Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Greta's Vision For A Sexual World

I just came across a great argument - an argument I've been trying to make for a long time - about the legitimacy of sexuality and sexual concentration (as opposed to obsession or addiction), and I want all of you to read it, because it's the best thing I've read in awhile; you can take my word for it.

My Vision For A Sexual World

I found it by way of Wayne's Nude Musicians, who found it on Sex Is Not The Enemy (which is a great song by the way). The latter blog is quite a find, you should check it out. The pictures may be fun, but the quotes are where it's at. Go ahead and scroll through the pages for a bit. It's really inspiring. I promise.

P.S. Here are a few more posts from Greta Christina's Blog. All of these are highly recommended reading.

Porn, Social Criticism, and the Marginalization of Kink

Why Porn Matters

Sex Writers, Drooling Horndogs, and the Suspectability of Male Sexuality

Sex and the Off-Label Use of Our Bodies

Is All Porn the Same?

Sex -- The Great Exception


Sex, and the Difference between Jaded and Relaxed

Sexual Perspective, Or, How Can You Eat That?

Are You A Sex Addict?

True Love Waits... And The Rest Of Us Get On With Our Sex Lives

Right Wing Hypocrisy, or Why Sex Guilt Fucks Things Up For Everyone


  1. Ha, I totally made the same argument.

    Up until they start talking about sharing sexuality with a lover in musical terms. That is a very interesting concept, and one that seems very healthy to me, particularly in light of the conflicts that tend to arise over so much as an involved man or woman having any sexual feelings for any one or any thing beyond their partner.

    I also concur with the final point about sex getting the respect it deserves as the truest unifying factor in the human race and one of our greatest sources of entertainment. It's a good bit like illict drugs in a sense, as well as pornography, it's something that a vast sector of the populous indulges in with wanton gusto, and yet society somehow keeps it clamped up in the dungeon. You'd think with all these people who enjoy it, it would become accepted, but they've got us hating our own sexuality and hiding it.

    Anyway, my sexual taste definitely mirrors my music taste a lot, I've thought about it before. The difference is that I concentrate so much more on music and tend to accumulate whole eras of particular stylistic preferences in music. My sexual interests are similarly varied but it's a much more laidback "meh, what am I in the mood for today?" If my CD collection is 500 discs, my porn collection would only be maybe 50, if porn were available solely in disc form. But the same variety would be there, it'd just be a terse collection.

  2. I do sometimes get a vibe from some people that sex is supposed to be a social thing, wherein the ultimate goal is to achieve intimacy with a partner. And while that is all well and good, it kind of marginalizes other forms of sexuality, such as, just for example, the lonely guy looking at porn on the internet - and to do that is to encourage shame. But it's just a different musical taste. As long as you're not hurting anyone nonconsensually, there's nothing wrong with selfish and antisocial sexuality.

    I do think that our views on "the monogamy of sexual desire" are rather strict. There isn't a single thing wrong with an involved person having sexual feelings or desires for someone else. It's perfectly natural, and indeed may even be unavoidable. The solution isn't to criticize it in the hopes that it will disappear (it won't, it just goes underground, and that tends to breed more problems), but to accept it for what it is. That doesn't mean we should forgive everyone who "cheats", but it's only cheating if you've written a rule against it - I think more people should be more open to rewriting those rules. And anyway, people love to entangle the physical and emotional aspects of sexuality - and while they can be combined, and it's beautiful when they are, it's not necessary nor is it always the case. It's possible, in my opinion, to remain faithful to a longterm partner while having sex with a hot young fling.

    There's definitely an element of dissociative identity disorder (they would have called it schizophrenia decades ago) going on with society's simultaneous obsession with and loathing of sexuality. We love it, but it's this vice, so we hate ourselves for loving it, and we attack it at the same time that we indulge in it. I don't think that's healthy one bit. Sometimes, when you argue for positive sexuality, people complain that sex is already everywhere, what more do you want? Well, what I want is a healthier approach towards sexuality. I want the sex without the shame. People assume the vice aspect is inseparable from sex, they think it's just a part of sex, but it's not. They've been raised to feel that way. We need educative reform - real sex education.