sexual attention, but only getting defensive when the sexual attention is proffered in a harmful (insistent, inconsiderate, etc.) manner.

Really, it depends on both sides (the prudes and the perverts) adjusting their behavior and working towards a compromise. That means that whichever side you're on, you have work to do if you want to live in a more sexually healthy world (and I assure you, that you will receive more of the wrong kind of attention, or hear of others suffering the same, in a less sexually healthy world, as we have now). If you're a prude, you don't have to become a pervert, but try to think of perverts as people, and try to give them the benefit of the doubt, while suggesting ways NOT to repress their sexuality but to revel in it in a manner that is less offensive to prudes, while simultaneously learning to shrug off sexual comments and attention without getting all in a huff about it. Perverts, you don't have to become prudes, just try to be considerate of other people's sensibilities, and above all be polite, and don't give people attention you don't think they would want.

Prudes, perverts, can't we all just get along? Instead of arguing back and forth that the entire world has to either be sexually sanitized or dirty and debauched? Let's try to live and let live, without disparaging each others' chosen lifestyles. To each his or her own, with the freedom to associate with those of a like mind.

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